Hotel restaurant and iPads etc

[mckenzie]

We are on holiday and staying in a hotel with breakfast included.
Settle nicely at a table this morning, in the shade, over lookimgbthe gardens, watching the birds on the ledge. A family then take the table next to us.

The older child (I'm guessing age 5) is given an iPad and starts playing a game with noice so we can hear ping and pong and clapping and other computer type noises.
The younger child (I'm guessing 18 months) has a phone propped up in front of her and is watching a video of some sort so we can hear high pitched animated voices and weird music.

AIBU to expect the family to think of others and provide said children with headphones?

It's smug city on this thread.

Each to their own. Whole families sat around a dinner table not communicating is not 'progress'. It will backfire when all the chit chat stops and we just text each other instead.

Smug city?? More like common sense and consideration towards others.

YANBU. Why has a child 18 months sitting watching something on a phone and the 5 year playing games. Parents should be chatting with them. No hope for humanity with this sort of behaviour.

Our son who's ASD needs an iPad to help us when out and about for food etc. but I would never let him disturb others around us and always make him use headphones. Just rude not to

If a toddler can't wear earphones and will run around a restaurant screaming don't bring them in the first place. It's bloody infuriating to hear an iPad turned up, my 3 kids have special kids earphones if they need to watch something at the end of a long meal.

We were in a hotel restaurant last week where a 4 year old had Peppa Pig turned up full blast. I asked the waiter to ask them to turn it down, he did and they turned it down marginally. The head waiter then came out, knelt down to the child's level and in a really nice way asked her to turn it right down. She did eventually and then for some reason fell off her chair - onto carpet and not injured but the mother made a complete fuss and bellowed at the waiter "Are you happy now?".

Ignorant cow and making other people listen to your kids programmes is just unacceptable in any public place. Another area where people have a sense of entitlement because they have kids!!

I have five daughters that are all in their twenties and thirties with children of their own. There were no phones and iPads when they were small so when we went out to eat we used to talk to our children very rarely did we have a tantrum and if we did we would take the child outside. These days it's so much easier to give a child a phone or iPad instead of having a conversation with them. My grandchildren are not allowed phones at the dining table my children do the same as I did with them and they talk no subject is taboo a lot of things get sorted this way.

I have encountered it I only a few times and always assumed the children watching the devices must have special needs.

Please note special needs parents, I know plenty of SN children can behave perfectly well in a restaurant without devices.

Have they bought no other entertainment / colouring books / story books for the eldest/ few little plastic figures to play with! Sorry the kids should be surely eating! You don't need to stare at a screen and eat! I understand adults may take a bit longer over dinner and some sort of entertainment that doesn't annoy other guests may be necessary for everyone's benefit, but surely breakfast is not that big of an ordeal! In public my children always have to wear headphones or not bother!

Bettyspants how is having a device on silent/with headphones lacking in commonsense or not showing consideration for others? Which is what people are now being critisised for. No, that's just smugness.

How sad that the parents don't want to interact with their kids at breakfast! If you need to resort to this kind of childminding then it needs to be on silent or involve headphones. I remember Dora game and Happy Mrs Chicken being particularly annoying.

I think any noise coming from these devices which annoys other people just isn't on. If a child won't wear headphones it either plays with the sound off or doesn't play at all in public places.

My son is severely autistic and yes we are that family with the iPad. He needs it to block out the noise around him. He won't wear earphones. On the very very rare occasion we are able to go out as a family and enjoy a meal then the iPad or phone is a godsend and we wouldn't be able to do it otherwise.
Too many judgemental people in the world you have no idea what is going on in that particular family.

Christ Fresh, you sound inherently selfish. I hope to never holiday with the likes of someone so entitled!

Or just parent them and teach them they are more that capable of sitting at a table without needing to be entertained by a screen

Well, thoughts on here are some of the reasons I just don't eat out with my children, or go on holiday, or use many public places.

Two of my three are autistic, have development delay, and have some mobility issues. On a good day they might seems normal, on a less than good day, they might seem like naughty kids, on a bad day it seems obvious that they're special needs.

