To ask what age you would let dc have a drink at home

[ohhereweareagain]

Dh thinks 15 if there is a special occasion whilst I don't agree. I have no idea if I am being unreasonable as I don't drink. I grew up in a culture where drink wasn't much a part if it whilst his was very different

In my strict house I can tell you that even if there was drink at parties I'd be so busy trying to make sure I didn't have any tipsyness in me and no smell of alcohol on my breath (chewing gum) before going home, I'd end up having one drink all night. So my parents rules and expectations did actually work.

I think the point about drinking with a meal, rather than just having a drink, has some relevance. We drink, if at all, with food. Many of my friends and colleagues drink just to have a drink and any work social events seem to be regarded as an opportunity to get drunk. When parents are setting out to get drunk, it's no wonder their dad follow their example - it's seen as normal within the family group.

CoryThatWas, I think you are right, too.

There are so many factors and complexities at play.

I would guess that lots more of us would have an outright ban on drug use in the home, and that very few of us use drugs in front of our kids the way we drink, however moderately.

And yet very many of our kids will experiment with weed and MDMA, for example, and maybe use it recreationally a bit. All without parents setting a bad example or allowing it in the home, and almost 100% as a result of peer pressure / peer aspiration (i.e the peers don't pressurise them, they pressurise themselves to be seen to be cool or to just give it a try for the thrill / experiment)

Some of those kids will, sadly, develop a problem, progress to more problematic drugs or suffer the knock-on risks such as a caution or conviction. Having met many young and older people who have drug and drug-related problems I would say that the majority who succumb are those with problems - unhappiness and dysfunction at home, a need for self medication, a feeling that they have little to lose, trauma and events that have led to them not valuing (and therefore protecting) the quality of their lives. Obviously this is not always the case - some just get in too deep.

Our support for our children in terms of alcohol and drug use needs to go wider than just yes / no / what age can you have prosecco at Christmas. And still cannot be guaranteed to always work!

Menarche for girls, and 13 for boys. I forget menarche is rather earlier for modern girls. The median in the States was around 12.5 in 1980, and later in colder climates with less sunlight.

I was given alcohol (port mixed with lemonade, shandies, coke and rum) from a very young age (less than 5) at family gatherings (weekly) and wine with food at special meals.

It never did me any harm except that I am now a real ale, wine and single malt snob. Even as a child I used to read the labels and try and learn about the different drinks.

10. I think parents should role model social drinking behaviour at home - so small glasses of undiluted wine/beer with one meal a day.

I let my DS have a small glass of beer or wine since he was 13. He is now 16 and from what I can see he is the only one of his friend who doesn't come home legless from parties - perhaps because alcohol isn't a big forbidden deal to him!

The younger you are when you first experience alcohol (even small amounts), the more likely you are to have problems with alcohol as an adult
Bollocks. Everyone in my family tasted alcohol on or before the age of five and not one of us is a drinker

That might be the case in your family but for some families there is a history of alcoholism so the outcome might not be so good.

I do think there is a connection between families who have members who are alcoholic and those that can just take or leave alcohol.
I do think genetics play a bigger part that we don't know about yet.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice this is how insidious alcohol is. You are a grown woman yet you gave into peer pressure and gave your DC alcohol because others were doing it.

Nuttynoo How do those that don't drink, supposed to model social drinking.

My DS is 8 so it's not really come up yet but I have a friend whose policy is to let them drink as long as it actually tastes of alcohol .... so no alcopops or flavoured and sweetened coders etc... but her young teens can have a glass of wine or a beer at home... I like this and eill do it myself...
It teaches about drinking responsibly but also doesn't disguise the flavour who h younger kids will usually find offputti g anyway

Sometimes with a curry we all have a bottle of cider , since about 13, but that's only about 6 times a year, wine at xmas lunch, adds lemonade to sweeten it, themselves.
I think if it's not banded then they don't think it needs to be sneaked, if they ask can I try some they can, but non of us drink much more than that.

16+. I have two older than this both with sensible attitudes to alcohol.

10. I think parents should role model social drinking behaviour at home - so small glasses of undiluted wine/beer with one meal a day.

LOL!!

What happens if parents drink less than this?!

