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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I beating unreasonable. I wrote a "bragging post " so yes but the replies got to me !

170 replies

Balletmummy25 · 25/08/2017 10:06

I know I know you bragging posts are annoying !
I was very proud of DD age 3, she had her development review with the community doctor on the hospital ward 3 days ago.

( spent 3/4 of her life in hospital, numerous surgeries )

I was very happy that she came out in some parts ( puzzles , fine motor skills in general , social skills and self caring ) above her age group only ever so slightly above !

Average in other things and below in other parts especially her gross motor skills and speech !

I shared this as family never really get to see her as spend most of her time isolated. Anyway it then followed with comments like

This surprises me I know she can't do the alphabet or count very well yet and " bob " has been doing that ages can't believe they said she was age appropriate.

Followed by

What type of puzzles is she doing as " george" has been doing 16 pieces puzzles for a while and they are the same age, is she still on the wooden pop in types ?!

OP posts:
grasspigeons · 25/08/2017 18:25

I'd be delighted to hear if a friends child had overcome struggles and they shared that news with me. Your post is fine - they are supposed to be friends.

sadly people don't seem to be very supportive of each other.

BlackberryandNettle · 25/08/2017 20:06

Mean responses from your friends.. you've been through a lot and have every right to celebrate good news for your daughter. Don't let it get to you.

KurriKurri · 25/08/2017 20:15

The evidence is that the OPs friends don't give a stuff

No it isn't - if you don't give a stuff you don't say anything, you ignore. OP's friends have shown themselves to be so competitive and unpleasant that they felt obliged to make nasty oneupmanship comments about a little girl who has had some struggles.

Who the hell says stuff like that ? How hard is it to stop yourself writing nasty stuff about a little girl.

How is it in any way normal or a majority view to take no interest in your friends' loved ones?

I care about all my friends and by extension(and also in their own right) I care about their children, spouses, and other family members, and am very happy to hear about their achievements or to offer support when times are tough. If I didn't feel like that, then I wouldn't call them friends, just people.

Original poster
Balletmummy25 · 25/08/2017 20:22

Thankyou will admit the once she is better she is no longer interesting a bit :0

But thankyou to the rest of you for your support.

OP posts:
Truzza · 26/08/2017 17:31

Delete them , these people are not your friends. Don't waste another minute of your life on them :)

sleeponeday · 26/08/2017 17:37

I know people who post photos of their kid's spelling tests when they get them all right - gloats on parent's evenings/reports day are the norm. That's a little trying. This situation is completely different! Your child has overcome huge hurdles and after all the fear and stress and concern, the relief you must feel is wonderful.

Can't begin to imagine what sort of an arsehole these people must be. You didn't write a bragging post. You shared your delight that your child is now past the worst and looking like the future is bright - something you could never be sure of. These women have always had that with their kids and they want to take away your joy?

Ignore them. Their kids have bigger problems than your own child ever has, with parents so wholly incapable of exhibiting basic human decency.

Flowers Lovely news about your DD, OP. That's brilliant.

sleeponeday · 26/08/2017 17:39

Apologies OP, I missed your update that your child is still very unwell. That should make this news all the more something good friends would celebrate. Or even people with basic humanity, in fact.

LinoleumBlownapart · 26/08/2017 17:40

Bob and George might be above average but it sounds like their mother's are light years away in their ability to function in an age appropriate manner on social media.
Congratulations on your daughter's success OP!

crazycatz · 26/08/2017 17:57

They are so mean!! I'm fuming for you op!! My daughter has spent a loads of time in hospital and it's so harsh. It's fab that she is doing so well. Well done you for getting her through all her admissions and still be providing her with enough learning opportunities that she is doing so well. Big hug! Xxx

8misskitty8 · 26/08/2017 17:59

'Bob's mum sounds like one of those loud parents who narrate their child's every move.

At 3 years old many children can't count or know the alphabet so being able to do that is nothing to be worried about.

I'm a nursery teacher and have come across quite a few 'bob's mother types. They push their children academically but important 'life' skills such as putting on a cost is viewed unimportant.

