To think people shouldn't comment on baby's weight...

[Sjc145]

A friend of mine has recently had a baby. It was her first baby after suffering two miscarriages and she delivered baby naturally at home with a water birth at 40+6. I'm so pleased for her as she had the exact birth she wanted and such a long awaited for baby after losing her previous two.
Baby was born at 9lb 3oz.

However, on her birth announcement post today on facebook, comments have read like this...
"Congratulations! Wow, no wonder you had such a huge bump, that's a big baby!"
"OMG a 9 pounder!!! :O"
"My DD was born at 5lbs, its crazy to think your bundle is almost twice her size."
"Cor, 9 pounds. Well done you!!"

AIBU to think people shouldn't focus so much on baby's size and the fact that she/he is here happy and healthy? These are only a handful of the comments and my friend has mentioned that although she's grateful with the congratulations and everyone's well wishes, she can't help but feel upset that people are somehow instead focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby rather than that she has bought a human being into the world?! Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

Zoloh

I don't see these comments as negative (9lbs1 baby here, I can also still quote his head circumference if anyone is interested ). Hopefully your friend is just tired and a bit over-sensitive but do stay in touch with her in case this is more than a bit of baby blues.

My DS (now 4 months) was 9lb 1oz. I had some comments on his weight when we announced it and just after he was born the midwife exclaimed "Where were you hiding THAT?!" as my bump wasn't very big even though he was 15 days late I didn't find it offensive, more of a "well done for managing to carry a big baby". I'm actually oddly proud that he is currently 96th percentile for height and weight, though he does look a lot older than he is. I wouldn't worry what people have said to your friend. Just be happy that she has a happy healthy baby.

Thanks orangebird

But what is wrong with that? It's not like they are saying anything negative. No different to commenting on s baby's hair.

I wonder how she coped with the constant commentary while pregnant: one minute you get "that's a nice neat bump" the next "ha ha you're massive"! People just feel the need to say something it's rarely malicious!

I have no idea why you think it is a bad thing to comment on a baby being big. There is very little to say about a newborn! If you share information like the weight you can't be offended when people comment on it innocently!

My DFriend has had 2 babies, one 10 pounds 2 and one 10 pounds 9. I've only ever commented to her out of sheer admiration. Her last baby had very serious heart problems so it was even more great that he was a good size.
My friends 'babies' are now slim, tall athletic teens without a scrap of fat on them.

Do you think that people's comments somehow refer to the babies being obese or something? I agree that people have always commented on a baby's weight. If the baby was tiny some people may have said something like "what a gorgeous little tiny thing!" or even a 'scrap' - all meant in an affectionate way.

Pleasure Griswald! My ds was only 7lb 9 and I thought I was going to die 😂😂

We'll add that to the list of things "not to be mentioned then, will we"? Don't comment on babies weight, don't comment on babies sex, don't comment on their name, their clothes. Don't look at the baby unless invited to, don't talk to the mother, and for fucks sake never ever touch it, even the air around it.
But also, don't forget, if you don't do those things you are a baby hater who is horrible and unsupportive to women/mothers.

Ok then.

Imagine saying "only" a 7lb 9 pound bowling ball squeezed through 9cms though!

I had 9lb daughter- no pain relief!
Go me...
Seriously, the only reason people talk about weight is because there isn't really anything else to chat about!

If men gave birth they'd walk around with badges that said the weight and how many stitches they got.

Well said GrandOleJukeofYork. It's utterly ridiculous how easily offended people are these days.

DS1 was 10lbs but it was all length, so I did get lots of shocked faces especially as I am so short but it was no different to my 7lb shorter DD. I think if I took on board the huge list of what not to say I would be left with "nice" until someone declares that as passive aggressive.

I know it's because there wasn't a pain relief option at the time but my DGM gave birth to a 12lb baby and then had 3 more. Now that still gets comments on size!!

Wouldn't everyone rather a big baby than a skinny one? (my son fell from 75th centile to 2nd so I know I'd prefer a lovely healthy baby!). 9lb isn't THAT big anyway. It's not like newborns can be obese - maybe very rarely but I mean, it's hardly a dig towards the parents. It's just something to say!

I don't think it sounds negative at all! I take it as people are impressed that she managed to heave all that baby around and get it out!!

I'd comment with a 'what a corker' type message, for sure. I honestly think it's more of an impressed than negative comment. My son was 9.4 and I adored that he was so big! My friend had a 10+pounder and I was quite jealous to be honest! Seriously, don't take it to heart, no one is being unkind. Big babies are awesome. (As are all babies😉)

Good grief . The professionally Offended Society in all its glory. I despair.

When I was born, my mum had loads of messages saying how big I was - 35 weeks and 6Ib 6oz. Mum was induced because I decided to break her waters and then stay where I was I was also a difficult pregnancy, so people would say 'Gosh, she's big, bet you're glad she's out after the pregnancy you had' - I was a proper nuisance baby, my poor mum vomited daily, was quite poorly, spent a lot of time in hospital, she had gas and air and stitches which was also commented on! - No offense taken here (I'm a dream now)

Then my sister was born - 36 weeks at 8Ib 4oz. Even the midwives commented on her weight. Simple pregnancy, no stitches, birthed alone with no pain relief. All was commented on, but we didn't mind. She was a big baby, some people didn't want to hold her because they thought she'd be too heavy

I doubt anyone remembers/cares about our weight or the comments made now! Congratulations to your friend

Griswald I wish that I'd said something witty and cutting about the size of his knob but unfortunately I just blushed and stammered that it was fine

I've had an over 9 pounder and a 3 pounder! People comment on weight. More with a big baby than a tiny prem one, so I think it's actually meant as a bit of a compliment. It's not worth worrying.

YABU- everyone always comments on the weight.

Mine was 6lb, premature with barely a scrap of fat on him, and had low blood sugars as a result. I used to proudly tell people how much weight he'd gained every time we went to baby clinic. Silly old me boasting about how fat he was getting, eh? I thought I was proud of him growing stronger and catching up.

Big babies are praised as healthy babies. It's a compliment to the mother that her baby is big and strong and well-nourished, it's a throwback to the days before tube-feeding, when smaller weaker babies like mine would have died in the first couple of days after birth. Nobody is saying that the baby is too fat - babies are meant to have those fat reserves so they can cope with some weight loss in the first few days while milk is coming in.