To be really annoyed with DD'a friend and her parents

[neverundersold]

DD was a passenger in a RTA this weekend, she sustained a minor head injury and is pretty shocked. The other passengers sustained bruising and shock also. The driver of the car was protected by the airbag and is physically unscathed. Thankfully no other vehicle was involved but the force of the crash has rendered the car a right off. DD has told OH and I that her friend who was driving had been driving recklessly all evening and showing off, at the time of the accident she was whistling out of her window at some boys and lost control of the car.. Since the crash DD has been in pain and remembering more details, she has become increasingly agitated and upset and is now pretty resentful towards her friend who is claiming that she can't remember what happened. The other passengers have also remembered the drivers recklessness and are also becoming resentful. One of the other girls parents has been ringing the drivers parents to discuss the incident and check her DD is ok but they are not taking her calls (driver has said they are deliberately not taking the calls) . DD is now really annoyed and disappointed that her friend is claiming no memory of the accident and feels she should at least admit what she did, added to this the friend posted pictures of herself on social media less than 24 hours later enjoying a night out with some other friends. OH and I are trying to support our child by letting her talk and tending her physical injuries bu every bone in my body wants to go round to drivers house and confront them AIBU ?

Yanbu to feel some anger at the the thought of what might have happened
It makes you think irrationally, but it will serve no purpose to blame the drivers parents, its really not their fault
How do you know the driver doesn't have memory loss, its a pretty normal reaction after a car accident

I really don't zee why you need to confront he parents, they weren't driving

If she was driving badly/erratically 'all evening' why didn't DD and the others get out? YANBU to be annoyed, but your DD is presumably an adult and she should take some responsibility for her own actions.

The parents will side with their dd so talking to them is highly unlikely to achieve anything.

I would say that your dd should end her friendship with this girl. I highly doubt there is any memory loss, just a desire not to be culpable.

Hope your dd fully recovers soon

How old are these dds? I would go round and speak to the parents actually

Do you have legal cover on your home insurance? If so, speak to them about what you can do.

Make sure you take dd to the hospital and docs to fully ensure medical evidence

Not sure why you are angry at the parents.

They were not driving. They were unaware their dd driving dangerously. Your dd was aware but continued to let her friend drive her around.

I am not saying your dd is to blame. But she knew more about what was going on, than the parents.

They dont have to discuss it with you. Its also possible the driver doesnt remember.

The parents have nothing g to do with this.
I would also speak to your dd about the importance of taking responsibility for their own action.
Whilst it isn't your dds fault, she has to be aware of making sure she is safe, and in future not accepting lifts from anyone who is unfit.
I'm not blaming your dd at all, just saying that I gave told my dc that if something doesn't feel 100% safe, then avoid at all costs.

The other parents are just doing what your trying to do and protect their daughter.

If the driver was acting recklessly it is likely she was egged on by the passengers. If they were not happy with the way she was driving then surely they could have asked her to stop?

I would talk to your DD about what she will do next time in a similar situation.

Right now she will still be a bit shocked and a bit angry but really the best outcome is going to be that this doesn't ever happen again to her.

Your DD needs to speak to the other girls and tell them what her decision is re the accident.

I agree the others parents are protecting their DD. They probably want to make sure she doesn't get a DD conviction and her insurance doesn't rocket too much.

If she's injured 4 passengers and written off a car then that is going to be a large payout.

Also agree your DD and her friends need to learn from this not to continue travelling with people they don't feel are driving safely.

Thanks everyone for your replies. DD and her friends are 17, DD did ask the driver to calm down but just before the crash they had agreed to head home but the driver suddenly took a sharp turn off the route and ended up crashing the car. DD said she had felt relieved they were going home but it all happened pretty quickly after that. I think my annoyance with the parents stems from the fact that if DD had been driving I would have been concerned for her passengers and felt compelled to contact the families to make sure they were ok. I totally understand their need to protect their child and respect that. I think DD is upset that ultimately this wii be a long standing friendship lost as she feels her friend put them all at risk by her actions and I tend to agree sadly. OH and I have stressed the importance of speaking out if you are not comfortable with another's actions but DD is not a confident person and so this is an area she finds difficult. Hard lesson learned for her I'm afraid.

What have the Police said? I'm assuming that if the crash was a right off and passengers were taken to hospital then they would have had involvement?

I'm afraid I would also be tempted to sue the twatty driver friend for injuries, as your DD is hurt.

(Disclaimer: I have been in a couple of accidents that were the other driver's fault and I didn't claim).

I hope your DD at least realises that this girl is not a good friend.

Police and ambulance at scene, policeman said typical teenage driving, he sees it a lot. Statements taken and at the scene they were all shocked and said they didn't know what had happened.

The driver and her parents have probably been advised by the insurance company not to discuss the accident. Hopefully the police attended the accident. Your DD could contact the police (with your support) re the accident. If you have household insurance check to see if you have legal cover, they can provide useful legal advice if not speak to a no win no fee solicitor. I hope your daughter has seen a doctor to get her Injuries noted.

Cross post, sorry

DD and her friends are 17, DD did ask the driver to calm down but just before the crash they had agreed to head home but the driver suddenly took a sharp turn off the route and ended up crashing the car.

She could have got out. And called you.

She decided to remian in the car. So holds more responsibility than the parents.

Maybe the parents have been advised not to talk. Maybe they think as she is old enough to drive, she is old enough to sort this herself.

Typical teenage driving means nothing. Doesnt always have to be reckless. It could be inexperience.

I think yiu also nees to ensure your dd wasnt encouraging in some way. Ie laughing at her antics.

She can contact the police again and say that she now recalls more details. TBH, if the driver is failing to take responsibility for her driving,
(for whatever reason), this might be important for everyone's safety, but your DD is risking friendships over it (probably not just with the driver) and her statement may not be enough to get the police to act. Otherwise, sue the driver and leave it at that. Your DD isn't wrong to be upset at what happened, but she needs to find a way through the anger to a resolution that she can live with - and for that she needs to be a bit realistic.

Too many young teenagers die in road accidents. I don't think it likely just the driver was just dicking around either. I always ask my dd how the driver drove ( best one was He s more cautious than you mum)

If the police were involved and it can be proved she may be charged with a driving offence. I had a crash aged 18 which resulted in a fine and points. Thankfully no one hurt and it was stupid rather than reckless.

I think it's incredibly difficult to speak up when being badly driven. Even for fully grown adults.
Do you know the insurance details? You need to make a claim.

It does sound like typical teenage driving unfortunately. It's very dangerous and hopefully the driver will have learned a lesson that it could have been much, much worse.

You could see a solicitor if you wanted - it will go via the insurance company but if it was only a minor injury and she won't suffer lasting damage, it may not be worth the hassle. I doubt the driver will be able to get affordable insurance for a good few years anyway. There is also a risk that your DD would be held to have contributed to the negligence if they were all in the car messing around, which would reduce any payout.

I suspect that maybe the no talking bit is because the driver will be charged for careless driving/dangerous driving and has taken legal advice and been told not to discuss the case, especially not admit liability in any way.

Ultimately though, it is the driver's fault, not her parents'.

You need to make a claim.

Why does the Op need to make a claim?