To be frustrated by the misunderstanding of the honorific 'Ms' ?

[ChinkChink]

Inspired by another thread.

I've come across many people who believe that 'Ms' is the honorific for a divorced woman, rather than the female equivalent of 'Mr'. People including several employers, managers, supervisors etc, plus friends and family who I'd normally regard as clued up. And many of them women.

I do welcome the introduction of the term 'Mx' as a title to be used when gender is irrelevant [almost always!] but I fear that Mx will go the same way - people will interpret it as a title for someone who is [for example] transgender.

What say you, MN massive?

I'm quite happy being a Mrs. I got married when I was 30 - far too old to be a "Miss". So I was a Ms then a Mrs.

I wil never, ever, in a month of Sundays. accept people referring to me as "Mx".

I hate Ms. I do just assume people don't want me to know which they really are, i.e. Miss or Mrs. I never assume though but the people that say that they're a Ms are always defensive as they say it. I don't know why people can't just stick to the two and be more open about they're marital status. Plus even if you keep your maiden name you technically are a Mrs.

I don't associate 'Ms' as being a prefix for someone who's divorced; it's just a choice made by many women today—the equivalent of 'Mr', I guess.

I don't like it for me, however; I've never been married and much prefer 'Miss'. Just my personal choice.

Also I can't bloody say Ms. I hate having to call people and asking to speak to Ms Customer for them to correct me and say 'it's Mzzz' as if I've called them Miss

I've been a Ms since I was 17 and I'm 46 now.

**and I'm married.

Do you find you have problems saying the word?

I'm quite happy being a Mrs. I got married when I was 30 - far too old to be a "Miss". So I was a Ms then a Mrs

Oops, I'm 50 and STILL a 'Miss'. Is it about time that I should be looking for a husband?

Pinkflamingo do you also get annoyed when you don't know whether a man is married or not?

I got a PhD to avoid this. When people ask me if it is Miss or Mrs, I say "Dr. actually" :-D.

Superb plan. Wanders off to look at research opportunities in forensic accounting. MUCH preferable to having to get married

I do just assume people don't want me to know which they really are, i.e. Miss or Mrs.

You assume correctly.

I never assume though but the people that say that they're a Ms are always defensive as they say it. I don't know why people can't just stick to the two and be more open about they're marital status

Why do you need to know?

I hate Ms. I do just assume people don't want me to know which they really are, i.e. Miss or Mrs.

I'm not really Miss or Mrs, I'm Ms. Do you mean I don't want you to know if I'm married or not? I don't mind you knowing, all you have to do is ask.

Oh dear, I feel like a right plum now, I had no idea and thought it was for divorcees. Thanks Mumsnet for the education!

I'm married, and have been Ms since I was 18. (I am also Ms BiddyPop - not Mrs BPDHname).

I am not such a great feminist, but this is one thing that I do feel strongly about, and I always change any forms that come automatically filled in etc, as I am still my own person and my marital status is irrelevant in almost all situations (if it is needed, I can generally put it somewhere else and still us "Ms").

Histinyhandsarefrozen I guess your question was for me? Yes I do have a problem saying the word. That is literally what my post said.

I hate Ms. I do just assume people don't want me to know which they really are, i.e. Miss or Mrs

What does that even mean? I'm really Ms. Whether I am married or not isn't anyone else's business. Also, do you genuinely find it hard to say Ms? It rhymes with fizz, I'd have thought both were fairly easy words to say.

the people that say that they're a Ms are always defensive as they say it

They aren't. Your bias is showing.

I'm 43, married and still called Miss (Maiden surname). I didn't see why I should change my name or title and I don't give a toss what anyone else thinks.

I hate Ms. I do just assume people don't want me to know which they really are, i.e. Miss or Mrs

Unless you are interested in sleeping with me, or medical staff needing to know my next of kin, why is it anything to do with you whether I'm married or not? And even in those cases where you do need to know, or want to know, a direct question rather knowing my title is more likely to get the information you actually need. But if you're working in a restaurant or shop or swimming pool or garage or wherever, it should be irrelevant to the service I receive.

We all cope perfectly well without knowing whether men ate married or not. Shouldn't it be the same for women?

Interestingly most female surgeons tend to stick to Miss regardless of marital status - presumably a throwback to when female doctors were unmarriageable bluestockings.

Most stick with their maiden names, but I've met a few Miss Marriedsurnames. Mrs Surgeon would sound so weird - patients don't need to know your marital status. I'm not sure why Ms isn't more widely used, I've met a couple of Ms Surgeons but the vast majority of my friends are married and use Miss.

Miss if unmarried under 30, Ms if unmarried and over 30. That's how I was told to tell the difference at least.

I had no idea people thought that Ms meant you were divorced.
I've been using Ms for decades. I'm married but kept my own name.
I get mail from HRMC, the Drs surgery etc all referring to me as Mrs Happyhippy. Any forms I've filled in have always said my title is Ms and what my marital status is(married.) So therefore I must be address as Mrs? I find it annoying and disrespectful.
I'm still addressed as Miss for my bank account because I opened that when I was a kid!

I do agree with the statement Ms implies a certain type of female

It implies a female who believes she is an equal to men and who would like to be treated the same way a man is treated with regards to marital status.

Exactly theymademejoin

But surely the male equivalent for Miss and Mrs, is Master and Mr. By that logic we should use Miss for young women and girls and Mrs for older women like most of the rest of Europe who seem to use the signifying titles by age rather than marriage status.

Thus making Ms either redundant or a signifier for some other status?

I think Ms is ugly as a word, but I've just come back from the 16th century where I've been "Good Mistress" for the past week.