To think people shouldn't comment on baby's weight...

[Sjc145]

A friend of mine has recently had a baby. It was her first baby after suffering two miscarriages and she delivered baby naturally at home with a water birth at 40+6. I'm so pleased for her as she had the exact birth she wanted and such a long awaited for baby after losing her previous two.
Baby was born at 9lb 3oz.

However, on her birth announcement post today on facebook, comments have read like this...
"Congratulations! Wow, no wonder you had such a huge bump, that's a big baby!"
"OMG a 9 pounder!!! :O"
"My DD was born at 5lbs, its crazy to think your bundle is almost twice her size."
"Cor, 9 pounds. Well done you!!"

AIBU to think people shouldn't focus so much on baby's size and the fact that she/he is here happy and healthy? These are only a handful of the comments and my friend has mentioned that although she's grateful with the congratulations and everyone's well wishes, she can't help but feel upset that people are somehow instead focusing negatively on the fact she has had a big baby rather than that she has bought a human being into the world?! Is having a 9lb baby really that much of a big deal?

Why are you/she seeing those comments as negative?

My babies were 9lb4 and 10lb5. DS1's head was only just on the charts, DS2 was thankfully more proportional in the head department and just long and solid. I was lucky enough to be able to give birth to both of them with just G&A.

It is hard work carrying and gestating large babies and can be quite hard work giving birth to them too. Especially when their heads are frigging enormous

She is getting positive, admiring, congratulatory comments for doing what she did with a baby bigger than most.

I got those comments too and I took them in that spirit. I can't see what's remotely negative about them.

(Griswald and others, can we share the medals?)

I had a 9lb 8 baby. I am petite. Of course everyone commented on it, including me, because it was unexpected. I thought it great he was big once I got over the emcs

My ds was big and I got no end of comments about weight but I always thought they were positive! People do tend to praise a big weight for some reason.

Your friend should probably be prepared to be offended in the coming months as my baby continued to be very big and I got many, many comments about his size and chubbiness, usually from complete strangers.

My baby was 10.8, imagine the comments i get! I don't mind though

My DD was 10lb 6 I was have been amazed if people didn't comment on her size she was bloody massive! I don't see them as negative, if someone says it in a bitchy way I do an equally bitchy yes I am amazing aren't I smile

She should try having an 11lb+ baby then...!!!!!

But that is a big baby. It's just a fact. No-one but you is taking it as negative comments.

I had a 2 pounder and an 8 pounder. The big one was huge in comparison.

Oh, I totally agree with you. My ds was 2 wks late. He was 8lb 11oz. He has been on the 91st centile since birth. As a result, people always comment oh he's big, isn't he. (He's 4 months old) and my reply is, no he's long, he's not BIG. It pisses me right off. Not wonder there are so many kids with eating disorders when society is obsessed with weight from the min kids are born. Plus people seem to think they can say what they like about babies.Someone I know had a baby a few months after me and her baby was 5lb. I had a comment made to me that her baby was "about the size of your baby's leg". I used to bite my tongue, but I don't anymore. I won't have my son growing up thinking he is somehow huge or abnormal because people can't keep their flipping opinions to themselves. Tell your friend to enjoy her wee one, congratulations to her, hope both she & baby are well 😊

My friend had a 9lb + baby and she's under 5ft and petite. I was first on her Facebook telling her she deserved a medal. After she slightly embarrassed said it was a c-section I said 2 medals. A childless friend asked why a big baby was more impressive (not much logical thinking) but even she said surely a big baby is hale and hearty.
My ds was 7lb exactly and that got lots of praise, getting him exactly 7 lb, as though I had controlled. I took that praise and thought myself the perfect mother (for 24hrs post birth)

My baby was a preemie and was 3lbs. He's 4 months old now and only just 9lbs and I love seeing him full out. As he was so tiny (3lbs9oz when he came home) I've had A LOT of comments about his size. I don't get offended though, I was proud of him at a scrawny 3lb and I'm proud of him now at a chunky 9lb

People comment on big babies because they are likely harder and more painful to push out (I had emergency section so I don't know for sure) and so it's said in joking way. Your friend is being over sensitive and completely unreasonable. People deliver new humans into the world every minute of the day so it's not the big event for others that it is for the parents/family. The fact people have commented at all should be enough.

