To be really annoyed with DD'a friend and her parents

[neverundersold]

DD was a passenger in a RTA this weekend, she sustained a minor head injury and is pretty shocked. The other passengers sustained bruising and shock also. The driver of the car was protected by the airbag and is physically unscathed. Thankfully no other vehicle was involved but the force of the crash has rendered the car a right off. DD has told OH and I that her friend who was driving had been driving recklessly all evening and showing off, at the time of the accident she was whistling out of her window at some boys and lost control of the car.. Since the crash DD has been in pain and remembering more details, she has become increasingly agitated and upset and is now pretty resentful towards her friend who is claiming that she can't remember what happened. The other passengers have also remembered the drivers recklessness and are also becoming resentful. One of the other girls parents has been ringing the drivers parents to discuss the incident and check her DD is ok but they are not taking her calls (driver has said they are deliberately not taking the calls) . DD is now really annoyed and disappointed that her friend is claiming no memory of the accident and feels she should at least admit what she did, added to this the friend posted pictures of herself on social media less than 24 hours later enjoying a night out with some other friends. OH and I are trying to support our child by letting her talk and tending her physical injuries bu every bone in my body wants to go round to drivers house and confront them AIBU ?

Your dd must be seen by a doctor to have the head injury assessed.
I would be reporting the accident to the police and insisting that the driver's insurance company are informed.
The other passengers need to write down what they can remember.
It is lucky nobody was killed.

Cross posted.
I see police are involved.

Why does the Op need to make a claim?

Agree. The only circumstances where I would say DD needs to make a claim is if she has sustained injuries that will cause her financial loss, such as needing to be off work, travelling to appointments, long-term medical conditions. Otherwise, she certainly does not need to make a claim. Large personal injury awards are paid because the victim will suffer significant financial loss as a result of the accident, not as a handout just because you were in a car crash.

Everyone will be in shock. The driver is probably petrified. Sounds like the police haven't pressed any charges and just put it down to that massive problem if immature teenage drivers with a lack of experience?

It doesn't need to be the end of the friendship, why doesn't your DD arrange for them all to get together not to discuss things but just to have a few hours together as friends.

Anger, upset etc etc are all normal responses but also aren't going to help any of them in the long run.

I also don't think parents being involved beyond supporting their own child is going to help anyone either!

Sadly it's a comon thing with teenage drivers, it happened a lot when I was a teen. I thought the law was going to change regarding teenagers having passengers in their car? Obviously it hasn't. I don't think new/young drivers should allowed to have 2 or 3 friends in the car because of distraction and showing off, I know not all teens are reckless drivers but it's easy to be distracted by others in the car.

I wouldn't try and contact the drivers parents or the driver, there's a chance the driver will be done for dangerous driving, she has also written off her car and probably feels quite embarrassed about what happens. Your dd will be ok, she's probably still in shock and a bit shaken, she has a right to be angry with her friend. There's not much you can do other than be relieved that things were not a lot worse.

How could the dd have got out of a moving car?

Were the Police involved? I would be going to the Police about that. It could have been a lot worse.

She could have got out.

Of a moving car...?

It could be argued that if your DD and friends weren't in the car, the driver wouldn't have been dicking about. These things are often a group mentality, without which none of the individuals would've acted as they did. Your DD is no doubt resentful now, and may well feel in retrospect that she wasn't confident to leave the car even though the bad driving had been going on all night. But at the time, she could well have contributed to the situation as they all did. I think it's normal to be upset and angry but the fact that it was going on all that time rather than a mad moment suggests they were all having fun, even if it doesn't feel like it now. I'd help your DD to learn the lessons and not ramp things up with lawyers unless she's genuinely in need of compensation for medical fees.

"How could the dd have got out of a moving car?"

Um, by asking her friend to pull over? There's no implication DD was abducted.