Your daughter has done really well considering the crap start she has had. You have every right to be proud of her achievements.
Hopefully there will be few hospital visits from now on. X

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/08/2017 18:02

OP that was a lovely update and your family should be delighted for your DD and you. Take no notice they are being spiteful.

Your DD is doing brilliantly. Congratulations to you both Flowers

WaxOnFeckOff · 26/08/2017 18:06

That wasn't even a braggy post OP Confused

Best response to these type of people is to ask them if blowing out your candle has made theirs burn any brighter.

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 26/08/2017 18:10

Your post was fine. Well done to you and your little dd. The counter brags say more about the poster than it does about you. Rise above X

eggsandwich · 26/08/2017 18:23

People are so competitive when it comes to their children they see any comment that another person has about their child's achievements as rubbing it in as if to say my child is more advanced than yours.

Speaking as a mother of a young adult who has severe learning difficulties I stay well away from any social media, as your well meaning celebration of your child's achievements can be misinterpreted.

I have grown a thick skin over the years, but I always find speaking to someone face to face gets a different response than when you write it down for all to see, so don't take it to heart.

I'm really pleased that your Dd is progressing well and just celebrate that fact.

mumto2two · 26/08/2017 18:28

I was always irritated by family members commenting on my eldest not being the sharpest tool in the family box. She struggled at junior school and we discovered she was dyslexic when she was 10. Was very proud to post on the family chat group when she aced her GCSEs, and even then they couldn't help but contain their surprise...Hmm

becotide · 26/08/2017 18:30

She's 3, it's entirely normal that she doesn't know the alphabet or 1-10. Ds2 didn't do either of those aged 3, and does splendidly at school. Ds1 did both, is autistic and at 14, still needs help showering and with shoes.

Moreisnnogedag · 26/08/2017 18:33

OP I'd certainly care if my friends kid went through hell and back and they had progressed so wonderfully. If someone doesn't care then they shouldn't say anything at all - only a monumental dick goes on to post a nasty comment trying to piss on someone else's parade.

You should have let the comments stand - if I'd seen that kind of comment I'd have adjusted my opinion on that person smartish.

Atenco · 26/08/2017 18:34

Congratulations, OP, on how well your dd is doing. You have every right to want to celebrate that and if I were your friend I would be so glad you decided to share that. As for the remarks of those two arseholes, their infantile competitive parenting would do my head in. I hope their children get a bit more emotional intelligence than they have.

Maireadplastic · 26/08/2017 18:41

Not remotely braggy, more relieved. If you were my friend, I'd be delighted for you both.

I'm a weirdo who doesn't do Fbook. Glad I don't.

MrsBobDylan · 26/08/2017 19:24

Your friends are bonkers. A good reason to have a sort out and discard these sort of competitive, boasting fuckers. Your post was lovely and any average person would be so pleased to hear how well dd is doing.

fluffiny31 · 26/08/2017 19:37

You should be proud of yourself as well as your dd. It takes a lot of support from parents to help children catch up. So well done to you both. Ignore the people that obviously take everything for granted.

ProphetOfDoom · 26/08/2017 19:41

It's your right as her mum to be proud of your little girl, especially since she's poorly & in hospital so much.

Life in hospital can cut you off a bit and you miss out on things others take for granted so f&f in particular should be sensitive to that.

My friends post updates about their children - not in a twattish way - and as their friend I'm pleased for them. Being a parent can be hard, lonely, worrisome - who can't empathise with that and want to share in the highs as well as the lows?

I know you've deleted your post but I would have replied something like: Idk hun about any of that lol. Just relieved and pleased to be able to post some good news about her progress.

Make her look a bit of a tit. And then thank others for their support /friendship/ understanding lol.

SideOrderofSprouts · 26/08/2017 19:48

I can remember my eldest nursery teacher moaning about how she didn't know her numbers and letters before starting reception

My stock reply was 'she's four'

Top in literacy in the year now

Your update would have got me giving a love reaction op. I like seeing how my friends kids are doing as well as my friends

inthekitchensink · 26/08/2017 19:51

Well done to you Both! It's a wonderful thing to see a child meet milestones after overcoming so much, congratulations you're both working hard to make progress & doing great :) fuck the rest and focus on that please

Thebearsbunny · 26/08/2017 20:16

I don't want to be part of your sex festival

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