To be frustrated by the misunderstanding of the honorific 'Ms' ?

[ChinkChink]

Inspired by another thread.

I've come across many people who believe that 'Ms' is the honorific for a divorced woman, rather than the female equivalent of 'Mr'. People including several employers, managers, supervisors etc, plus friends and family who I'd normally regard as clued up. And many of them women.

I do welcome the introduction of the term 'Mx' as a title to be used when gender is irrelevant [almost always!] but I fear that Mx will go the same way - people will interpret it as a title for someone who is [for example] transgender.

What say you, MN massive?

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian You need to get out more.

I get very angry when addressed as a 'mizz'. I am a Mrs. So what do you actually do when you get very angry?

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian Do you live in 1952? How bizarre!

I am in my fifties and don't think anyone I know would assume Ms meant divorced, I have never come across this.

I have been Ms since I was about 18, through two marriages and divorces.

If a man isn't defined by his marital status why should I be?

I'd never heard of Mx

Indeed. Same in many other countries. I remember the first time I was called 'Senora' in Spain simply because I was a grown-up, but decided against protesting 'Senorita!' as it would have been a bit Dick Emery/Hettie.

Those saying 'doesn't matter to me' - fair enough, but my question was about general understanding of the term.

I'd never heard of Mx

Google it. It has so many pronunciations it has mileage to piss off a million people.:o

I don't like it when people assume I'm a Miss because I'm still in my 20s (27). As if I rushed into it, or made a really bad judgement due to my young age. If unsure, call me Ms.

I tend to think of Miss and Ms a bit like Master and Mr though - more age related... don't hear many kids saying call me Ms...

Well I have been married for many decades; at work I am Ms X and out of work Mrs Y. When I finally retire, I will miss Ms X!

I've found it to be a particular issue in the UK.

In Australia, Ms is in common use, especially in professional settings where it tends to be used as default, regardless of a woman's actual married status.

Here, it seems people go out of their way to avoid it. Like when I signed up for a bank account, and I ticked the Ms box on the form for my title, but the guy at the bank still signed me up as a Miss. Why fucking bother asking me for my title if you're just going to change it to what you think is best

I came across a drop down menu the other day that had Mr/Miss/Mrs/Mx/Dr/Prof as options but not Ms! It was a mandatory field too - I was so tempted to tick Prof but it was professionally related.

I've been Ms Gardens since I was 16 or 17. I've been married for nearly 20 years and have never used my DH's surname so both Miss and Mrs are inaccurate. I think I ticked Mx eventually but it does have a connotation of trans/non-binary and even though I like the term on a widespread basis, I'm not personally ready to use it myself.

Which begs the question, why do we need honorifics at all? I'm much happier being known just as my name.

I change fairly freely between Ms and Mrs and I don't think anyone has ever assumed I'm divorced when Ms. I have a number of friends, married and single, who are Ms all the time and again, I don't think they've experienced people assuming they're divorced.

Is it maybe an assumption made by the older generation?

I swap between Miss, Mrs and Ms as and when I feel like it.

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian - I get very angry when addressed as a 'mizz'. I am a Mrs

Sorry, yes, it must be very difficult when people call you the wrong title. It's almost as if they are downplaying your very considerable achievement of being married. What bitches (they're probably radical lesbian feminists).

Was Ms when I was single, am Ms now I'm married, will be Ms should I ever get divorced. I didn't realise it had divorcee connotations, and will continue to be Ms. I use my non married name professionally, and my married name at home - I'm sure it causes confusion but I don't care and DH couldn't give 2 shits about me using his name, my name or Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

Yes - I omitted to say in the OP that indeed, some people think of 'Ms' as a term for a radical feminist.

@IrritatedUser1960 Miss is ridiculous, I am not a 5 year old nor a cat loving spinster (well I am a cat loving spinster but lets not go there)

But why should 'Miss' imply those things, even in jest? As said upthread, it's all about women being classified in a manner that men just...aren't.

I'm married, not a radical feminist or a lesbian, and use Ms. Have done for decades, and never had a problem with it. I'm really surprised that other people have a different experience.

Is it maybe an assumption made by the older generation?

In my mid-60s, all my contemporaries are Ms. None have changed their names on marriage.

It's the younglings who go for Miss/Mrs. And change their names on marriage, I have disappointingly found.

Maybe we should just get rid of titles like Mr and Mrs?

We could all have one title.

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian - I get very angry when addressed as a 'mizz'. I am a Mrs

With a bizarre attitude like that, I doubt many people address you at all if they can avoid it.
It implies no such thing to sane people

What the fuck is Mx and how are you supposed to say it? Sounds wanky and unnecessary. Just don't use titles at all unless earned ones if you want to get rid of gendered titles.

I ask people to call me doctor. Saves a lot of bother.

*In my mid-60s, all my contemporaries are Ms. None have changed their names on marriage.

It's the younglings who go for Miss/Mrs. And change their names on marriage, I have disappointingly found.*

I changed my name on marriage but no one I cared about was disappointed. I've found that people my age generally don't give a shit - which is why I wondered if it was an older thing. I've got friends who took their husband's name, who didn't change their name, whose husbands took their name, and who chose a completely new name for both of them to take. There didn't seem to be any angst or trying to make a statement in any of the scenarios.

I changed my name on marriage but no one I cared about was disappointed I kept my disappointment to myself. Because I am polite.

I decided to become a Ms at 24. As with others, I thought (and still think) it's ridiculous that men get the same title their whole life and women's change with whether they are married or not. Not at all bothered if people think I'm a radical feminist, lesbian or divorced (I'm an intersectional feminist, pansexual co-habitor but that's all by the by), I just like to have that little bit of ownership over what my title is.

I've been Ms since 18, didn't change my name on marriage. I still get called Mrs Husband'sSurname (no, that's my lovely m-i-l) by people at school, and Mrs MySurname (no, that's my mum) by the GP receptionist. And I still get a double-take when I explain that my kids have my husband's surname, not mine.

I thought we'd done all this years ago, it's quite sad that it's still a complete mind-bend for some people that choose to use a title that doesn't specify my marriage status.

I have never heard of this. When I was a child I used it o think that a Ms was too old to be a Miss but for whatever reason didn't want to be a Mrs, either unmarried, or divorced, or didn't want to take husbands name