Poorly man shuffle

[Moussemoose]

AIBU to want to throttle the love of my life?
He's been poorly with a D&V bug. I've tended his fevered brow. I've cleaned the toilet - many, many times, I've made nourishing food, I have not complained about the smell or the noises, I've been sympathetic.
I am now fed up.
He is up and about but he is 'shuffling' he makes little noises when he lifts anything (like the kettle), he has a pained expression on his face, his sense of humour disappeared down the toilet with other things, he keeps saying "I'm fine" in a passive aggressive whimper.

I've had no alone time in the bedroom, anything from cutting my toe nails to waxing is a spectator sport to add interest to his day.

I love him. He is ill. I want to put him in a box in the loft for the next 20 years.

That's always how I know my dh is feeling better. When he is poorly he's not bother whatsoever, when he thinks he's still poorly he's worse then a toddler!!!!

You've got to love the sick voice - even better if it is combined with the dressing gown and stinky joggers of doom. Just paint a Red Cross on the front door and go away for the rest of the weekend.

My DH is banned from this behaviour. My rule is, if he must make annoying whimpering sounds he must do it where I can't hear him. Only people who behave in a normal fashion are allowed to be near me

TheWoollybacksWife

The 'sick voice' the fucking sick voice. "You just cook what you want I'll be fine' slightly quavery and accompanied by a pained expression.

A jury wouldn't convict would they?

Sounds like a complete drag OP.

At least you have managed to keep your sense of humour. This has made me laugh.

Ywnbu to put him in the lodt.

Loft

Mine hurt his hand the other day at work. Then started limping/shuffling too. Asked him if he had forgotten it was a poorly hand he had not a poorly leg.

Ffs.

The voice I hate is the one DH uses when I get some bug. His instant reaction is always "I hope I don't get it", but there's that slightly hopeful tone from which you can tell he really hopes that he will get it so that (1) he won't be expected to look after me and (2) he can have a lovely time telling everyone how much he's suffering.

Mine clutches his head, no matter what the problem.

"Oh no, have you got a headache?"

"No, but my knee really hurts"

Eh??

This has made me laugh.

I'm currently in a wheelchair after an horrific car accident 8 months ago.

DH had a cold man flu last week . There wasn't a lot of sympathy going round.

I'm so glad we're over it now

The l

even better if it is combined with the dressing gown and stinky joggers of doom. this made me lol, so true!

When dh gets the hoody of doom out I know the next few days are going to be filled with sighing and sniffing and whimpering. It makes me want to throttle him even though I'm a bit pathetic when ill too

It usually goes something like this:

Have you taken any painkillers?

1. No? Then don't complain.
2. Yes? Two? Like it says on the box? No? Then don't complain.

I always know things are bad when he starts gargling with TCP. Cures everything

Mine has "the stinky dressing gown of doom" he shuffles in with a pained expression and says "do you mind if I just lie down for 20 minutes?" using the poorly voice.

I want to strangle him with his dressing gown cord. I don't because I love him dearly but sometimes it's a struggle.

What is it about only taking one tablet? Do you only want to feel a bit better?

Mine clutches his head, no matter what the problem.

Mine does that.

In fact he did it this morning. Apparently his hip is playing him up again

Oh no can't possibly take medication. Apparently your penis drops off if you take two paracetamol. True fact.

LOFT

Mine burps horrendously when ill, even if illness is not digestive related. No idea why.

These replies make me glad I'm single

What is it with them and painkillers? My husband refuses to take more than one. I didn't know that fact Mousse but it makes sense.

I feel for you. Mine had his first ever case of haemorrhoids in the last few weeks. He's been walking like a damn Thunderbirds puppet everywhere and I've had a full report after every bathroom visit. Apparently it's the Worst Pain Ever (TM). Along with all the bloody groaning noises, I'd quite happily find a loft/basement to put him in.

I would actually be sympathetic, except for I've been suffering myself for the whole 4 months of my current pregnancy, and all I got was laughed at. Well, I guess the grape is on the other arse now, isn't it .

What's worst about the only taking of ONE penis-mutilating paracetamol is finding only 1 left in the box when I need one, thus having to drag my poorly body around the house to find its matching pair in another mostly empty box.

Just asked DH if he has taken painkillers. His answer..... 'not just yet. Don't want to waste them

I give up