To think people shouldn't comment on baby's weight...

[Sjc145]

A friend of mine has recently had a baby. It was her first baby after suffering two miscarriages and she delivered baby naturally at home with a water birth at 40+6. I'm so pleased for her as she had the exact birth she wanted and such a long awaited for baby after losing her previous two.
Baby was born at 9lb 3oz.

However, on her birth announcement post today on facebook, comments have read like this...
"Congratulations! Wow, no wonder you had such a huge bump, that's a big baby!"
"OMG a 9 pounder!!! :O"
"My DD was born at 5lbs, its crazy to think your bundle is almost twice her size."
"Cor, 9 pounds. Well done you!!"

AIBU to think people shouldn't focus so much on baby's size and the fact that she/he is here happy and healthy? These are only a handful of the comments and my friend has mentioned that although she's grateful with the congratulations and everyone's well wishes, she can't help but feel upset that people are somehow instead focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby rather than that she has bought a human being into the world?! Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

It's one of those things you say when being told someone has given birth ie what did you have ,what did they weigh and what are you calling them and fwiw my tiny 5lb 14 oz baby is now the tallest in his class he's just going into yr six and my 8lb 4 oz baby is below average in size and weight.

Those comments don't sound negative to me anyway, but I can see that she (in the turbulent emotional time after childbirth) may feel the focus on the weight is taking the shine off.

People feel they have to say something, a whole load of comments that just say 'congratulations' makes it look like no-one has put any thought into it, so they pick something, anything, to make small talk about.

I got a lot of comments (nice ones) about DD's name, since there wasn't much remarkable about her birth.

Has your friend got issues around her weight? She knows people don't see newborns as "fat" right?

It seems as though people are forgetting that you can no longer say ANYTHING to ANYONE without it causing offence! Soon the only appropriate response to any kind of news will be silence with a pokerface.

I have absolutely no clue, as to what the issue is here??!

I can understand why a post partum hormonal mess might be stressed but I'm confused why the op sees them as negative and hasn't explained that it was people being nice?

YABU, people comment on big babies, small babies, hungry babies, sleepy babies, awake babies. That's just the way it is.

My last baby was 5kg. A friend of DH's said to me "you must have a bucket fanny after delivering that". Now THAT'S offensive.

It's the femal equivalent of this.

Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

At home, with nothing more than g&a? Er, yes. She deserves a fucking medal!

YABU and if your friend really minds these comments she has issues.

You are being a bit U, though I do understand given your friend's losses that you are all a bit on edge. But honestly, it's not negative. It's just a fact. 9lb 3 is a big baby. The average is 7lb 7oz and 9lb 3 is more than this. Water is also wet. It might rain later.

People get into a tizzy about this stuff on MN a lot: I have dyed my hair a different colour. People shouldn't comment on my hair colour AIBU?

I have dressed my children in matching clown suits and trained them to drive a miniature car while doing acrobatics. My toxic MIL will not stop commenting AIBU!

It's just something to say.No offence is intended.
My 4th d's was 9 lb 13.He was my bigger.I was huge though.

focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby

None of the comments about the baby's weight you've quoted are even remotely negative!

Your friend announced her baby's birth weight, which almost everyone does. People made cheerful observations about that in the same way that people make cheerful observations like 'Wow, that's a full head of hair for a newborn!' or 'Oh, she really looks like her dad!' or 'Sounds like you had a really quick labour - lucky you!' or 'My DC used to sleep in that position too'. Nobody has said anything negative at all. People are interested in babies and in sharing their experiences. If people have a very tiny baby everyone says 'Isn't he tiny! He's half the size that mine was!' but nobody means that as an insult because nobody judges a baby on its weight.

If you think that any mention of a baby being 9lb is intrinsically negative, that actually suggests that you are the one who sees a heavier baby as a bad thing, not them.

Is there a reason you are hyper-sensitive about people discussing weight?

My last baby was 5kg. A friend of DH's said to me "you must have a bucket fanny after delivering that". Now THAT'S offensive.

That's disgusting! What did you say?

Sorry but it sounds like your looking for something to be offended by. And if you think that's offensive - your friend hasn't seen anything yet. Good luck!

Our new DGS was 6lb 3oz, DD was bloody glad he wasn't 10 6 like his uncle. Perfectly formed though, as you can see from the pics on my thread in here.

You are your friend need to get a grip to honest.

There is nothing offensive about those comments.

Can anybody say anything nowadays without causing offence?

I agree with everyone else - those comments aren't negative, they're congratulatory.

I walked around like a prize fighter when I wasn't walking like John Wayne after delivering dc3 10.1 on gas and air.

I still work it in to conversation wherever I can.

I want a medal.

How are the comments negative?

5kg
Wow!

If your friends chooses to take comments on her baby's weight as being negative, then of course she will feel upset. But she's being a dafty. The weight of a newborn is one of the things people announce and ask about and comment on. 9lb is a big baby, just as 6lb is a small baby: people will comment on it. Let's face it, there's not a whole lot else to say about a newborn.

In the nicest possible way, you and your friend need to get a grip. My DS1 was 2lb 3. I'm currently 35 weeks and at 33 weeks DS2 was estimated at 6lb 2 with a head on the 98th percentile. I'm expecting a lot of comments on size when he arrives. What else should people say? Babies don't really do much!

To be honest, if your friend minded about comments on the baby's weight, she shouldn't have told anyone. If you give people information, you can't complain if they comment on it.

Griswald 🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