AIBU to have such humiliation over this Poo Story...

[DailyFailProtection]

Ok, so, disclaimer: I have gratuitously posted here for traffic, and reassurance. Not for the faint hearted, squeamish people stay away! Meant for the light of heart.

With that in mind, this has happened today:

I am on holiday, somewhere very hot, very sunny, with some ancient civilisation history, and a dearth of public conveniences. I am with an autistic 9yo, a 1yo, as well as a friend.

Today I hired a car, and drove two hours to look at some ruins, have lunch, and stop off on the way back at various spots. However, after 9yo having a spectacular meltdown in the restaurant, I decided to forgo the stop offs and just head back to the hotel.

We were about 45 minutes from the hotel, when the hideous pains of IBS started, despite having taken preventative Imodium.

As we drive along, it's becoming more and more urgent, so my friend who was navigating told me to pull off at the next exit, which I did.

At this point I was nearly crying with the effort of holding it in, and feeling sick to boot. The baby was crying, the 9yo was grumbling, and I was touching, well, cloth. (I'm sorry, there's no more delicate way to describe the urgency of the situation)

Long story caught short, we pulled into what can only be described as a lay by married with a side street off the main drag, where I jumped out and shielded by the car did what I had to do, into a nappy, which in all honesty wasn't up to the job.

Cleaned up and came home. (Thank goodness for baby wipes!)

The mortification is real, whilst I see the humour in the situation. My friend was amazing and supportive, and said she thought everyone has one if not more horror stories of a similar vein. I think she's wrong, and most people are like her and hold it for as long as they need!

With that in mind, and to alleviate some of my shame and embarrassment, would you share yours?!

@CrunchyMum it was a request not a demand.

Went away for our anniversary, first night away since our baby was born so expecting a nice 'romantic' evening. Began to get stomach ache in the car, realised whilst in the inner depths of Bath's beautiful one way system that we had missed our turning. By the time we got to the hotel I was absolutely desperate, ran up the steps into the lobby and shat myself (quite obviously) halfway to the toilets. Wonderful

I have this thing where if I eat cooked cheese, about 50% of times it goes straight through me without touching the sides. My personal best is 25 minutes (a macaroni cheese, I believe). For this reason I will not eat cheese when travelling. However I admit that on a couple of occasions because of this, I've done an exploratory fart that wasn't. Fortunately I was at home both times.

Bodies let us down sometimes. We should just . . . ahem . . . go with the flow.

I had an operation and got MRSA, got given drugs to try to get rid of it. They didn't agree with me. I was on the way to a sport final when I found this out and we'd all worn the full players' kit for a laugh. Unfortunately the kit was all white. I had to tie my boyfriend's jacket around my waist to cover it up and I pity the poor people sat near me for the duration of the final.

I've definitely sharted by accident a couple of times when ill. Quite literally, shit happens.

Special mention to the night I likely had a spiked drink though. I had very little to drink when I suddenly felt very drunk and I subsequently exploded at both ends when back at then BFs. I remember nothing of this but I managed to vomit into the loo and by applying the logic of the addled, decided that as it came out of a separate orifice, it deserved a separate receptacle and liberally shat in the bath. I had no idea I'd done it when I woke up on the floor a couple of hrs later and flushed the loo but didn't check the bath. Then BF had to alert my attention to it later. I was so ashamed of myself and so puzzled as to how I ended up that ill that I was actually relieved to find out that they thought I'd been roofied. It's my most embarrassing moment.

Had food poisoning on holiday. Had accident in white shorts. Washed out shorts not very successfully and hung over hotel balcony. Wind blew them to balcony below

save did you get your shorts back?

Recently diagnosed coeliac and stupidly ate a little bit of baklava.... okay at first then one and a half hours later, waiting to see my respiratory consultant at hospital felt the intestines go.... quick run across the waiting room to thankfully an empty toilet and literally with seconds to go, massive evacuation!! It splattered everywhere and stank... flushed, then number two and number three... ten mins later I felt safe-ish to leave the toilet head down in shame as it stank!!

Then 2 mins later called into my appointment and dreaded another gurgle.... ran back in afterwards and waited until I felt safe before the 10 min walk home!!

A little later, I also glutened myself accidentally with my lunch at work and blocked the toilets......

