To wish parents wouldn't boast about their children's specific GCSE grades on social media?

[Screamifuwant2gofaster]

I've got no problem with messages like 'Congratulations Jake, you've worked so hard. You deserve this.'

I just hate it when exact grades are given. E.g. Congratulations Oliver on gaining 5A*, 3A and a level 8 in English'.

Just feels unnecessary and guaranteed to cause upset to others. Shouldn't we be encouraging our children to just do the best they can? Success will be different for different people.
Of course teenagers will share their grades themselves anyway.
I've got a friend whose daughter got very high results...the parents put the results all over social media. How proud they are of their 'genius, perfect daughter'. Their other daughter is a year younger...she is far less academic. Not likely to achieve anything like sister's grades. Wonder how she feels.

What do people think?

Wow. Of course OP, people should downplay their child's achievements. How dare they be proud and want to show off a little.

Some serious sour grapes on this thread.

I too can't stand those FB posts!! It is the height of insensitivity, especially to those who have a child sobbing in their room because they didn't get the results they worked hard for and now think their lives are over....

I took dd to Nando's today (her choice ). It was rammed with year 11s on phones talking about their grades and everyone else's. the kids know, and they're proud or not accordingly. I am very proud of dd's results, but I do think listing them is a bit naff and unnecessary, for me to my friends. For her to hers: fine. And inevitable.

Nope I'm going to brag everywhere. My daughter was/still is in hospital for the entire of year 11 and had major surgery as well as a serious infection during the exam period. Her grades are awesome.

Sorry but its the one time ever i've boasted about dd on fb. Never done the gushing about reports or parents evenings but i flipping well will for gcses.

Plus it save me messaging various relatives seperstly.

I agree with you OP. YANBU.

My son and his friends and his friends parents just put the congratulations bit. (I know their children all got as and bs).

It is just to say your child did well and to congratulate them on what was a very hard exam season.

Thankfully I know no one who put down the actual results.

I don't have a problem with it at all so YABU.

If you do very well, people get to know about it. In my experience, though, people like you a lot more and are a lot happier for you if they don't think you are an enormous show off. People are likely to admire you more if they have reached that conclusion themselves, rather than because you've told them how great you are.

Of course there's nothing wrong about being proud of your children. I'm immensely proud of mine. But posting about their achievements all over social media wouldn't make me any prouder.

My DD2 got 7A* and 5As at GCSE.

Brilliant result I hear you say! (Most of the A* would have been 9s).

Now how did she do at A levels? Not great!

Though she did get a first from the University of Manchester in History and Economics.

While I didn't post DD2's actual grades on Facebook, I certainly praised the fact she got the grades she needed in her Highers to get into the university course she wanted to do. When she passed her university joint honours with a 2:1, I shouted it aloud to the world, because I am so very proud of her and all the hard work she has put in. I then trumpeted to the world that she is going on to do a Master's in September and I have absolutely no doubt that I will be crowing when she graduates a year come November. Why shouldn't I (and she) be proud of what she has achieved? It has not been easy for her, as she has severe dyslexia and was doing two difficult subjects as a joint degree.

As other PPs have said, just because everyone hasn't got a A or A* or whatever doesn't mean that they didn't excel. We can't all be chiefs - some of us have got to be Indians Native Americans and do the grunt work. That does not mean that what they have achieved is not as important as the ones who did better. It just means they are different and I would hope that their parents will show that they are just as proud of the ones who got a C or D or whatever.

There is no shame in not being academic and not all non-academic DC are sporty. They all deserve praise for doing their best.

One child on secondary school thread unable to be proud of 5A*s and 5 As - how sad is that? Where has that pressure come from?

I don't know whats right - I'm a teacher and am proud of my students who do well, no matter what 'grades' they get - it is all relative.

