dd is only going to use gender neutral stuff for her dd?

[ioliverielinor]

hiya,

just looking for views really. is this the new modern parenting? dd2 is expecting a dd herself and has said she would only like gender neutral gifts, i was a bit upset because i think there are some lovely girls clothes, i said will she never put her in dresses, she says no. im a bit surprised really, but yet she is happy to have her hair long, etc.??

just curious if this is the norm now? i have never really heard of it before, dd1 has 3 dc different genders and never had an issue buying them boys and girls items.

im not judging, but think its slightling strange? aibu?

but know none (sad) who would low a boy to be dressed in stereotypical 'girl clothes'...

I know and it's sad.
Men should be the ones pushing for more freedom in how they dress. As women we can't do it for them. But I don't think men in general will be happy wearing lesser women stuff. It turns out that they'd rather be seen as women than as men in female clothes. (but that's a whole other set of threads )

Jools Oliver's clothes line for Mothercare (if she still has it) is nice and bright and neutral. A very 70s vibe.

We didn't really go gender neutral but I warned everyone off of anything too girly when we found out I was having DD. I'm not a pink and frills kind of person to be honest and seeing baby's in huge poofy dresses and big headbands just makes me sad.

We have more girly stuff now and some dresses that are cotton or jersey from the heatwaves we have had on and off but now DD is 8mo and crawling in finding leggings, t shirts and rompers/all in ones the best things. Dresses and really not easy to crawl in!

www.mothercare.com/clothing/little-bird/

yabu
we told my mil the same or she would have gone overboard with pink/blue clothes
the main rules we still have is a) no camuflage patterns b) either frilly or pink

I tried gender neutral as much as possible with my DD on the presumption I could reuse it if we had a boy as #2. Now she's getting a bit older, I prefer boy clothing, which is normally better quality for playing in (the jeans at least are!).

I dressed my two in the same sort of neutral stuff I wear myself. Grey, navy stripes, mint, cream etc. No jeans as they impede movement. Not many ruffled stuff but the occasional one for a party. I bought some lovely Liberty print vests/suits from Uniqlo, some floral, others other Liberty prints and they were worn by both daughter and son. Neutral dressing does not have to equal beige at all.

jakoo: great unisex and colourful stuff

without knowing your daughter's reasoning.. i can only say respect her wishes and wait and see who this new child is!

maybe she will turn out to be a pink glitter sparkly princess fairy type of girl.. some just are attracted to all that sparkles!

Will we have an army of beige children ?

I think this will happen! Becuase someone will decide that now pink and blue are outlawed two other colours are now deemed the sterotyped colour of choice until all we have left is black, white and beige.

Completely avoiding any type of clothe is crazy imo just buy what you like ffs! One day i might be feeling flowers, another day dinosaurs what's the issue?

Buying neutral clothes for a newborn - perfectly acceptable and if it's your first child very practical so can pass stuff down to the next child as baby clothes are normally like new when they are grown out of.

It I do hate this whole girls should no longer like pink and play with dolls 'it's so sexist' things that is popular at the moment surely the best way to bring up your child is not to even think about it - if they like pink hey like pink, if they like cars and trucks that's what they like? It feels like we've gone from forcing girls to like pink to forcing them NOT to like pink.

When DS1 was 2 he had a pink sparkly scarf, I wasn't making any political statement it was just what he liked and wanted at the time, likewise DD never wears dresses, (realised when packing for holiday that she had outgrown all hers and I hadn't replaced them as she just doesn't wear them) she is girly (has a fucktonne of JoJo bows and likes painting her nails, she just like to wear shorts and trousers. Her choice.

I feel at the moment the whole gender neutral thing has gone crazy, it's like telling everyone that they should now be bisexual, nothing wrong with that but there's also nothing wrong with being straight or gay etc

My mum brought gender neutral clothes for both me and my sister when she was pregnant because she didn't know the sex.

When she was pregnant with me, someone she worked with was insistent I was a boy. She brought me all blue clothes. I was dressed in it, along with my gender neutral clothes - I look back through my baby pictures and I can't see any pink clothes on me. I think I look cracking As I got older and chose my clothes, I usually picked shorts and trousers.
I don't really wear dresses or skirts, never really have.

My sister was raised wearing the same (apart from the blue bundle of clothes given) and she loves dresses/skirts/shorts/trousers equally and has no preference!