Had noro virus... it came on suddenly and I was kneeling (thankfully at home) in the downstairs wet room with my head down the loo, vomitting copiously, then the other end started. Absolutely NO warning...I couldn't get my head out of the loo as still being sick so I did the only thing I could think of... and dragged the cat litter tray , sat next to the loo, under me and shat liquid diarhoea into it.

Finally got my head out of the loo and realised the cat was sat staring at me with my arse in her litter tray....

Am also dismayed at the getting-off-on-poo thing. I googled the recipe for chocolate salami earlier (bear with me), googled suggested 'chocolate salad' which i innocently clicked on. Do not look at the urban dic definition!

Sharing about shitting? Gross

Dear. Yes I went down and knocked on their door. I loved those shorts. White denim.

Dear. Yes I did. I knocked on their door. I loved those shorts. White denim.

Hmm not an accidental pop story as such. But when I was in labour with my first DC, she was taking her time in the birth canal and midwives were starting to talk about transferring to a hospital for possible intervention. They got me on hands and knees and extra people in the room, student, midwife, senior midwife, exh and mother. I suddenly realise I've started to poo and try to use some of the tissue to wipe myself.

Midwife barks at me to leave it alone as they could use the poo as an indicator whether DC was moving further down the birth canal. So I had to stay on hands and knees with everyone staring at my poo and getting excited the more it inched out. DC arrived about an hour later, complete with a ring around her head from being in the canal for so long.

I just wanted to say I appreciate this thread and the fact it's been ok to stand :) I have horrendous crohns, short Bowel, colostomy bag, stomal tumour and no bowel left inside my stomach wall.

It's very lonely. I still work but I have crapped in a shoe, had to leave my classroom (pre bag) as I get a minute to go before it seeps out. I smell rancid. I can't fart. I have just been granted a Years immunotherapy and chemo. As long as my scans arrive...... it's dire and I am in agony. I can't breathe properly, take 1oo Imodium tablets a day, a huge amount of codeine and a massive amount of other tablets.

It's shit. So it's good to share.

@arielmanto "gently mummified" 😂😂😂😂😂

I've got Crohns and have had many, many a near miss and also a few 'misses' that are quite comical when I look back.

The first was waking up in my tent at V Festival after a heavy day before, and I think a touch of sunstroke. Had to go in a carrier bag in the awning of our tent while my boyfriend (now incredibly supportive and understanding DH) covered his ears. Awful.

The second was a weekend wedding on a remote Scottish island. We were on our way to a BBQ the day after the wedding, about 8 of us packed into one car, I was perched on a friends knee as we hurtled along winding roads and suddenly had THE URGE. Didn't know the driver of the car very well but luckily my DH and a good friend explained I had to stop. I had to bolt behind a tuft of grass and luckily there was a flannel in the car to help me clean up. You quickly learn a sense of humour and get a thick skin about these things.

I find the humiliation lasts for a day or two then you get over it!

I caught a bug from contaminated water back when I was 19 and I really could shit through an eye of a needle. Many a time I sneezed and shat myself. I lost 2stone in 2 weeks.
More recently I've been on tramadol for pain and not been able to go to the loo, despite taking lots of laxatives. Except the one day I made it out the house to a friend's and the need arose and I laid a behemoth in the toilet which went around the u-bend and wouldn't flush. It just wouldn't go and so I had to attack it with the loo brush and try and break it up.
It was horrendous.

Another IBS sufferer here, it is shit

Interestingly have also had my gall bladder out which a few other posters have also mentioned, I find now if I eat anything fatty or too rich it has fairly disastrous results

Recently went for a NT day out, felt the need to go en route, because I was beginning to panic i missed the turn off and ended up on a one way system by which point I had a serious sweat on. Ended up pulling into a country lane, ran up the lane and in the end just went for it!! It was pure luck that no body walked past.

My dd is used to my annoying toilet habits and is used to running with me to various loos. There is def a psychological element to it though as if I know there is no toilet close by and I will always need the toilet!! Travelling anywhere is tricky and it does cause a lot of stress.

Not really much shame and embarrassment here but here's my toilet horror story.

Some Countries have really bad plumbing. Toilets are really not the same all over the world. The sitting position is supposedly not the correct position to defecate in - the same way I've heard laying on your back is not the best way to give birth. I know some people use a foot block to raise their legs when on the toilet to improve performance?

