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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS could only get 1 1/2 a levels, AIBU to think university isn't for him?

152 replies

Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:36

DS wants to do pysics at university Shock he wants to end up being a secondary school teacher.

He did his a levels via distance learning due to us moving around a lot for his dad's work.

He only managed to get 1 1/2 a levels; he says it's because he struggled with learning from the booklets.

Surely if you're going to uni, you need to be able to learn like that??

He plans on doing an access Diploma to then go on to uni.

AIBU to think this path isn't the right thing for him?

OP posts:
Nuttynoo · 01/09/2017 14:55

Did you or your dh go to uni? If not then you probably should let him decide - earning loads without a degree probably won't be possible for younger people as they compete for jobs on a global scale.

Ginorchoc · 01/09/2017 14:56

Agree with nuttynoo! He sound very unsupported. With onsite support and group work he should do well.

feathermucker · 01/09/2017 14:57

I think you need to be supportive as your attitude will not be helping him. He's doing an access course and seems, from what you've said, to have a good career plan in mind.

He's actually done really well to achieve what he has by distance learning.

Although it may have been a necessity, it's the moving round and less stability that's caused your current thinking.....and his results by default, so perhaps it's time you for behind him now as encouragement from you will help him.

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 14:58

No 1988 isn't my date of birth... I'd be 29 if so and definitely not old enough to have an adult child Grin

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 01/09/2017 14:58

wow, no need to be mean

Well There is some irony considering what your posting about your own son too.

He's done incredibly well, and no university is nothing like remote learning. As you clearly don't know anything about it, I'd let him call it. He seems to have a good plan and the support he will get during the access course and any degree at uni will help him fly.

And you supported him by paying for it? Well that was big of you.

Witsender · 01/09/2017 14:58

Firstly you need to acknowledge that your choices haven't helped him so far, instead of dismissing his very valid reasons for not have achieved what may have been his full potential.

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 14:59

He got all Bs in his GCSEs?
Most likely more than capable of doing a degree and then going on to teach.

What A levels did he do? What results?

What is 1 1/2 anyway? One A level and one AS?

ChelleDawg2020 · 01/09/2017 15:01

To be honest, a degree is probably beyond him. A-Levels are much harder than previous exams, but with a degree the difficulty steps up even further.

A degree requires the student to be able to learn from all manner of resources: lectures, practical (in subjects where this is relevant), and above all by researching and reading. You DS might not learn well by reading, but needs to develop this skill to be able to earn a degree.

It's up to him whether he wants to commit to a degree, to earn the qualifications he will need to be admitted, and to come up with a plan for funding his education. But on the face of it, it will be a huge waste of time and money, and you are justified in trying to discourage him.

Maybe an apprenticeship is a better way for him - learn and earn at the same time. He could take evening classes and then in a couple of years be better placed if he still wants to go to university.

LIZS · 01/09/2017 15:01

How old is he? What subjects does he have A/AS in?

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 15:01

The mean side of me is outraged that you've been unsupportive of his education and dismissive of his achievement.

The nicer side of me thinks that you're out of your depth, did not reach a high academic level yourself, and don't know the best way to help him.

Please, don't undersell him. That's a bright lad you have there to get all Bs at GSCEs and manage distance learning A levels on his own! Be proud of him.

Fortheloveofscience · 01/09/2017 15:02

My DH and my sister both have first class degrees from Russell Group uni's despite having tanked their A levels. I think an access course is a brilliant idea (it's what DH did) if he doesn't want to just re-take his A levels.

Please don't discourage him or write him off because doing distance learning A levels didn't suit him - doing them by distance learning is a completely different kettle of fish to doing them in school and a lot harder.

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 15:03

No I haven't ever been to uni and neither has DH, we have both done alright.

He's 18 and it's an AS and an a level. AS is maths and a level is physics.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 01/09/2017 15:04

But on the face of it, it will be a huge waste of time and money, and you are justified in trying to discourage him

What a shocking thing to write. Did it make you feel good? 😱

upperlimit · 01/09/2017 15:04

It just strikes me that the first post is so blasé as to be improbable and then alongside an improbable username...

Anyway, on the presumption that you're not a troll I can't believe you would do that to your child at such a crucial point of their education and Then have the brass neck to suggest he isn't up to university - it's a shitty thing to do.

Ellisandra · 01/09/2017 15:06

OK, this is like pulling teeth...!

So what grades did he get?

And did he start others and pull out because it was difficult to follow with the limited support of distance

Greyhorses · 01/09/2017 15:06

My DH got average GCSEs, rubbish A levels and managed to become a deputy head.

Encourage him to do A levels in a proper setting and he may be in with a chance, what a shame.

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 15:06

What's improbable about my username? 1988 is an important year for me... It's not my date of birth Hmm

OP posts:
jay55 · 01/09/2017 15:06

Motivation is more than half the battle at uni. He sounds pretty determined to have managed what he has.

RatherBeRiding · 01/09/2017 15:07

If he's bright enough and motivated enough, then an access Diploma is an excellent way of getting to Uni if your A-levels aren't good enough. It's how my daughter got onto her Nursing degree after dismal A-levels.

If being a science teacher is what he wants to do, then support and encourage him. It sounds like he's worked out a plan, and he's to be applauded for his determination. It's hardly his fault his education was disrupted.

Original poster
Pickford1988 · 01/09/2017 15:07

Yes he was also doing chemistry but couldn't do it because he didn't know how to follow the practical elements.

He got a D in the maths as and a c in the physics a levek

OP posts:
upperlimit · 01/09/2017 15:07

Fine.

It's still a shitty and unkind thing to do.

tiggytape · 01/09/2017 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluePancakes · 01/09/2017 15:10

The only thing I would say, is that a degree in physics uses a lot of maths, so if he could get an A-L in maths, or as others said, do an access course though I admit not knowing exactly what they involve it would really help him.

BubbleAnimal · 01/09/2017 15:11

Have you considered he may want to go to university to live away from home and have stability for three years? Not moving with you as well?

And you lost me with the "we didn't go to uni and done alright" post. Your son's education was hampered by you having to move for the work and money. He wants a career as a teacher in a shortage subject where he could shine and have stability. I don't blame him.

Support him. Maths and physics are hard a levels.

PerUnaStubbs · 01/09/2017 15:11

How can you do Chemistry by distance learning without someone to guide you through the practical elements? Genuine question from someone with an Arts background.

I don't think you can compare distance learning with a university experience. Yes, he'll have to structure most of his own research and time, but he'll have lectures and supervision, access to a library and crucially, be surrounded by other people in the same process. The education system needs teachers with a genuine desire to teach - he deserves encouragement.