Hotel restaurant and iPads etc

[mckenzie]

We are on holiday and staying in a hotel with breakfast included.
Settle nicely at a table this morning, in the shade, over lookimgbthe gardens, watching the birds on the ledge. A family then take the table next to us.

The older child (I'm guessing age 5) is given an iPad and starts playing a game with noice so we can hear ping and pong and clapping and other computer type noises.
The younger child (I'm guessing 18 months) has a phone propped up in front of her and is watching a video of some sort so we can hear high pitched animated voices and weird music.

AIBU to expect the family to think of others and provide said children with headphones?

So what about the kids who can't colour, converse or tell jokes? Should they be locked away out of sight?

What about the actual fact that the very very vast majority of people who are using ipads in restaurants are not those kids?

I've been on planes with feckin noisy iPads . Turn the feckers down or get headphones !! My son is non verbal And has sn . He knows the rules!!!, no excuse!!

I've only read the first page and you lot have made my fucking blood boil!! "Parent your child" ???? Shall we hark back to Victoria; seen but not heard? My little boy is disabled. He has a brain condition which causes seizures. He CAN'T wear headphones (He's 7yo). We do turn the volume down but do you have ANY idea how long it seems to him waiting for his dinner? Or should we just lock him away and never go out? Some of you sound like you need to realise that children NEED to be children!

Hear hear @leighb23 ! I say fairly similar in my posts, I reckon some of these ppl want our kids locked in institutes and not be permitted in society!

You are not alone Hun xxx

Utterly baffled and depressed by this. A family can't sit at a table to eat without wiring their very small children into devices? How sad. Could understand if it was grumpy teenagers. But still would not allow it at a meal time. And on holiday!

Nobody is saying "lock your children away" ffs! How did parents of SEN kids manage their children pre- wifi! Do you really think that these parents kept their kids locked up and never had a meal out??

I reckon some of these ppl want our kids locked in institutes and not be permitted in society!

I reckon you're being ridiculous.

I'd expect the external table area to be noisy. If I wanted a quiet table, I'd choose one inside.

Piglet that is the general attitude. As a SN parent I bloody look forward to an occasional meal out. We dine early so it tends to be families who are out too. But; hey this is fucking radical - if you don't want to be in a restaurant with noisy, tablet-toting-tots then either go to a dearer restaurant which would generally preclude families from visiting or go later! Parents are allowed to chill out too ya know.
Ps cheers flowergirl xxx

Whyisitsodifficult the reality is that not so long ago many severely disabled children and adults didn't go out much. And for those that did the experience would have been very stressful. Why object to something that enables vunerable people to not suffer?

@whyisitsodifficult actually historically sn ppl WERE locked in institutes. I even had a social worker once suggest it of my eldest! (For the benefit of the whole family) ofc clearly I declined. Those that stayed with families were hidden away as embarrassing dirty secrets.

We don't actually go out often, so mostly we ARE locked away from you all so @Pigletwaspoohsfriend can rejoice at this! I am not being ridiculous but yes, I am flashing history in pls faces because it's judging like this that needs to be addressed to make it the norm that people are accepted. It's really not so far back that my 'ridiculous' and 'outrageous' statement was the expected normal.

It's nothing other than lazy parenting.

I feel for the old lady who felt obliged to remove her hearing aid.

Where have I said that the child's need / want to use devices are more important? Please enlighten me?

user147, you present the case as us all having to be more tolerant of the parent who is letting his/her kids annoy other people, as that parent may be at the end of their tether. You show no consideration at all that other people may also be at the end of their tethers, and that the noise and disruption from a stranger's kids may be the last thing they can cope with, when all they want is a quiet coffee and half an hour to recharge.

If you go "eh, the parent may need it" then you aren't demonstrating that consideration goes both ways.

We do turn the volume down but do you have ANY idea how long it seems to him waiting for his dinner? Or should we just lock him away and never go out?

Here's a thought, leighb - you could try talking to him. (But no, of course it's easier to inconvenience other people than inconvenience yourself.)

But; hey this is fucking radical - if you don't want to be in a restaurant with noisy, tablet-toting-tots then either go to a dearer restaurant which would generally preclude families from visiting or go later!

If you genuinely think either eating at a more expensive place precludes bad behaviour from parents who plonk their kids in front of noisy devices rather than talking to them, you are sadly mistaken.

