To wish parents wouldn't boast about their children's specific GCSE grades on social media?

[Screamifuwant2gofaster]

I've got no problem with messages like 'Congratulations Jake, you've worked so hard. You deserve this.'

I just hate it when exact grades are given. E.g. Congratulations Oliver on gaining 5A*, 3A and a level 8 in English'.

Just feels unnecessary and guaranteed to cause upset to others. Shouldn't we be encouraging our children to just do the best they can? Success will be different for different people.
Of course teenagers will share their grades themselves anyway.
I've got a friend whose daughter got very high results...the parents put the results all over social media. How proud they are of their 'genius, perfect daughter'. Their other daughter is a year younger...she is far less academic. Not likely to achieve anything like sister's grades. Wonder how she feels.

What do people think?

PaganGoddessBrigid Thu 24-Aug-17 17:50:13
I feel embarrassed for the people doing it. There's a very sweet woman who isn't overburdened with intelligence herself. She posts such mediocre achievements, I end up feeling bad for her.

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But why? Why now just think that it is nice that she is celebrating achievements however small they seem to you? Or can people only celebrate the top attainment in things? No wonder that there are a whole bunch of 16y today sad and feeling like failures because they only managed grades B and C, rather than being pleased they've actually passed a whole load of pretty hard exams.

I think it's a sad day when people begrudge others for being proud of their kids achievements (no matter how small). I personally think it's great.

There is nothing wrong with congratulating your child. If you want to do that you can - you know SPEAK to them. Grandparents can ring them up and SPEAK to them. All good. Posting it all over fb is just crass and done solely to show off. Anyone who is genuinely interested in your child's success will call them and SPEAK to them.
Somehow - god knows how. I managed to get through o levels . Alevels, driving test , degree, and childbirth - without the slightly pathetic and needy requirement to notify people who didn't ask to know.
We all survived !

My youngest did well. We will go out this evening to celebrate with the people for whom this is actual news. Not one of her friends has posted exams grades on social media despite most achieving top grades. When I asked why, she said it would be 'gross'.

I don't agree.

I've put pictures of ds wearing his swim medals on social media - should I not do it because no one else I know children will get silver/bronze medals.
He also celebrates a friend he met on holiday (also a swimmer who is at a far higher level) and we've arranged to go and support her at a gala in a few months that's only 45 minutes from us.

Ds will not be passing gaining high level GCSEs. His disabilities mean his talents lie elsewhere.

A girl o know posted her results (tagged her mum which is how I saw it) and posted her X A/B/C's and said ignore the rest (D/E) as they don't matter.
I posted she should be extremely proud and instead of being negative about the poorer subjects for her she should have posted "yay X amount of A/B/C and become 3rd in England at her sport she trains in". I said be proud of her achievements and highlight them rather than draw attention to her weaknesses. (She's right tho that they don't matter!)

they set the grade boundaries precisely so that only 0.35% can get a 9

Hahaha! I'm sure the DCs who got 9's wish they were one of only 0.35%!

It's higher than that; according to the media, in English Language 3.2% of the grades were 9's, in English Lit 2.2% and in Maths 3.5%.

I think it's a bit insensitive, but don't worry OP, by the time they have graduated or been working for 5 years and completed an apprenticeship you can look back smugly and know that their GCSEs were really quite irrelevant.

I think it is embarrassing when parents do this! Such bad form, so cringey too!

My DC would hate it if I did that

*"Success in gcse isn't just about hard work is about inherited intelligence"
*
Success in a lot of things is usually about genetics and inheritance of something.
Should we stop Adam Peaty posting on SM about his achievements. Or Bolt or Farah.
Or gymnasts who obviously inherited flexibility or swimmers who inherited long arms?

Success is always formed from genetics - but what you do with those genetics is what counts and being top of something requires hard work whatever your starting point.

I wouldn't do it precisely because I wouldn't want to be seen as boasting about it, so I'd do the generic "well done on results, so proud, he's worked so hard" style instead.

Success at GCSE is 99 per cent hard work and 1 per cent genes. I know - got my A stars and As with severe dyslexia by working 2-3 hours a week.

