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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS could only get 1 1/2 a levels, AIBU to think university isn't for him?

152 replies

Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:36

DS wants to do pysics at university Shock he wants to end up being a secondary school teacher.

He did his a levels via distance learning due to us moving around a lot for his dad's work.

He only managed to get 1 1/2 a levels; he says it's because he struggled with learning from the booklets.

Surely if you're going to uni, you need to be able to learn like that??

He plans on doing an access Diploma to then go on to uni.

AIBU to think this path isn't the right thing for him?

OP posts:
BubbleAnimal · 01/09/2017 14:39

If he did a levels by distance learning, is there anything stopping him doing the Open University? They have some great Science degrees.

If he's got 1 1/2 a levels through distance learning he's done well. They're not easy. He's got his head screwed on looking at access courses first. Is there a particular uni he wants to go to? I think it sounds like he's really keen.

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 14:39

I think that your attitude might hold him back.

University is not independent learning from booklets, no.

The disruption from his dad's work moves must have been massive if he could do A levels in the usual way.

Well done him for getting the A levels he did!

And well done him for identifying a route.

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 14:40

How did he get on with GCSEs?

Nuttynoo · 01/09/2017 14:42

So basically your travelling ruined his A Level chances, and now you want to ruin his uni chances too right?

Learning from booklets is rubbish and not how anyone can hope to get great grades. Let him go to a proper university (even if it means resitting a levels at a proper FE college where he gets proper time with the teacher), let him have face to face lessons and you might be eating your words.

Your attitude stinks.

AnUtterIdiot · 01/09/2017 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nuttynoo · 01/09/2017 14:44

This makes me so angry. I go to the OU but even I have face to face lecturers as often as I want, just need to be prepared to travel a bit if I want a supplemental lecture.

Screwtheroses · 01/09/2017 14:44

I found GCSEs fairly easy and got all A/Bs, struggled with A levels and just scraped enough points to get into my uni course and then went on to get 2:1 in a BSc (hons). A levels were by far the most difficult of all of my exams so I wouldn't necessarily judge the ability to do well at university on A level performance.

MadameJosephine · 01/09/2017 14:45

Sounds like a good plan to me. I think he's done very well under the circumstances actually and ultimately the decision is his, not yours.

Witsender · 01/09/2017 14:46

Seriously? What the others said. Despite no-one else prioritising his education he is still determined, show him some back up.

Learning on your own from a booklet is hugely hard, especially staying motivated. So well.done to him for plodding on with it.

A1Sharon · 01/09/2017 14:46

Oh my! Poor kid is right.Even your first sentence is so dismissive,
"DS wants to do pysics at university shock he wants to end up being a secondary school teacher."

Let him have a proper go at his A levels, and if it isn't too much trouble perhaps you could support him in any way you can?
Out of interest what would you like him to do now?

ILoveMillhousesDad · 01/09/2017 14:47

Wow. Well aren't you supportive!!!

upperlimit · 01/09/2017 14:47

Fucking hell. Really?

A1Sharon · 01/09/2017 14:47

And what exactly is his Dad's work?

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:50

ShockShockShock wow, no need to be mean... I am just looking out for what's best for his future.

His dad's job kept a roof over our heads (business owner and we frequently have to relocate due to new locations).

I am not dismissing what he has done at all, by uni is the next step up.

I think he should do an apprenticeship.

OP posts:
Dawnedlightly · 01/09/2017 14:50

What about a foundation access course? You should feel a bit responsible OP. Ensuring they have access to an education Hmm is pretty basic parenting.

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:51

He did have access to an education Hmm hence we paid for him to do it via distance learning.

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 01/09/2017 14:51

Why did you have to travel with your husband and prioritise it over your son's education?

bigsighall · 01/09/2017 14:52

I got a / b's in gcse. Failed 3 a levels (passed one!) got a 2:1 for my degree (ou)

A1Sharon · 01/09/2017 14:53

Your original post really could have not been more dismissive if you had tried? Honestly,OP, can you not see that?
You may not think you feel that way, but your post is very revealing...
I was just wondering whether his dads job had needed university qualifications?
Not meaning to be mean to you but your first post was quite mean about your son!

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:53

Because we couldn't afford to have 2 homes...

His GCSEs were all Bs. No As (I'm not saying that in a bad way before anyone jumps down my throat)

OP posts:
Callamia · 01/09/2017 14:53

An apprenticeship in what?
Do you want him earning a wage, or is this really something that will benefit him in the long-term?

So many students go to university with no clue about what they want to do; your son does, and I think that's worth exploring a bit more. A course with a foundation year might really work for him - or at least allow him to identify whether he's right to pursue a degree or not.

upperlimit · 01/09/2017 14:54

I think you should give him a shot at alevels via the usual route before you rain on his dreams?

Is 1988 your d.o.b?

MadameJosephine · 01/09/2017 14:54

I appreciate you felt you needed to move around but you still have a responsibility to provide your son with access to education and 'learning from booklets' sounds less than ideal to me OP

He sounds like he knows what he wants to do and has a plan to get there, you should be very proud of him and encourage him rather than Shock

RB68 · 01/09/2017 14:55

Lets start with you spell Physics with an h.

Even with self employed businesses it should be possible to stay in one place for 18mths even if it means you don't see much of OH as he is away alot. Thats how we do things.

Fundamentally he needs you assistance to facilitate learning and you have failed him so far. Alot depends on what A levels he has done so far. I think he has two options - go back for a yr and make it up to 3 or 4 A levels with some decent tuition should be doable. Do as he suggests. I think the apprenticeship thing isn't the right choice as it doesn't lead him to what he wants to do which is teach

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 14:55

Will he be in a fixed location for his Access diploma?

Is that separate to the degree course he wants to do?

I think he'd do well to look at a Foundation level pre-degree course (4 years, Foundation +3 year degree) where he can already have a stable environment.