To not let DD have any more friends round for the rest of the holidays?

[MainFlamingo]

DD (13) has been taking the piss pretty much all holiday, constantly bringing different friends round who don't respect other peoples' houses and make mess and are just generally uncouth.

Yesterday I went out and when I got home she had 7 friends round, and between them they'd moved all the sofas in the living room, put drinks on our brand new furniture with no coasters, spilt drinks over the sofa an d made a mess, and ordered a pizza which they'd eaten at the kitchen table and left it in a state with food smeared on the table and floor.

She's just let another friend round to 'use the toilet' who was on her period and said friend left blood all over the toilet seat, all over the floor and a used pad on the bathroom floor. I phoned DD and made her come back and clean it up herself, which caused a huge tantrum from her.

I'm just bloody sick of coming home and she's had another different friend round and whole place is dirty and a mess. I don't mind her having friends round that I know will behave and not trash the house but surely it's not part of parenting to just accept your home is going to get ruined?

AIBU to not let DD have any friends round for the rest of the holidays and then after that only let her have friends round that I know are well behaved kids?

Of course YANBU. The period thing is disgusting.

YANBU at all.

I would stop her friends from visiting FOREVER

YANBU

No friends round and I'd be giving her a lot more chores to help her realise she's not living in a hotel

She's angry with me now as her friend is upset that I was cross about the period blood! WTF?!

What the fuck

Did she bring skanky period friend back with her to clean up?

No she left that friend with some other friends and brought yet another random girl back with her when she cleaned it up

I have a really similar situation and our house has became the place where they all hang out.

She is an only and I go between making memories, welcoming her friends to do these urchins not have a home to go to.

No real advice she takes the piss when they all take over my living room and I'm holed up in the bedroom.

I always ensure they tidy up or she has to do it and they need to tell me if they are eating.

I sympathise but I also think teenage friendships are so important and I remember really fondly my friends mum who was so welcoming to me and was like a second mum

Why is her friend "upset"?
Does she think it is reasonable for someone else to have to clear up her blood and pads?

Yadnbu

Yes sometimes period blood gets on things and I wouldn't get cross if it accidentally dripped on the bath mat or something. But she'd obviously made absolutely no attempt to clean it up, it's easy to wipe it off a toilet seat, and left her used pad lying on your floor. That's disgusting.

Of course the general lack of respect for other people's things is definitely not ok, there's no way they can attempt to justify it.

She's showing you zero respect and your house too. I'd definitely stop them coming round for the reasons you've stated. That's seriously appalling behaviour and from her friends too.

She also keeps loaning out my bike to random friends and I've seen it's missing from the garage again. Going to put a stop to that too!

Surely people don't actually behave like this? A USED liner on the FLOOR? Food smeared on the table and floor? Does she hang about with animals? This is really beyond unreasonable. When I was a teenager (albeit it was many years ago now) we went out of our way to respect other people's houses! Wtf. I'm actually shocked.

Is your DD dirty too?

Do you know any of these friends and their parents? If so I would of taken pictures of what they've done and shown the parents! They cannot behave like this at home surely?

I'd say until your DD learns respect her friends done come at all, ever, she can go to their houses!

There's being welcoming and there's having people over who disrespect the space. Not on. DD2 is near that age, thankfully doesn't have friends who behave like that I wouldn't allow them over.

Urgh to the period blood - who on Earth would just leave their used pad and blood everywhere < not envy

Used pad on the floor that's grim and she should be banned from the house. Like another poster said a bit of an accident is exactly that. Flinging your sanni pads around without a care for where they land is grim.

No I'd absolutely ban her having friends over until she learns to respect your home. Because this isn't actually her friends fault entirely she's allowing this to happen. She knows your rules and she's the one ignoring them

'She also keeps loaning out my bike to random friends and I've seen it's missing from the garage again. Going to put a stop to that too!'

Mine would be grounded for doing that. I don't think she would, though, because we're pretty strict. She's very disrespectful and it sounds like she hangs out with pigs.

That period thing is vile! Yanbu, your child is behaving like one of those awful brats you see on American tv shows.

I'd probably go down the route of 'you can have friends over as long as you take care of our home by doing x,y, z.if you don't do x y z then that privilege stops, end of.

Be VERY clear with what your expectations are and the consequences. That said, the dirty skanky tramp that left blood and a used pad should be banned for being a minging tramp wtaf!

Good god, no, YANBU! A used pad left on the floor?! I'd have died rather than do that! Lock up your bike, tell her no more mates, give her some bloody chores to do!

Is she trying to buy friends?

I'd welcome them as long as they cleaned up after themselves and didn't damage furniture

No DJBaggy, I don't think she is. She's really popular and has hundreds of friends.