Working with a paedophile

[Tothemoonandbackagain]

I'm really really struggling!
I can't go into too much detail but I'm finding this incredibly hard to cope with.
Now I'm very professional in my role and I have always taken a non judgmental attitude whilst at work but this I'm finding hard.
I have dealt with and worked with extremely challenging people from the most vulnerable to the most dangerous.
But I can't connect with this person even though I'm trying my hardest.
I asked my boss if it was possible to avoid support for this person and he basically called me weak!! AIBU am I being overly sensitive!

moon I'm going to say no, you don't/shouldn't try to get over it. Your gut is sending alarm signals for a reason. You know this. He may just be playing head games with you for kicks. He may be doing this as you are meant to be getting under his skin / in his head and he wants to be in control.

Have you read details of his offences? I would be concerned regarding psychological harm inflicted as well as sexual abuse, especially signs of sadism. I would also be sceptical about the assessed lack of risk to adult women if he is causing you to feel frightened.

He may also be in the early stages of working out how to groom you. If you are in a custodial setting providing therapy, he will see you as a 'soft touch' to be exploited.

If you're just doing offence related work, it's one thing as that's time limited to the programme but any other work, I would say his readiness for therapy and basic suitability is questionable.

Wife supporting him is a red herring. He's in her head, even from incarceration so I would put that in the risk column not the positives...

I think it's perfectly normal for a (presumably to be in your profession) empathetic person to feel this way when interacting with someone who sounds like he displays psychopathic traits. I imagine you have psychological training but perhaps a bit of focused support on dealing with clients with (potentially) this disorder could help you feel more comfortable.

He has a few support workers who of course give him support and high level of care. Laundry. Cleaning room. Talk time etc.
He has been described as a gentleman and charming polite.
But of course they have no knowledge of his crimes or history only that he is a sex offender.

I think he is pushing your boundaries. He is doing it on purposes and knows it. He is pressing all the buttons he can and gets a kick out of putting you in a defensive position (eg when he knows answers to his questions by a lie and he just smirks).

That's what you are feeling and why you are so uncomfortable.

I wouldn't try and do my best job here, support him etc etc (whatever your job is) but would put your safety as a priority. Detach as much as you can, ignore personal questions and put up boundaries. VERY high.

And YY to leaning post as well.

OP it sounds as though you're probably dealing with a psychopath and your subconscious is picking up on this. Even very highly qualified and experienced professionals struggle to deal with these types of individual.

The reaction you're having is totally understandable. It's your mind's way of protecting you.

And I would listen to your mind/instinct that is trying its best to protect you.

DONT let yu itself be distracted by the fact he is a paedophile or whatever. That's not the issue here.