I'm also Mum to a non-academic DD who has suffered from having friends who are 'more clever' than she is - it has been quite heartbreaking to see her work to hard through Y11 and not achieve grades her friends have found easy to get. However, today she has done well - better than expected, she is pleased for her friends who have done 'better' than she has but most of all she is proud of herself which is delightful to see.
Maybe she did listen when we had those conversations ..................

"Your friends kids doing better didn't make your kids do worse. That's not how it works"

er, isn't it? I mean with the new GCSE grading regime, they set the grade boundaries precisely so that only 0.35% can get a 9. And adjust the boundaries accordingly down (I thought) so that almost fixed percentages get each mark; it's semi-Bell curve. So basically, my neighbour's 6 could mean I get a 5.

I went to school in a system like this. My good grades pushed down others. We survived. But in retrospect, it's not very nice.

On social media, I guess for me, Fine to say "I'm so happy because my boy got good results!" or "We're delighted that Sophie got the grades she needed for Bloggs college" but going into specifics.... like saying pointedly "9 x A* and These are the best possible results anyone can get!" ... it's a bit naff.

I posted proudly on FB when DS2 received Entry Level 2 maths just as proud when DS1 got his string of A*-B at GCSE; YABU why can't we shout from the hills when we are proud?

My son did absolutely brilliantly but I have only boasted to DM and DPIL.

I think it's fine and would expect it and obviously some parents are over the moon at their children's results.

It's all relative though. It's not the difference between Cs and A*s to me but where are all the congratulations to pupils who got D-G and worked really hard to get there? Or my dc in special schools who will hopefully achieve their potential but nowhere near gcse level. I think most people mix in circles where these children don't exist.

My DD asked me to do this today!!

I am incredibly proud of her. She's not a straight A across the board student, she has dyspraxia and chronic health issues and she worked her little socks off. She deserves recognition for that. She ended up with a wonderful set of grades, some amazing surprises, one she was disappointed with (still a pass). But the thing was I wanted to celebrate her. And lots are celebrating with me. There isn't enough celebration in this life, so why not? It's not like I'm boasting that she's so much better than other people's children. Just that I'm proud of her.

Lots of my friends have posted theirs too.

If you don't like it don't 'like' it.

Be proud of every achievement.
Do not tolerate bias against any form of achievement.

What do I think? I think standards have massively slipped since I sat my exams - school and university.

I think calling their dd "Perfect daughter, a genius" is over the top. Congratulating hard work is fine, no need to be so gushing..

I feel sorry for her younger less academic sister. I had an impeccably behaved hard working older sister and was always compared unfavourably at school and it did damage our relationship. It created a lot of rivalry between us.

I wonder if anyone posts how proud they are of their children for doing the best when they have revised and sat the exams (i.e. Back in June)? That would be nice. That is what we as parents should be proud of.

Saying that, I think parental posts saying they are "very proud of Jonny's excellent GCSEs today" are fine. I don't think specific grades should be posted by parents though- that's not fair to your child. It's not your news.

I think the issue is that it's not a level playing field. My son (16) is really really bright. This isn't nurture, it didn't come from me, it's just one of those things.

So his best is astounding and I am well aware that it will make my friends feel crap so I just say that he did well. But I have other sons who, however hard they try, won't get the high grades. I will be just as proud of them and probably will boast about that a bit more.

DS2 has received his GCSE results today.

Not one parent on my FB feed has mentioned specific grades. The school FB page & Twitter feed has though.

Actually on my FB most people have just been doing the "Congratulations' messages without the grades - have commented on this today talking with a friend as it seems big change from previous years where there were grades all over the place.

i have no intention next year of posting DD's actual grades on FB - I will probably have some form of status linked to results in general, Im sure I won't be immune to that. But definitely not grades - they're not mind to post anyway.

However, it doesn't bother me when people do post them. I see no difference really in someone posting that their child has A stars and 4 As over someone posting that their child came 1st or 2nd in the latest swimming gala and getting a high mark in a dance or music exams.

These are the same parents whose kids walked at 3 months old and were able to write full sentences and play the piano at 2. Plus ca change.