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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hotel restaurant and iPads etc

439 replies

mckenzie · 31/08/2017 09:53

We are on holiday and staying in a hotel with breakfast included.
Settle nicely at a table this morning, in the shade, over lookimgbthe gardens, watching the birds on the ledge. A family then take the table next to us.

The older child (I'm guessing age 5) is given an iPad and starts playing a game with noice so we can hear ping and pong and clapping and other computer type noises.
The younger child (I'm guessing 18 months) has a phone propped up in front of her and is watching a video of some sort so we can hear high pitched animated voices and weird music.

AIBU to expect the family to think of others and provide said children with headphones?

OP posts:
theymademejoin · 31/08/2017 10:58

@Ttbb - I managed to rear 3 children, regularly bringing them out to eat and on holidays from a young age without any of them "getting stroppy and screaming/running around". I used books, colouring, toys etc. I also spoke to and engaged with my children.

It happened occasionally that they would start to play up but I either defused the situation using whatever parenting techniques worked for that particular child, or if it was obvious they were tired/emotional/stroppy I removed them from the situation until they calmed down. If they didn't calm down, then dh and I would take it in turns to look after them outside the restaurant while the other ate.

I really think this is lazy parenting. Devices have their place but there is no way they should be used in a way that disrupts others. And I include adults' use of devices in this too.

Hissy · 31/08/2017 11:01

On holiday recently, I was shocked to see how every table with kids had tech thrust upon them as a minder.

there were 2 kids aged about 2yo and another 4 or 5 - parents just handed them both ipads (full volume) and occasionally shovelled a spoon of food in to the kids mouths.

Another table next to us (all brits) the kids 7-11 ish already had phones which they remained glued to the entire meal, no interaction at all with the adults or each other.

We are hurtling towards a social disaster here. Babies are learning that tech is more important to mummy or daddy than they are, they see their parents and siblings glued to screens and will expect to follow this.

We did have tech on holiday, it actually caused more issues than it did solve them, any time we went out it was a good 5 or 10 mins of negotiating with the kids to put the phone down, needing to save the progress or just finish this level.

they were not allowed to have tech at the table and it was brilliant, we talked, we laughed, joked and shared experiences.

I've threatened a no tech break next year, or wifi on for an hour a day.

maddiemookins16mum · 31/08/2017 11:06

What a sad state of affairs that a family can't even manage breakfast without screens.
Yep, I'm judging.
It's ridiculous.

BlondeB83 · 31/08/2017 11:09

I hate it when parents use technology as pacifiers during meal times etc. Lazy parenting.

brasty · 31/08/2017 11:12

You can't really expect the toddler to wear headphones, the only really alternative is the child getting stroppy and screaming/running around.

It always amazes me that some people think the choice is between sound from a game or video, or the child screaming and running around. It always makes me wonder if they actually see all those toddlers doing neither.

hiccupgirl · 31/08/2017 11:18

I get that sometimes parents want a break from dealing with their kids and I get that some kids needs mean an IPad etc is a good option in a restaurant so the whole family can have a meal out. And I think that's fair enough, though there should be headphones or the volume right down if not.

But I completely agree with most kids can learn to behave appropriately in a cafe or a restaurant if they are taught how to do it without a phone/iPad etc coming out straight away. My DH is a sod for wanting to get the tablet out for DS (7) when we're out, generally because he wants to look at his own phone and it lets him off having to interact. DS is more than capable of eating a meal, doing some colouring or a word search etc now and often would rather chat than play on the tablet. Doesn't mean it's always easy when we go out but I'd rather that than DS and DH both sitting plugged in while I look at the wall!

bungaloid · 31/08/2017 12:10

I'm a bit judgemental on things like this, and tend just to drag my children out of the area if they go militant unreasonable.
However, on some level isn't technology meant to make our lives easier? Soon enough we will have robots looking after our children.

PollyFlint · 31/08/2017 12:14

Some kids, especially toddlers won't wear headphones. They can be uncomfortable/ annoying for them

Then give them a colouring book or a jigsaw instead of a bloody iPad. How do you think parents entertained their kids in restaurants and on long journeys before iPads and smartphones existed?!

JigglyTuff · 31/08/2017 12:15

Either on silent or headphones. No exceptions

Autofillcontact · 31/08/2017 12:16

Tbh I think you're fairly behind the times. I pads/ tablets are everywhere in our holiday resort. Parents are just trying to relax themselves.

I doubt it was blaring loudly enough to disturb you, since iPads don't even go that loud

Titanz · 31/08/2017 12:16

Glad to see some sanity on this thread. To suggest it's either ipad noise or running around playing the daft sod is just silly.

JigglyTuff · 31/08/2017 12:18

If my iPad is loud enough for me to watch a film without it being at max volume, it's loud enough for it to irritate other people in public.

Autofillcontact · 31/08/2017 12:21

It's not loud enough for you to watch a film in a hotel breakfast room. Unless you go to very quiet hotels.

sparkli · 31/08/2017 12:22

How do you think those of us who had children before this kind of tech appeared actually managed in restaurants? We interacted, brought non-noisy toys, colouring books, etc. Actually had conversations with our children. And, if need be, we would take them out of the restaurant to avoid others having to put up with too much noise.

I understand why parents use iPads and phones to distract kids when they're out, but be considerate and keep the volume off or use headphones. I hate how society is becoming so entitled Angry

JigglyTuff · 31/08/2017 12:25

Most hotels I've been in are quite quiet at breakfast, yes.

Original poster
mckenzie · 31/08/2017 12:25

Thank you everybody.
we moved tables today to get away from the noise but if it happens again, I might politely ask them to turn the sound off instead.

OP posts:
Autofillcontact · 31/08/2017 12:25

"How do you think those of us who had children before this kind of tech appeared actually managed in restaurants?"

I remember it well. By hardly ever eating out

Nuttynoo · 31/08/2017 12:27

This is a problem parents who overrely on technology as a pacifier bring on themselves. What's wrong with colouring books/crayons, toys, puzzles etc? Why do they have to bring in what's effectively a TV to a restaurant?

Autofillcontact · 31/08/2017 12:27

Well jiggly try a bit of mark Warner in the med in August. You'll have to scream to get a plate of bacon

happilyeverafta · 31/08/2017 12:27

I really get the rage when I see children (of any age) with iPads or phones in public - restaurants cafes etc.

My SIL does this with her sons and is always trying to give my 9 month old her phone to distract her....I say no thanks and give her a book or quiet toy. She's coped so far Confused

Why can't children be taught to behave in restaurants first giving giving them noisy distractions?

LittleBearPad · 31/08/2017 12:29

Don't be silly Autofill iPads are definitely loud enough to be annoying.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/08/2017 12:29

Some kids, especially toddlers won't wear headphones. They can be uncomfortable/ annoying for them

Then they don't get to play noise in public.

Jaxhog · 31/08/2017 12:30

YANBU. It's lazy parenting and antisocial.

Autofillcontact · 31/08/2017 12:30

I think people whose children are older have just missed the I pad generation tbh. The reason they don't sit and colour in quietly for 3 hours is that their brains are now wired to take in a higher higher level
Of Information than kids pre I pad so get bored far more easily.

It's has advantages and disadvantages. Can't sit still colouring but will be far smarter

JigglyTuff · 31/08/2017 12:30

Well clearly it was loud enough for the OP to hear it or she wouldn't have known if they had the sound on or not.

The MW I went to wasn't that loud. How odd.