To think people shouldn't comment on baby's weight...

[Sjc145]

A friend of mine has recently had a baby. It was her first baby after suffering two miscarriages and she delivered baby naturally at home with a water birth at 40+6. I'm so pleased for her as she had the exact birth she wanted and such a long awaited for baby after losing her previous two.
Baby was born at 9lb 3oz.

However, on her birth announcement post today on facebook, comments have read like this...
"Congratulations! Wow, no wonder you had such a huge bump, that's a big baby!"
"OMG a 9 pounder!!! :O"
"My DD was born at 5lbs, its crazy to think your bundle is almost twice her size."
"Cor, 9 pounds. Well done you!!"

AIBU to think people shouldn't focus so much on baby's size and the fact that she/he is here happy and healthy? These are only a handful of the comments and my friend has mentioned that although she's grateful with the congratulations and everyone's well wishes, she can't help but feel upset that people are somehow instead focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby rather than that she has bought a human being into the world?! Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

reallybadidea Or you could have said to your DH's mate, "Maybe, but mine will never be as big a cunt fanny as you!" #thingsyouonlythinktoolate

My cousin's wife birthed a thirteen pounder, but they're both giants.

When I had a 9+lb baby, I got comments - just from fellow mums saying OMG, poor you etc. I don't think it's negative, just chat amongst those who have been there done that. We all know about each other's stitches, tears, epidurals that didn't work and the MW who got a face full of amniotic fluid.

It's what people say though! I do it every time I watch One Born Every Minute. There was a 9lb one last night (a repeat I think), he was 9lb something and he looked it too. I just think 'ouch' when I see those sizes.

It's just a thing people say. You and your friend sound like the kinds of people who like to find something to get offended by. There was a woman on here a few weeks ago who was all offended because people kept saying 'double trouble' when they found out she was expecting twins, and she wanted them to say something more profound about her offspring.

The reason people need a 'thing' to say, and the reason they pick weight, is because to everyone other than parents and immediate family, babies are super boring and there's literally nothing else to say. They all look like tiny old men. What else do you comment on apart from weight and hair? There's nothing else to differentiate them.

I think you are reading too much into this as pps said. I am similarly puzzled as to why weight is so important, but I would innocently congratulate someone on similar weight baby as I think bloody well done for giving birth to a big baby! I had a teensy 6lber, got the opposite comments. Now at 17 months he's well over the 91st centile for weight and height and people comment how big he is! Its just something to say about babies . I wouldn't ever think to be offended either way, people are purely stating facts!

If you think the word 'big' is insulting or negative when applied to a baby, you are the one with the obsession with weight and body image, not the people who are simply admiring your lovely healthy baby. Jeez.

Exactly!

Mamabaear, your four month old is not taking on any of the comments. Hopefully as you're 'no longer keeping quiet' your friends will chalk it up to pfbitus, but you risk alienating people by getting the hump when they compliment your objectively boring and fairly averaged sized baby.

I had an 11lb 8oz baby.....on April Fools Day!! The lady in the room next to me had a five pounder and throughout the day midwifes kept popping in just to see the difference between them!
I've never thought about weight being a negative thing to talk about, unless it's in kilos because I never know what that is in pounds!

I'm genuinely enjoying the way this thread has turned into a sort of baby weight auction.

"Any advance on 11lb 8oz, ladies? Do I hear 12lb? No? Then SOLD to the truly heroic lady who managed to birth a baby the size of a toddler on April Fool's Day!" (bangs gavel)

On a serious note, people who get offended when someone comments on their baby being bigger really might want to remember that it wasn't actually that long ago that birth weights were routinely low and the infant mortality rate was high. That's why bigger babies are celebrated as 'bonny' and chubby cheeks and plump little limbs are praised - we see them as healthy and thriving. So maybe remember that and think how lucky you are rather than whinging that people comment on your happily thriving not-so-little one.

People are not being critical, in fact the opposite i'd say. My friend had a 9lb something baby, I was in awe. All mine were between 6 and 7lb and they were bloody hard enough(I still want a medal too though!)

Maybe she is feeling a little sensitive because her baby is bigger than average and her hormones are raging all over the place? And lets face it, after having a baby everything is so overwhelming and we are not at our most logical. After my second a friend said something like 'once you get home, have a lovely long bath and get your hair done, you'll feel much better'. I took that as a major insult that I looked like shit (which I probably did) but it certainly wasn't meant like that!

It sounds like you've got a chip on your shoulder about it.

I felt having a big baby was somehow a positive. I would have those kind of big baby comments as compliments. A big, bouncing, healthy baby! I think it's probably safer not to ever comment on anything!

Have a baby born with a disability and then your friend will find out what comments are hard to deal with.

Yep another OP who fucks off when faced with a unanimous 'yes you are making a mountain out of a mole hill'.

Count me in for being insensitive and bitchy-

I've definitely referred to my 9 month old niece's adorable baby thighs as chubby and delicious!

This is going to be outing if anyone ever reads this but here goes. My 11lb 9oz baby was nicknamed "Gigantor" and DB even had the cartoon character tattooed on his back in homage.

they're just looking for things to say. babies dont have many distinguishing features.

OP no offence but you need to get a life

11lb 9 Pastys?!?

Ding ding polly we have ourselves a winner someone get that lady a chair

Ha Ha lol @GriswaldFamilyVacation I didn't feel like a winner at the time

Could you even walk the last trimester?

Ds was 10.1 and every step was like through quick sand. Dh had the the massive balls nerve to say he was giving him an arm ache while he was holding after he was born Only ever said it once...

I wonder if people comment on weight because sometimes it's the only thing they don't know about the baby until it's born. It's not unusual to know in advance if mum is having a boy or girl, and often the name is given in advance too. So the 'surprise' ( not sure that's the right word) element of the baby isn't there, just the weight. Though I remember when I had DS1 there was a sweepstake for the weight in the staffroom, I'd forgotten that till now.

Thing is they often average out anyway. To look at my youngest now (he's nearly ten) you wouldn't think he'd been bigger than average at birth. His friend is the same, he was a twelve something pounder, but now they're the same height and not even near being the biggest/tallest kids in their class.

Patsys bows down

I couldn't do anything in the last trimester. I had SPD (unsurprisingly) and it was torture. I was estimated to be carrying a 7lb as there was lots of water.

On a serious note, people who get offended when someone comments on their baby being bigger really might want to remember that it wasn't actually that long ago that birth weights were routinely low and the infant mortality rate was high. That's why bigger babies are celebrated as 'bonny' and chubby cheeks and plump little limbs are praised - we see them as healthy and thriving. So maybe remember that and think how lucky you are rather than whinging that people comment on your happily thriving not-so-little one.

Well said, I completely agree.

Yes you are BU. People have always talked about babies' weights! A good healthy weight is a positive thing and that's why people talk about it surely.

Yabu. There is an excuse for your friend going all pfb over baby comments but you really need to cop on Op. I would assume the interest in a baby's birth weight is because if a baby is born below a certain weight (5lbs?) they need to stay in hospital for extra care and if they are really tiny they need to go into an incubator. Years ago there wasn't much help available for tiny babies so a high birth weight was seen as something to celebrate, the obsession with weight probably stems from that and as pp said, other than size most babies look pretty much the same.