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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think people shouldn't comment on baby's weight...

148 replies

Sjc145 · 01/09/2017 11:54

A friend of mine has recently had a baby. It was her first baby after suffering two miscarriages and she delivered baby naturally at home with a water birth at 40+6. I'm so pleased for her as she had the exact birth she wanted and such a long awaited for baby after losing her previous two.
Baby was born at 9lb 3oz.

However, on her birth announcement post today on facebook, comments have read like this...
"Congratulations! Wow, no wonder you had such a huge bump, that's a big baby!"
"OMG a 9 pounder!!! :O"
"My DD was born at 5lbs, its crazy to think your bundle is almost twice her size."
"Cor, 9 pounds. Well done you!!"

AIBU to think people shouldn't focus so much on baby's size and the fact that she/he is here happy and healthy? These are only a handful of the comments and my friend has mentioned that although she's grateful with the congratulations and everyone's well wishes, she can't help but feel upset that people are somehow instead focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby rather than that she has bought a human being into the world?! Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

OP posts:
Titanz · 01/09/2017 11:55

So why do people announce the size then?

You're just looking for things to be offended about fgs.

McTufty · 01/09/2017 11:56

Why do you see it as commenting negatively? I would probably just say congratulations myself and not mention it but is a big baby seen as a negative?

Really pleased for your friend, and sorry she's had comments which have upset her.

Nuttynoo · 01/09/2017 11:56

It's not a big deal but she has to get a spine. That comment comparing the 5 pounder with the 9 pounder was bitchy and should have been dealt with swiftly.

Titanz · 01/09/2017 11:56

Why was that comment bitchy?

user1471517900 · 01/09/2017 11:57

Are any of those comments negative? They're basically comments that offer extra praise for the fact the baby is bigger than average at birth.

None of them are suggesting there's something wrong with the baby for being 9lbs!

BackieJerkhart · 01/09/2017 11:57

everyone since time immemorial has commented on the weight of newborn babies. It's why people tell the weight, it's why people ask the weight. I don't understand it myself Grin but it seems to be a really Important piece of information to share/know when a baby is born. It just be commented on. It's the law. Wink

AnUtterIdiot · 01/09/2017 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dustarr73 · 01/09/2017 11:58

Well what else can they say.One baby looks like any other.And that's what the baby weighed.How can you get annoyed when they are just stating facts.

A 9lb is a good size for a first baby.

jaseyraex · 01/09/2017 11:58

People just comment like that because it's bigger than the average. It's not meant offensively or in a bad way. I think you're super sensitive if you're actually bothered by people commenting on it. Don't tell everyone the baby's weight if you don't want to hear about how big the baby is! I had a 10lb 6oz boy, he WAS huge and the comments I had were endless 😁

Laurah1979 · 01/09/2017 11:58

I don't think it sounds negative. I think people just aren't used to hearing about such big babies. My DS was nearly 10 pounds and I was bemused that people thought it would upset me hearing he was a bit chubby. I couldn't have cared less. Loved having a big chunky boy!

katiegg · 01/09/2017 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkHeart5911 · 01/09/2017 11:59

I don't think the example you've given is rude at all tbh Confused they said congratulations! And then made an innocent comment about it being crazy to think that baby is double the size hers was

Yes I'm always surprised when someone has a 9lb baby becuase I don't many people that have had a baby that big. Sorry if my surprise offends you

PerfumeIsAMessage · 01/09/2017 11:59

Other people's babies are so darn boring that it's a case of "now what can I say?"
And that is a big baby.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 01/09/2017 12:00

I don't see why she is taking it as negative? It is a big baby, I think more people comment as a 'Bloody hell well done you for getting that huge baby out of you' Grin

x2boys · 01/09/2017 12:00

Meh ds1 was 5lb 14 oz at 41 weeks no idea why he was so small ds2 was 8lb 4oz at 42 weeks both births were horrendous and drawn out the main thing is the baby is healthy surely .

PinkHeart5911 · 01/09/2017 12:00

Also how is it any different than when someone has a 6lb baby and someone says "oh his tiny"

People just want to think of something to say, so most comment on the babies size

Bluntness100 · 01/09/2017 12:00

Why is this negative? Clearly the implication is a larger baby is harder to deliver naturally and to carry than a smaller one, so well done to the mum. I also don't see how the 5lb comment is bitchy. I read it as the writer thought hers was big enough and can't imagine how much harder it would be with a baby twice the size.

Honestly the pair of you are just looking for stuff to be offended about.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/09/2017 12:02

It isn't rude.
It is a big baby
DD was less than 6lb and I was a little envious of mums with bigger babies.

RuggerHug · 01/09/2017 12:03

Tell her the only response to 'big baby' is 'small turkey though'.
hopes people get the reference and I don't seem mad

GriswaldFamilyVacation · 01/09/2017 12:05

So why do people announce the size then?
Exactly!

And none of those comments were rude. Op your friend's babies were smaller than all three of mine, I got similar comments from friends and all they meant was "Damn, well done". Because thats fucking hard work making a giant human.

Before I had my own I remember a friend of a friend saying she'd just had a ten pounder... I remember squeezing my legs together and thinking 'don't mess with her'. It's a point of pride for me.

pigsDOfly · 01/09/2017 12:06

How was the 5lb/9lb remark bitchy?

Surely most people commenting on the weight of a new baby are doing it in a positive way amid the congratulations; making happy conversation rather than any meaningful judgment or being bitchy about it.

People almost always mention the baby's weight, if they don't want anyone to comment on it don't mention it.

Think you're looking for things to be upset about tbh.

GriswaldFamilyVacation · 01/09/2017 12:06

I wouldn't comment on a very tiny baby though as the parents often have additional worries.

LaurieMarlow · 01/09/2017 12:08

Tell her the only response to 'big baby' is 'small turkey though'

Best line ever Grin

OP, you're being slightly ridiculous. It's just something to say. There's so little to go on with newborns, weight is the obvious thing to comment on.

lalaloopyhead · 01/09/2017 12:09

Another saying that these comments are not negative at all. Everyone comments on weight, especially if it is a bigger than average baby - its surely meant more as an extra well done??

I really don't understand why you and your friend might be offended by this.

jay55 · 01/09/2017 12:10

People are clearly in awe that she pushed out a whopper. They are celebrating not being bitchy.

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