To be frustrated by the misunderstanding of the honorific 'Ms' ?

[ChinkChink]

Inspired by another thread.

I've come across many people who believe that 'Ms' is the honorific for a divorced woman, rather than the female equivalent of 'Mr'. People including several employers, managers, supervisors etc, plus friends and family who I'd normally regard as clued up. And many of them women.

I do welcome the introduction of the term 'Mx' as a title to be used when gender is irrelevant [almost always!] but I fear that Mx will go the same way - people will interpret it as a title for someone who is [for example] transgender.

What say you, MN massive?

I really don't care
I'm divorced and still a Mrs.

Don't care I never changed my name to start with so made no difference.

It pisses me right off, I've been a Ms since about 17 can't believe it's still viewed as a divorcee thing.

It doesn't bother me either way. The people I know who use Ms are all divorced so I can see where that has come from.

Someone (female) in HR said to me when I said I was a Ms, "Yes, you don't want people to know you're not married after a certain age"

I wish we could do as in Europe and after a certain maturity you are a Mrs, Madame, Signora etc. It's marital status neutral, in the same was a man transitions from Master to Mr.

I kept my name when I got married and use Mrs so that confuses everyone.

I don't pay much attention or give much thought. Ms just says 'female' to me - I don't think about it otherwise.

I've always used Ms as I feel it is sexist to assume Miss/Mrs. Miss is for
Children and I dont think it should be assumed child or married. Men don't have to have a stigma attached so I prefer Ms. I feel rather perturbed to read this and discover it's all been in vain.

Weird. Ridiculous that we still have different title based on marital status for women but not for men. We need to move to the German system where everyone is 'Frau' regardless of marital status.

I couldn't be a Ms at an old workplace as choosing that option on the database meant you had to have a previous surname!

Someone (female) in HR said to me when I said I was a Ms, "Yes, you don't want people to know you're not married after a certain age"

Whereas she obviously DID want people to know she was an idiot, regardless of her age.

I'm divorced and if people say Ms surname I say it's first name. Unless I'm in work and someone complaining demands my name I then say it's Mrs surname.

Ms to me does say either divorced, not married after a certain age or militant feminist as everyone else seems happy using Miss or Mrs.

I hate Mx and Ms - they don't roll off the tongue very well. It's not their usage or what they represent - I just think they sound ugly!

I am quite happy to use Miss. I don't care if it reveals that I'm an unmarried spinster; I think it sounds better said aloud. I'd have no objection to Mrs, but I'll never be a Mrs, because if I did get married, I sure as hell wouldn't change my surname and it makes no sense using Mrs with your maiden name.

I know Ms doesn't automatically mean divorced/separated. I just don't know many unmarried women who use it over Miss.

I don't mind being a Madame in France, although I recall feeling slightly sad when I automatically became a Madame rather than a Mademoiselle. I officially look old now. Madame is fine, because it rolls off the tongue with ease. I don't mind it. Ms just sounds ugly to my ear.

Mind you, there are a lot of English words I irrationally hate. This is a language with a lot of ugliness in it.

I vary between Mrs and Ms, because I don't think my marital status is relevant to my online shopping, or utility bills, etc. For those sorts of things, I'm Ms. I've never had anyone assume I'm divorced.

Yes I had that when I was 24 and worked at a prison. The other staff kept trying to call me Miss Expat and I kept saying no actually it's Ms Expat the lefty feminist. One day one of them looked a bit confused and said youre a bit young to be a Ms arent you? I'd never heard of people thinking it was just for dicorcees, but I somehow figured out that's what he meant. So I said you dont need to be divorced, it's like how all men are Mr regardless of whether or not theyre married. And then he said, that makes sense. And I danced a victory dance in my head.

I actually didn't realise that people thought that, and I've used Ms since I was 18, single and married. I didn't change my name on marriage so it seemed silly and confusing to be Mrs Mysurname anyway.

I've never had an issue with Ms for myself, apart from people sometimes saying is it Miss or Mrs, and I just say it's Ms. One of the magazines I write for automatically calls all females who are quoted Ms, e.g. "Jane Smith is a cat whisperer. "I control cats with my mind," says Ms Smith." Its easier than asking every single woman interviewed whether they are married or not. I had one woman absolutely refuse to be titled Ms, saying she absolutely hated it, and I never really understood why - now perhaps I do!

Anything "other than" will always be used to make things harder for women.

Miss says unmarried

Mrs says married.

Ms is misinterpreted.

Mr says man. There's your problem. Men are normal and need no further definition.

Women "need "to be defined by so much of society, and lots of them love to be so defined.

Every kick against the pricks by women who resist definition is just more "awkwardness" on their part.

I got a PhD to avoid this. When people ask me if it is Miss or Mrs, I say "Dr. actually" :-D.

NotanotherNC snap!

On the other hand, surely everyone reading the magazine doesn't think we only interview divorcees?!

I'm a divorced Ms, I don't want to be married or married again so Ms is fine for me. Miss is ridiculous, I am not a 5 year old nor a cat loving spinster (well I am a cat loving spinster but lets not go there).
Mrs for me signifies ownership by a man as there is no equivalent for a married man who is always Mr regardless.
I have been a Ms throughout my adult life, married or non married and kept my own surname but yes people assume I'm a man hating, divorced feminist which isn't tue, I don't hate all men, I have lots of platonic male friends.

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian - I get very angry when addressed as a 'mizz'. I am a Mrs.

notanotherNC Awesome. Now, Dr is a really cool, non-gender, non-marital status specific honorific. It's just a lot of hard work to get it! Well done.

Anyone wants to assume I'm a 'radical feminist/lesbian', I'll take it as a compliment

I had a spat with the DBS office about this - they interpret Ms as (bitter) divorcee. I have never been married and never will - I explained to them that I use Ms as it's no one else's business what my marital status is.
(Ok, to an extent, the DBS do want to know one's relationship status for a legitimate reason, but I had already stated on their form that I was not living with another adult.)