And going to a more expensive place, or eating later (when you have to pay a babysitter) - are you seriously saying only the well-off have the right to enjoy a meal in a cafe without being annoyed by parents behaving badly?

Too many judgemental people in the world you have no idea what is going on in that particular family.

Bearlover, you have no idea what is going on with other people's families. Other people may be noise-sensitive, or be exhausted, or have saved up for a year to have a lovely break, only to have it ruined by Peppa Bloody Pig following them wherever they go. You are the one judging other people without knowing anything about their lives. Have some consideration for them.

@archeryannie er... read up a little? @leighb23 is referring to her brain damaged SN child.

I have actually been in a situation where I wasn't overly pleased with another parent in a place I was with my children and the way the other family used devices, but d'ya know what? It was one meal and in the grand scheme of things was no big deal. I vaguely recall frowning, then thinking ah well, in an hour or 2 the situation will be different (i.e. We would be gone)

I also would like to point out regarding my obstinate comments that it's fine to use devices as waiting tools, esp for SN (but also, nobodies business even if no SN) that in the places I DO frequent (a few times A YEAR) that my children are wonderfully well behaved.

I also devices some times, I parent constantly, and I remind them to thank wait staff.

I reserve the right to use modern tools to help my children see more than my own frikkin walls.

Why not? Modern medicine means my son is alive, modern tools can surely also help him access modern life. :)

Ipads in restaurants are so depressing. FFS what do you all think people did a mere decade ago? My kids don't go to restaurants often but they can at least string a sentence together and make eye contact. As a pp said, you're basically dragging a TV out with you.

I'm genuinely confused at adults who seem incapable of accepting that in public places there will be people and children with different needs. If you cannot cope with noise from other tables then ask to be moved. Or follow your own advice and become so engrossed in the conversation at your own table that others' actions don't bother or distract you.

I would rather hear Peppa than a child going mental TBH and my experience of taking young children anywhere, first as an older sibling and now as a parent is that you can never do enough to please other people. Having children seems to be an open invitation to judge; they were on the iPad, messing with the cutlery, the atmosphere was ruined because they were talking too loud etc. On my last holiday I was approached to say my 2 year old's voice was too high pitched in the hotel pool, during kids time, while other children were shouting and doing cannonballs into the pool.

Then you have the experts, the 'you know what I would do'/ your children will be criminals if they watch Paw Patrol at the table. You know what you can clear off. My own sister,for example, was a nightmare to take out, tantrums, going under the table, you name it. My Mum was permanently at her wits end, she read the parenting magazines and books, tried the tips, DSis just was how she was. Yet she never got in trouble with school or the law went on to get a first class degree and build a successful career. I bet my Mum would have killed for an iPas though.

I am sorry if i offended anyone bc i believe that, if possible, we use time at the table conversing with our children. I did not reaslize how badly needed electronics are by some children.

For the rest of the world, if possible, please realize that your child will soon be a teenager and if you don't set the precedent now for communicating with and listening to your children, it will be an uphill journey when they are teenagers. I love going out to eat bc i do not have responsibility to do anything except listen to them. Asking questions, discussing their interests are more interesting than electronic devices. We can teach conversation skills. My kids are interesting! Dont wait until yours are cranky TEENAGERS to discover how interesting tbey are. I love having a meal where nobody can leave.

Autofillcontact.

Was it you in the restaurant?
You seem to be the kind of person everyone is complaining about

iPads on holiday is not sad it's a life saver on a rainy day or for some down time between the beach and the pool. Personally though I wouldn't let them be taken into a restaurant as I believed meal times are a time to converse.

Mine (5yr old twins and a 3yr old) all have headphones and live them.

Now teenagers with phones and YouTube videos in public places don't get me started 😡

Other people may be noise-sensitive, or be exhausted, or have saved up for a year to have a lovely break, only to have it ruined by Peppa Bloody Pig following them wherever they go. You are the one judging other people without knowing anything about their lives. Have some consideration for them.

Consideration goes both ways. I suspect you have annoying habits too tbh. And before thinking otherwise probably means a significant lack of self awareness.

Here's a thought ArcheryAnnie. Maybe she knows that won't work for her disabled child. Maybe she knows that it will make matters worse. Maybe she knows her own child better than you do.