Op, your is showing.

I've only seen generic ones so far - and would only post a generic one when my ds gets his in 2yrs time. I hate the ones that just shout "perfect child"!

Back in my day (well it stopped a year before my gcse results thank god) all gcse results were in the local rag for everyone to take a look to see how your child had done.

It was a very long list with name of child, subject and grade 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

Success at GCSE is 99 per cent hard work and 1 per cent genes. I know - got my A stars and As with severe dyslexia by working 2-3 hours a week.

It's really not. People who are more intelligent (higher IQ if you like) will do better with less work than people with a lower IQ.
It's not fair but that's life.

I dare say if someone posted they were proud of Johnnys 5d's because he'd worked bloody hard to achieve them, no one would have an issue with it. Or if Johnny won the county chess tournament, or if Johnny won Wimbledon.

I don't disagree with you as such OP, but I don't understand why high academic appraisal on social media isn't acceptable but appraisal of other things is?

Mother of a student I taught last year did this. Posting left, right and centre about his A/A*s.
Turned out he'd forged his results sheet. He got all Fs and Gs and we teachers had been trying to tell/help them for years.
Mum found out when certificates arrived in the post.

Having dealt with this mother and her son for only 3 years a small part of me did smile inside.

I have refrained from posting my ds's result a solitary B - but I am immensely proud as ds has just turned 13 and did his course in Thinking and reasoning in y8. I have been messaging aunties and Uncles and Grandparents of course.

I probably won't post the grades ds gets in 3 years either, but I can totally understand the impulse. Your kids work hard they get a good result they deserve recognition and celebration for their efforts. Social media is one platform for this.

I don't think it's just the parents with child genius' though. My feed is full of parents who are proud of whatever results their child has achieved, I think the assumption here is that parents who have children with c's will somehow be upset by those children who got a's.

I agree with this. I praise my kids on FB, and I "like" and comment on other parents' praise of their kids, regardless of the achievement. If you work hard and do your best and a C is the result, I think that's amazing.

As others have observed you can feel pride without having to broadcast it to the world. Emotions are not more deeply felt for being made public.
In the days before social media the only children whose results were publicised were those who had achieved something truly remarkable. Which was as it should be. You may have a clutch of good GCSEs but you do not thereby become someone of who the world will take notice, sadly. You still have a long way to go.

I'm finding that the kids themselves aren't posting on Facebook but the parents are. I don't mind. It's good to be proud and to celebrate hard-won achievements. That's life - not everyone wins a prize, but those who do should be congratulated.

A nice girl from my school year left at 16 to work in a factory back in the late 1980s. Her only child got into Oxford a couple of years ago. Hell yes she boasted about it on Facebook.....and I couldn't have been happier to see it.

The begrudgery is pathetic.

Most of my fb friends have dc just going up to y11 as do I and I expect and hope that they do post as we have been friends/acquaintances since the dc were all in nursery together. We have moved away and don't talk an awful lot but would love to know how they all get on.

I will also be posting my DD's results for the same reason and I don't see any problem in doing so as said up thread a football match race or dancing competition would be posted without a second thought same for exams.

I totally agree with you. No need to put the exact grades.

A general "I'm proud" post should be sufficient.

Gosh there is a lot of sour grapery here. As the median number of friends people have on Facebook is 200, and the updates you see on your news feed is a proportion of those friends then posting about your childs exam results is not really a "broadcast to the world".

Tacky to celebrate success and being proud parents? Please... How about being happy for them and the child who worked hard to get these results.

Well done to them -and their parents who most likely supported and encouraged them to do so well.

There is a kid next door who, against popular opinion both from school and family, totally smashed it. She is a shy, sweet kid but she was over the moon. She knocked on the door and just shoved the papers into my hand then skipped around.
I was touched that she shared it with me and the look on her face made me cry. what got to me the most was that SHE told me. Face to face in real life and we both enjoyed her moment.
Thats why I think the FB thing is a bit blech. The emotion of the moment gets taken out of it.