I won't have my son growing up thinking he is somehow huge or abnormal because people can't keep their flipping opinions to themselves.

But he is taller than average, and he is likely to remain taller than average.

DS1 is now nearly six and right at the bottom of of healthy BMI but still above the 50th centile for weight because he is a total beanpole. People comment on his height because he is taller than average and in particular next to his Reception class he stands out (particularly as he is also one of the oldest).

When he was a baby, people commented on his size (and he was big despite being quite scrawny - big is not synonymous with 'fat'). Unless a baby is wildly out of proportion, a 9lb baby is going be bigger in all directions that a 6lb baby to a degree that is quite surprising when you put them side by side. DS2 looked like a different species from my mate's dinky wee 6lber.

They're babies. When they're born, there are very few differentiating characteristics - name and weight, that's about it. No one is saying one weight is better than another. But after a horrible pregnancy with DS2, as well as carrying him ('oh look, he's measuring full term' at 32 week scan), his enormous placenta and monster cord ('that's the longest one I've ever seen. Do you mind if I show some other midwives?'), as well as the complicated jigsaw that was sewing me back together (took longer than I was in the room before he was born) I had no objections at all to people commenting positively on his size, which is objectively large, and the effort it took to make him.

But that doesn't even make any sense, Mamabear79.

Nobody is slagging off your son. Honestly. There is literally no social disbenefit to being a tall man. Taller men earn more money, win more elections, have more sexual partners, and so on and so forth. It's like saying WHY will these people not stop commenting on how incredibly handsome and rich and intelligent my children are. Those bastards!

It's because people can't say 'oh and what does little Laurence think about Brexit?'

There is literally nothing else to comment on. There's nothing negative about it.

Dd was 9 15. I had similar comments about her weight but did not sèe it as criticism. She was born healthy and robust and we were very grateful for that. Yes there are 5lb babies but that's unusually light and sometimes a cause of concern if the baby is prem.

Oh my god! Just when I thought there was nothing left that someone hadn't been offended over.
Are we talking fat shaming a baby here now. This world gets more ridiculous by the minute.

Oh, I totally agree with you. My ds was 2 wks late. He was 8lb 11oz. He has been on the 91st centile since birth. As a result, people always comment oh he's big, isn't he. (He's 4 months old) and my reply is, no he's long, he's not BIG. It pisses me right off. Not wonder there are so many kids with eating disorders when society is obsessed with weight from the min kids are born.

If you think the word 'big' is insulting or negative when applied to a baby, you are the one with the obsession with weight and body image, not the people who are simply admiring your lovely healthy baby. Jeez.

There are only a limited list of possible things to talk about in respect of a new baby - weight, sex, name, how the birth was (if closer to the family), how they are finding it with new baby.

My 4'11" nan gave birth (vb, no assistance) to my 11 lb 4oz uncle in 1938. God knows what the comments to her were like afterwards!

Well for what it's worth I know what you mean. Let me say first of all that I think all babies are equally beautiful, but generally small is associated with cute. People say thinks like "oh look at his teeny tiny little fingers" I mean they're just fingers, but it's as though being small is a virtue in itself. Also I think as adults we can be sensitive about weight, being told you are 'heavy' as an adult or child isn't generally considered a compliment.
I understand why she is fed up

gummybear i had to laugh and op people are always interested in a babies birth weight. I have 4 dc, smallest weighed 9lb, heaviest weighed 11.6lbs, strangely enough people were speechless when i told them his birth weight and then did a lovely goldfish impression when i also mentioned that he was delivered at 38 weeks. If your getting your knickers in a twist about this heaven help you if babies not meeting milestones at baby group!

I would interpret it as being the opposite Noroutine.

I think people are impressed with a big baby, partly because they think it was probably a mission for the mother to push it out, and partly because large is generally seen as 'big and strong', even if it's not the case.

Definitely can see it being meant negatively in any way.

*can't see it being meant negatively

The comments are positive, and are a 'well done' to the mum for giving birth to a larger-than-average baby (which is presumed to be more eye-watering than giving birth to a small baby).

They aren't negative comments about the baby's weight at all.