Am I beating unreasonable. I wrote a "bragging post " so yes but the replies got to me !

[Balletmummy25]

I know I know you bragging posts are annoying !
I was very proud of DD age 3, she had her development review with the community doctor on the hospital ward 3 days ago.

( spent 3/4 of her life in hospital, numerous surgeries )

I was very happy that she came out in some parts ( puzzles , fine motor skills in general , social skills and self caring ) above her age group only ever so slightly above !

Average in other things and below in other parts especially her gross motor skills and speech !

I shared this as family never really get to see her as spend most of her time isolated. Anyway it then followed with comments like

This surprises me I know she can't do the alphabet or count very well yet and " bob " has been doing that ages can't believe they said she was age appropriate.

Followed by

What type of puzzles is she doing as " george" has been doing 16 pieces puzzles for a while and they are the same age, is she still on the wooden pop in types ?!

Your post isnt bragging, it's being happy that your child, who has faced significant disadvantages, is pretty much caught up to her peers.

If I saw that post from anyone I cared about enough to be fb friends I would be happy for them.

It's a special type of bitch who makes negative comments about any child but especially one who has been through so much already.

Be proud of your DD, she sounds like she's doing fantastic!

jay55 has it, I think. Unfortunately some people find it difficult to take pride in their own (or their own kids') accomplishments, so they try to make themselves feel better by looking at other people who are worse off and thinking 'If nothing else, at least I'm better than them'. Now your daughter's making such great progress, they're feeling threatened because they can no longer rely on feeling superior to your family.

Having once been like that myself I can tell you they're probably not enjoying it much either, and neither will their kids once they're old enough to feel the pressure their parents are putting them under to be the best. I would much rather have you as a mum!

Did you get her properly tested? I think you should. Many kids with health issues don't, and so truly gifted/talented kids often don't get noticed. My dd had delayed walking/crawling, can't catch a ball to save her life, but was talking in full sentences, and doing my 6 yo neice's puzzles/putting stuff together (and pulling it apart) and I never really thought it was special as I was focussed on her physical milestones. It took our childminder (family clubbed together to get one) telling us that she was being used as a calculator by 8yo cousin, and the nursery telling us that her reading and arithmetic skills were 'far beyond' a 2 yo for us to consider testing!

She is now doing extra, more challenging, work and is thriving. Still can't catch a ball to save her life though.

That is not a brag. Ignore the plonkers and come and post on here.

Well done LittleBalletmummy, and well done BigBalletmummy for supporting your dd so well!

Even if you were bragging (and I don't think you were), it seems that we've got to the point where saying positive things isn't allowed, it's all 'bragging', 'boasting', 'stealth boasting'...
Does no-one know how to just be happy for someone else any more, and a million times more for your wee girl, who's had a lot to overcome?

Your daughter sounds marvellous - and so do you! You have been through so much together. I think you are absolutely right to celebrate. Congratulations.

Your DD has done great!

I've never got this early years competitive parenting lark.

It varies so much, it generally all evens and out and please show me on someone's CV where it lists "age walked, first sentence, potty trained, slept through night from age x" But the way some parents talk about it you would think it was a massive indication of things to come. It's not, it just makes things easier for the parent in the short term as they have that little bit more independence.

DD2 didn't know her alphabet until about 5 1/2 or 6, couldn't do a puzzle to save her life and had no interest in counting at all but apparently she measures academically at an exceptional level. Maybe your DD will be the same.

Seriously though, I hate competitive parenting. Any time you want to brag about your DD we're here willing to listen.

That is probably a sign that you shared with a lot of people who don't care.

If you don't care why respond?

You shouldn't have deleted the post.

Something along the lines of "Oh, great, how long has X spent in hospital?" since he was born?

Or, to scale it down, you should have pointed out how much your DD has gone through.

You are completely entitled to be proud of your little girl, it's great she is doing well after all the problems she's had. Well done little one

My Ds (2nd child) was born with a major health problem, and spent much of his early life in hospital for procedures /surgery etc. Our HV didn't bother with his developmental checks, as he was so far behind, having Global Developmental Delay, she felt it was unfair to worry me further. He did not walk until he was nearly 2, and when he started school, he could scarcely make himself understood verbally, let alone hold a pencil and write his name etc. He too was good at puzzles, and showed ability where logic was required, but sadly lacked the majority of the basic skills required when starting school. I was just grateful that he was still alive, and well enough to go to school.
He did struggle through the early years, but in year s 5/6 he started to catch up.
He did well at secondary school, and despite major surgery at 13 (which set him back a little), he achieved mostly A*/As at GCSE, going on to 3 As at 'A' level. He is now in the final year of his degree at a prestigious University. This isn't a stealth brag, I just want Balletmummy to know that when your child has been though what ours have, delay is inevitable, and any step forward - no matter how small is to be applauded.
Well done to you both - forgive those who haven't 'walked a mile in your shoes' - for they will never understand.

Wow CookieSue, that's one fantastic story!

We should all remember that in the end everyone goes back to their own business and as long as people are doing their best or being encouraged to achieve their best, whatever that best is, then that's the main thing.

Primary Senco here - I think it sounds like she is doing really well (particularly given how much she's been through) and remember she's got another quarter of her life to go before she starts school. You must be really proud of her.

With regards to knowing her alphabet, when parents claim a young child knows the alphabet, they usually mean they can sing the abc song. My 2 year old can do that but he has bugger all understanding what it means. Knowing the alphabet is actually a relatively unimportant skill; what is far more important is learning to match letters with specific sounds (i.e. phonics). They'll start at the beginning with that when she starts at school, so there's really no need to worry about it if she's not doing that yet. It's only a minor thing in creating a development profile of under 5s; things like language development, play skills, social and emotional development and motor skills are much more important at this age.

Bloody meanies. You should be proud of dd and yourself. Ignore the keyboard warriors. Theres lots on here .

Einstein didn't speak until he was 5! Tell them to go fuck themselves.

Oh and people who think they're children are child geniuses because their children learn stuff parrot fashion? They're idiots. If a monkey did a jigsaw a 100 times I'm sure they'd do it well. Knowing 5 +5 is 10 is piss easy but can the kid do the workings of the sum?

I wouldn't class that as a bragging post at all. It's very down to earth and realistic. You're not making your DD out to be superhuman but just sharing that your proud considering everything she's been through. Well done to you and your DD. I care for a little boy with cerebral palsy who it 21 months. These milestones are huge for us. Ignore the ridiculous people

I think you know you can turn to for support and who to avoid.

Family members or friends who will have an idea of what she has gone through who then make that sort of comments are just mean.Its like they are happy to use her as a crutch to boost their own/their own dcs achievements and putting your dd down at the same time.

I would share your next review on here instead! Because I think your dd is doing VERY well and is clearly progressing very well. And yes this should be celebrated!

Well done MiniBalletmummy!

Fwiw at 3yo, I had one child who knew their letters, count etc..
And another who didn't.

They are teenagers. The one who didn't know how to count or their letters at age 3yo is doing just as well as their siblings. Actually I have less worry because the one who did (and is finding everything easy) has no concept of working to learn and is more likely to stumble hard before their A levels....

Your post was perfectly reasonable and does not come across as braggy. You absoloutely should feel pleased at your DD'S progress.

Those that commented negatively will have only shown themselves up to anybody who read their comments.

I wouldn't have deleted it, I would have shown them up for their pettiness. and called them on it reminding them that your dd has been in and out of hospital for most of her life, so to you it's a massive achievement. Fuckers! raining on your parade

You and your daughter sound delightful Ballet.

The others, not so much.