Your DD needs to grow up IMHO

This would be a dealbreaker in the friendship, it could have cost them their lives, dd told her to calm down beforehand. Teach your dd to be assertive, and if she knows a driver has been drinking, not to get in the car, and to call you, or a taxi. Make sure she has taxi money in her purse before she goes out. Lucky for the driver she has unscathed, it seems to be always the driver that walk away from these car crashes, sometimes fatal ones.

I doubt the driver will be able to get affordable insurance for a good few years anyway.

Come off it, she must have had insurance to be driving the car. If she was driving without it, the police would have found out very quickly and would have charged her. And if she wasn't insured, a claim could be made through the MIB.

Come off it, she must have had insurance to be driving the car. If she was driving without it, the police would have found out very quickly and would have charged her. And if she wasn't insured, a claim could be made through the MIB

Ceto, I meant AFTER the accident. I presume she was insured at the time of the accident. I just meant in the sense that if OP's DD was going to make a PI claim, I think her premiums would be unaffordable regardless of whether a claim is made so that shouldn't be part of the equation.

Must be horrible For your dd OP. Make a claim and then maybe your dd should stay well away from her driver friend. She sounds like trouble.

The only circumstances where I would say DD needs to make a claim is if she has sustained injuries that will cause her financial loss, such as needing to be off work, travelling to appointments, long-term medical conditions

Not so. OP's daughter is also entitled to claim for damages for pain and shock.

Make a claim? Really? How is that going to help the situation for either of the girls? It's not going to change what happened. Hopefully the driver has learnt her lesson from pure embarassement and writing off the car as well as the fact she's probably lost at least one friend for driving like a dick.

I don't understand your point, Papafran. Whether the driver is able to afford insurance after the accident is irrelevant to whether OP's daughter should claim now: the insurance in place at the time will remain valid.

OP's daughter is also entitled to claim for damages for pain and shock.

Its not so quite clear cut as that. Also entitled doesnt mean you need to make a claim or should make a claim.

Contact the police. Contact the insurance company. Basically take whatever steps you need to ensure she is not able to do this again.

I can't believe some on here are minimising the girls actions she is an adult who was driving a car, a potential killing machine. She was driving recklessly and dangerously, thank god she did not kill anybody. If she had done this on the motorway, there could have been fatalities. Prior to this, op dd told her to calm it, but she failed to listen. She at the very least, should have her licence removed, and told to take the test again when she's 21. The Police reaction is really shocking, so she probably seems she's indestructible and can do the same again. Yiur dd right to stay away from her.

'I would talk to your DD about what she will do next time in a similar situation.

Right now she will still be a bit shocked and a bit angry but really the best outcome is going to be that this doesn't ever happen again to her.'

Agree with this. I think it's just a supporting her type job, and discussing how she can be more assertive when she feels uncomfortable. All the comments saying she should have just got out show very little empathy. I can completely understand how she might have felt in a peer group at 17.

'I thought the law was going to change regarding teenagers having passengers in their car? Obviously it hasn't. I don't think new/young drivers should allowed to have 2 or 3 friends in the car because of distraction and showing off, I know not all teens are reckless drivers but it's easy to be distracted by others in the car.'

This is a great idea.

I think that's what Papa is saying, Ceto, that it "shouldn't be part of the equation". Same thing you're saying really.

I don't understand your point, Papafran. Whether the driver is able to afford insurance after the accident is irrelevant to whether OP's daughter should claim now: the insurance in place at the time will remain valid

Oh don't worry about it, Ceto, it probably doesn't make sense. Of course the insurance at the time is valid. I just meant that if the DD was worried that her friend's insurance premiums will go through the roof if she makes a claim, that is likely to happen in any event so as you say, should form no part of her decision. But as I said, don't worry about it and sorry for being confusing.

It's the very reason I never allowed mine to travel in friends cars until friends had been driving over a year crash free. Far too many youngsters are killed or maimed by inconsequential and inexperienced driving. It's worse if they have young passengers.
If your daughter was so worried why did she remain in the car? How can you be certain she wasn't also messing around but now changed her story as she 'remembers' things. Highly unlikely she suffered amnesia from a minor bump to the head, to be honest.