I've wondered this. I don't drink at all and DH will have a can of beer with the football about once a month. I'm quite curious as to how DS will feel about alcohol as he never sees it around him or us.

My parents hardly drank. I drank 'normally' ie got smashed a couple of times at uni and drank fairly regularly for years. I now only drink when out (rare!) and occasionally habe wine at home. It's not a massive part of my life. I think letting a 10 year old drink alcohol is horrible, sorry.

Neither of my parents drink so we didn't have alcohol at home at all. The first time I went to a party at about 14 I drank so much I spent all evening in the toilet being sick. My attitude towards alcohol was not healthy until I was about 20 when I stopped binge drinking and only had a glass now and again. Not sure if it would have been different if I knew more about alcohol from a young age but I will probably be more relaxed about it with my dc.

I saw a documentary about this not too long ago; it compared kids and teenagers in Holland with kids and teenagers in the UK. The families in Holland had a more relaxed attitude to alcohol - they would allow their kids and teenagers a small glass of wine with meals etc ... and encouraged the young people to appreciate different wine with different food... that sort of thing. Or they were allowed a light beer perhaps. But it was very much with the family, when having a meal, etc... etc...

They compared it with in the UK where alcohol before 18 is quite taboo, there wasn't much in the way of appreciating wine with a meal etc... and there was a lot of disapproval of giving alcohol at all to anyone under 18.

What was seen was that the young people in the UK went more wild after 18 - binge drinking, going out with the sole purpose of getting drunk etc... whereas in Holland, they just weren't that bothered. They still enjoyed a glass of wine or beer, but it was usually with a meal and they viewed going out with the purpose of getting drunk to be silly and a waste of time. They would drink but had a more healthy attitude to drinking.

I personally was allowed a little alcohol from about 10... a sip of wine or champagne at Xmas and special occasions... then by 14 I would enjoy a glass of wine with a meal. To this day I'm not a big drinker. I still appreciate a good wine that compliments my meal or a glass of champagne sometimes.... I like an ice cold beer in the summer occasionally... but I can very much take it or leave it and I don't even begin to understand the culture of binge drinking/going out with the purpose of getting drunk. I don't like the feeling of being drunk and I have what I consider to be a healthy attitude to drinking.

I used to have babycham and snowballs at Christmas from being about 14

Husband was allowed a small glass of wine on a Sunday with lunch from being about 14yrs old

It's actually legal for a 14 year old to drink wine or beer with a meal in a licensed restaurant.

No it isn't.

Children can drink alcohol in a private place with the parents' consent from age 5.
At age 16, they can drink beer, wine or cider with a meal in a restaurant if a parent is present.
At age 18, a person can buy alcohol.

Our dc have never shown any interest in drinking at home tbh, but I wouldn't encourage it below 17 maybe. I mean what's the point, it's not going to stop them drinking when out with friends. We don't take wine with a meal though, we would have a couple of glasses later on while watching a movie or something as a couple. I would only drink more than a couple of glasses if I was having a night out. Grown up dc have a pretty healthy attitude to alcohol, eldest is 27 now and is a social drinker, 24 year old doesn't drink at all, 19 year drinks occasionally.

I was 15 when I was first allowed a drink at home.

I never became much of a drinker - my parents didn't make a deal out of it, I've never been drunk in my life and I'm 28 now, but I think 15 was a decent age to start.

I think the 'European' myth of giving alcohol younger and therefore breeding a generation of healthy drinkers has been debunked

I used to regularly drink alcopops at home from age 15. But I wouldn't let my children do the same.

Maybe a glass of something on a special occasion from 16.

Like a pp's dh I am scared of doing the wrong thing. My dad is an alcoholic and both my brother and I did a lot of binge drinking and got into trouble in our teens and now neither of us really drink (me occasionally, brother not at all). So I want my children to have a sensible attitude to alcohol.

I was 6 when I was allowed a glass of wine, greatly watered down, at Christmas. I was allowed a watered down glass every now and then at celebratory meals.

I first drank too much when I was 17. I probably did drink far far too much at uni - and I enjoyed every bit of it. And then after that I reverted back to only having a drink very occasionally. I drink very little compared to others in my social circle, mostly one or sometimes two glasses a week.

I couldn't say for certain how/ if drinking wine early affected me.