The world seems to want us to just to hide away.

Sure I have no idea if SEN was involved here, but clearly snap judgements were involved here!! Sounds like moving a little was no hardship, imagine how you'd have felt if SEN was a factor and you'd told the parents kids to behave as suits you and you'd then caused a meltdown to kick off? Certainly no chance of anyone hearing the birds then!

My 15yr old can finally wear headphones now, his head finally grew enough that they don't just fall off. And that's little headphones intended for small kids!! Microcephaly meant that at the age described here, headphones were not possible at all, even if he could tolerate them!

I am glad you moved and had the breakfast you wanted. I'm not pleased you think it's your place to tell people off next time however.

I do not allow electronics at home when we are eating. I don't allow them at a restaurant either. However, when we were on holiday they were allowed on them whist we were waiting for our food. I figured we were on holiday and pretty much anything goes. I would have told them to turn it down or off if they had them turned up too loudly. It was a family caravan park so it was noisy anyway but if you allow your kids to use devices in public it's just basic manners not to have them loud enough to annoy others.

Volume very low, off or headphones.

Oh and @shinysinkredemption yes my kids sometimes cope just fine without devices, and they don't get to use devices whilst eating, but the WAIT for food is often horrendous. I've been known to just leave after paying for food because of a meltdown that I couldn't get under control!

But that's ok, perhaps the children should just be locked up at home in case someone is upset that they might use a tool to help them wait....

I know!! Let's just lock children up! Ffs.

Oh my I wish some families would try to have some meals together without screens?!?!

See @Evabear13 how so you know that the family judged by the OP hadn't had a whole week of no screens and then gave up for the nth meal?

If it were my family, ALL meals at home are screen less, ALL meals out are screen less, the WAIT for meals might have a screen, and might not.

That said, I insist on low volume, or as finally at age 15 years old, toddler headphones now fit, headphones.

I sincerely doubt all families use screens all the time, but do you know what, if they did, is it any business of yours?

Issues like this make me so angry. I shouldn't let MN regular rants about screens at meals put wind me up so much, but it just does.

I am not a member of the family mentioned in the OP, so I do not know if it's a thing they do a breakfast times only, all meals out, or all meals, nor do I know why, nor do I WISH to know why because it's none of my business.
I just hope I never eat out at a place where those of you are judging are! Sure it's not likely, because for my children's sake and my sanity we RARELY ever eat out!

As I've said before before, meltdowns hav caused me to leave a meal after ordering/paying because it was better for all, especially others around on other tables if we just left.
Yet all many of you can focus on is that someone somewhere used a modern tool to aid a situation that quite frankly, is nobody else's business but that family's!

Evà the op was talking about eating out, therefore I assume the answers are about eating out. In our home there are no electronics at the table when we eat together. This is because we control the length of time waiting for food and there's usually just one (maximum two) courses. Minimum waiting around, kids not getting bored etc. At restaurants ds is allowed his tablet while waiting for food. The rest of the time we talk, laugh together etc. Without going over everything I've said already, I just don't understand why people are getting so annoyed at what other families choose to do, unless it's interfering with their own enjoyment of a meal out. Most people who have said they allow tablets have said they also expect them to be on low/ silent. So how does that exactly interfere with you?

No. They should put electronics away and enjoy one another's company! Color, tell jokes, do anything that creates family time.

It interferes with society as a whole; families are important and eating together with conversation helps us understand one another. Learning to communicate with one another while dc are young certainly helps when kids are teens!

HiJenny35 - We have a no phones when we are out rule because I think it's rude and antisocial even with the sound off.

I couldn't agree more. However, if children have to have iPads/phones etc, then the sound should DEFINATELY be bloody well put on silent.

So what about the kids who can't colour, converse or tell jokes? Should they be locked away out of sight?

Or those kids who can't sit still and wait? Are those families not allowed to enjoy a nice meal?

Yes in an ideal world all kids and adults could sit and discuss their day, their plans for the following day etc but unfortunately we don't live an an ideal world so what should those parents do? Please enlighten me as I'd love to know?