I was determined to be like this with DD1! Didn't know the sex so it was easier and DM and my siblings very sweetly bought me gender neutral stuff. MIL bought me EVERYTHING in pink anyway and 5 years and another DD later my house is covered in pink sparkly stuff and despite my pushing of tasteful Swedish clothes in primary colours, both DDs want to wear tutus every day. I'd go with what your DD2 wants, there will definitely be time to buy pretty dresses at some point.

We did this 16 years ago when DD was born. We never wanted her to feel constrained to gender stereotypes. We bought some gorgeous white and lemony type things, we were given some pink dresses so she had them too but much preferred her bright romper playsuits. She went through a twirly princess stage about 4 to 7 but this was her choice, and she then vowed to never wear a dress again and has pretty much kept to it. Also did the same with toys, avoided anything that looked like it should be for girls, her favourite toy as a toddler was her Bob the Builder toolbox. Did the same when ds was born. It's not about a fashion, it's about not bending to daft stereotypes that mean very little and saying that if you are a boy and like pink then you must be trans or whatever. We wanted to bring our DC up with the understanding that they could be who they wanted to be, not who society forced them to be.

Can't see the harm. But this sort of thing when you're pregnant with your PFB generally doesn't last long because you get presents in pink and eventually you just want whatever is clean and to hand rather than being picky over colour.

And eventually you see something pink/blue which is cheap, good quality, lovely design and would really suit your child so you get it anyway. And to my mind that's what real gender neutrality is anyway, putting your child in whatever looks nice and is practical regardless of colour and style. Not putting them in all yellow and cream.

I assume the OP has bought her other DD's girls madly frilly pink outfits and newborn boys blue cars/ dinosaurs /army surplus look camouflage trousers... Or everything covered in "Daddy's little Princess" "Mummy's little soldier" ... Perhaps gender neutral is easier than just saying "your taste is terrible"...

Gender neutral baby clothing isn't about denying the biological sex of a child - it should just be about practical clothing (which can mean tights / leggings for boys as well as avoiding frilly monstrosities for girls) and being aware that there is tendency for people to treat small children differently based on whether their clothing suggests they were born with or without a penis ...

Nothing wrong with it at all

I'm with your DD

But I'm in my 40s so when I were a lass, clothes and toys and books were just that really. You didn't get hideous "mummy's princess" babygrows!

I think gender neutral is frivolous actually. I mean IMHO girls should only wear dresses when and if they wish to, as they seriously inhibit play, and children should be allowed to play whatever games with whatever toys they wish, but this problem is societal and requires societal action.

I don't really think it matters if you get it or not, it's not your choice.
My daughter is 4 she has an amazing pink tutu that she wears with a blue Thomas the tank engine tshirt. I let her get whatever clothes she likes be that boys or girls.
I don't like all beige clothes just because I like colourful things but I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks.

On the boys wearing girls clothes though -

tights are practical in cold climates and German preschool boys all wear tights under their snowsuits, and run about at Kindergarten in a vest and tights (as do the girls - Kindergartens always have underfloor heating, smowsuits on to go out).

Leggings are really practical but for some reason "girl" clothes - ideal for crawling babies and toddlers of both sexes.

For older children I do have a DS who was funny about clothing textures for a long time and preferred jogging bottoms, but we discovered (because by luck he has a same size sister) that he was happy to wear girls' jeans - I agree they are typically less sturdy, but the flip side of that is they tend to be softer! You really can't tell once on except that they are "left handed" (as he put it) so for several years he only wore girls jeans (he's far less fussy now and boys stretch jeans have become more common).

Dresses on none-walking child is just not practical. However at 4 DD has decided she likes dresses as they aren't tight on her tummy - but once tights are back in the picture for winter she might prefer leggings and tops again.

Just buy clothes that could be passed down to a younger brother, doesn't have any fastenings on the back, or needs to be ironed.

When your dgc has got to 4ish, your DS might be more relaxed - although I still return the mountains of party dresses my mum buys for t-shirt dresses.

I absolutely agree dresses should be "allowed" if its the child doing the choosing. Nobody should be forced to wear an impractical, uncomfortable item of clothing, but nothing wrong with a comfortable summer dress or a swirly twirly dressing up dress for a child who can walk (not practical pre walking).

It's kind of funny because all boys in DS's football team wear leggings in winter under their football kit, but of course they're not leggings, they're "thermal wear" or some such nonsense.

Not 'modern parenting' at all - I tried to avoid all the stereotypical stuff with my DCs nearly 40 years ago! Meanwhile both the great grandmas insisted on buying pink frilly dresses - why?! My DGD is nearly four and my DD has always avoided the ghastly pink girlie clothes, but ...... pink is now her favourite colour and that's fine now she's old enough to choose for herself.