AIBU to have such humiliation over this Poo Story...

[DailyFailProtection]

Ok, so, disclaimer: I have gratuitously posted here for traffic, and reassurance. Not for the faint hearted, squeamish people stay away! Meant for the light of heart.

With that in mind, this has happened today:

I am on holiday, somewhere very hot, very sunny, with some ancient civilisation history, and a dearth of public conveniences. I am with an autistic 9yo, a 1yo, as well as a friend.

Today I hired a car, and drove two hours to look at some ruins, have lunch, and stop off on the way back at various spots. However, after 9yo having a spectacular meltdown in the restaurant, I decided to forgo the stop offs and just head back to the hotel.

We were about 45 minutes from the hotel, when the hideous pains of IBS started, despite having taken preventative Imodium.

As we drive along, it's becoming more and more urgent, so my friend who was navigating told me to pull off at the next exit, which I did.

At this point I was nearly crying with the effort of holding it in, and feeling sick to boot. The baby was crying, the 9yo was grumbling, and I was touching, well, cloth. (I'm sorry, there's no more delicate way to describe the urgency of the situation)

Long story caught short, we pulled into what can only be described as a lay by married with a side street off the main drag, where I jumped out and shielded by the car did what I had to do, into a nappy, which in all honesty wasn't up to the job.

Cleaned up and came home. (Thank goodness for baby wipes!)

The mortification is real, whilst I see the humour in the situation. My friend was amazing and supportive, and said she thought everyone has one if not more horror stories of a similar vein. I think she's wrong, and most people are like her and hold it for as long as they need!

With that in mind, and to alleviate some of my shame and embarrassment, would you share yours?!

You want us all to share poo stories?

I don't think so.

I was feeling nauseous in my first ever board meeting. After keeping it in for as long as poss, I ran and threw up in a bin. I sharted with the force.

It was mentioned in my leaving speech 15 years later.

I sneezed and shat myself once.
Pure random.
Thankfully I was sat in bed wearing trousers, so I waddled to the bathroom, peeled them off carefully and threw them in the washing machine with half a box of detergent and then cleaned up all I could with tissue and bathed.
No one except mn knows this.
I have no idea why it happened and I'm always terrified it'll happen again

Not me, but my supervisor at work years ago in an office at a new car show room suddenly had bad stomach pains and got up and walked across the showroom to the toilet, and there was drops of runny poo all across the showroom. I went into the toilets not realising what had happened and found her standing in her knickers and bra washing the skirt part of her dress.

At least you weren't at work, the car salesmen made jokes about it for years.

CrunchyMum, the beauty of mumsnet, is that it's voluntary. Share or don't share, but no need to be snarky!

Solaris - that made me laugh, I'm so sorry for your experience for you, but grateful I'm not alone!

Queen - perhaps it never will! Thank goodness you were home!

I sneezed and shat myself once.

I laughed much too hard at that. Sorry.

I've never eaten quorn since the time I ate an entire packet and innocently farted and shat myself about an hour later. I honestly had no idea it was coming.
Thankfully I was on my own at home and no one other than Mumsnet knows that story either!

DS2 (4) had a dreadful accident in the communal pool on our first day of a holiday. It had to be evacuated and closed for two days for cleaning. So we were popular with the other holidaymakers, who had to then get a bus to the beach instead while the pool was out of use...

Seemingly a lot of people have bad experiences with quorn

I was having work done in my bathroom so couldn't use the toilet, The need arose and I was desperate, So I relieved myself using my dd's potty and then Used baby wipes to put it into a triple bagged nappy sack and put it in the outside bin.
The Potty was then bleached and washed

After I had my third degree post-birth tear and was really struggling to poo without screaming, I was put on some fairly powerful laxatives.

I took the first sachet and went about my day. I farted on the sofa. Didn't feel the need to actually poo, so assumed I was safe.

I was not safe. At all.

Frequent toilet activity caused by ibs and inadequate plumbing resulted in an explosion of poo in a swanky LA hotel room on a work trip.

I hid in a duvet fort while the cleaning and maintenance people cleaned it up. And it was bad.

Mortifying but I use it as a benchmark of clarity. I can get through anything.

First ever post...

Let's just say that on a dog walk, pooch wasn't the only one to leave a pile behind. I should say it was in a very very isolated area with no one around and I was very very desperate.

I have to stop reading this at work because it is making me laugh so much. My poo stories are not related to not being able to control it, rather to poor judgement.. did a big one my first week at a new work, one loo, could NOT get it to go down. Ended up (inspired by a friend of mine who had had a very similar situation) fishing it out, gently mummifying it in about a mile of loo roll, and casually taking it outside to bury in the skip.

Not mine but DH's.

DH farted and realised that it made DD2 (about 2 years old at the time) giggle unstoppably. So he did it again. More giggles. And again. Uncontrollable giggles this time.

So he tried again, and shat himself.

DS1 once shat himself liberally all over a lovely hotel lobby in Cyprus. It was like a waterfall down his legs directly from hell.

DS2 once shat all over the floor at the Good Food Show whilst eating a biscuit. That one was like Vesuvius - front and back of his jeans were like a fountain of shite while he continued to eat.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be humiliated. You had to take a dump in the street or poo yourself, that's pretty bad.

How rude crunchymum

On the phone on a work team conference call at home had an overwhelming need to poo. Knew I was going to have to do my report on the call any time (so couldn't be on mute) so decided to use DDs potty to avoid any toilet plopping noises!!

Sat on potty and realised quite quickly that they're designed for small child poo quantities! Practically filled it to the brim Couldn't then get off it without huffing and puffing so stayed sat on it for the duration of the conference call. I'm normally an over-sharer at work but couldn't bring myself to tell any of my colleagues how I'd handled the call with them when I next saw them

I sneezed and shit myself at the beach once. Luckily no one noticed and I washed it out in the sea. Pretty gross thinking about it but I was a teenager and would never have lived it down

I was 19 and taken into hospital in Dublin whilst travelling/ working there. It was Pelvic Inflammatory Disease/ Beginnings of IBS and they had me on a drip. I had obviously taken a reaction to whatever was in the drip as one minute I was sitting chatting to the other patients, the next I had masses, and I mean could fill a couple of shopping bags masses ,of runny poo caught in my onesie! I was lying down in bed so it had squished up and down!
You can imagine trying to peel the onesie off and the final shame was that they handed it to me in a bag the next day and told me I'd need to wash it in the sink! Thank God for our NHS!