Anyway....

We had a friend staying for a few weeks. She spoke very good english and was from a wealthy family. She'd been in UK for a year and had some very bad luck with housemates. She was a lovely girl and we couldn't understand why she was having problems with house-shares.

We'd previously had some issues with bad smells in the work toilets. Basically notices went up explaining how to use the toilets (seating position etc) what went down toilets, what went in sanitary bins and waste paper baskets. Then more explicit notices went up. Then a tannoy? message reminding everyone of correct toilet usage and to read the notices. The toilet seats kept getting broken and things pulled off the wall.

My friend stayed at our place for a few weeks. We finally understood the issues she'd had in previous houses. Closing the bathroom door when occupied was the first issue.

We had to explain that toilet paper was used to wipe away pee and poo. She'd not been using it and was showering instead. We had to explain the the waste basket was for wrapped up sanitary towels and that used toilet paper could go down the toilet. Our plumbing would cope with it.

We had to explain that squatting precariously with her feet on the seat was not acceptable after a drunken night when she'd got stuck having half fallen into the shower/bath.

We had a very frank conversation about toilet use. Several times. She didn't get it. She stayed a few weeks but we were unable to get her to use the toilet in a way we found acceptable.

I've spoken to other people from her Country and although some of them told me about the plumbing issues etc, they all seemed to understand basic seating positions.

Fellow sufferers, I sympathise!

Now, serious public information to follow...

You really CAN use the disabled toilet for ALL and ANY of the hideous digestive issues people have to live with (from ibs to chroens and coeliac etc etc etc).

• don't apologize for it
• don't feel bad for it
• don't hesitate or walk on past!

Don't sneak into that disabled loo, walk in with pride and your head held high ... ok scuttle in in a terrible panic clutching clothes are body parts as the need dictates... rather more likely given the circs!

Slightly oddly, I feel really strongly about this! As a 'card carrying bonefide disabled person' I kind of want to hold the door open and usher you in (in a completely non weird and disturbing figurative way!). I've acquired the rather serious disability a few years ago, but have lived with IBS/uninvestigated gi awfulness since I was a little child. And from the perspective of having so many things wrong with my rubbish body now, that the IBS type of urgent episodes are as worse as any of the other symptoms/ problems I have. If not worse in terms of the potential humiliation and disaster it can cause. Almost the only benefit of becoming disabled in other wars has been the decrease in nasty near-misses/ thinly disguised just-too-late episodes in the poo department!

I wish I'd had the courage to use disabled loos before, and as I can't go back in time and give myself a shake and that advice... I'd be very happy if someone d else could learn from my 'now I'm disabled' sense of perspective!

So please please one and all... use the nearest toilet you can find, be that a public loo, disabled loo or whatever kind of loo. Just get in there and breathe a sigh of relief, as life is hard enough already being ruled by the whims of an uncooperative digestive system, and your needs are serious and 'important' enough to put yourself first.

Don't worry about encroaching or taking up a resource meant for a hypothetical other person who might be more 'properly disabled'... you will be using a resource that's been put there for that purpose. To help you when you need that extra access when out of your home.

Clearly I'm not the voice of the people here, or an official spokesperson for all disabled toilet users, but i know how awful this is and it's not right that people might be avoiding using the one thing that could really help.

Ok, I'll get off my poo-soap-box now go on... use the loo, dare you to poo proudly (& get a RADAR key for these kind of urgent desperate situations).

A wee one.

I was at the cinema alone a few months ago watching A Cure For Wellness, I think it was called. I was enjoying it. I'd indulged in a large popcorn and coke and had scoffed the lot. Started to need a wee quite badly, but thought the film was finishing and I didn't want to miss the end. Plus being alone, id have to have bustled out with all my shopping bags, then back in again etc etc. So thought I can hold it for another 5 minutes... Well, the film turned out to be about 8 hours long, but I kept thinking it was a few minutes from the end. So I kept holding my wee. And holding it and holding it. Jesus wept the PAIN was ridiculous. I had to make a run for it eventually, as the bloody film STILL hadn't finished. I ended up weeing myself just as I got out of the cinema. Waddled off to the toilets, cleaned up, and a stroke of luck I had been shopping for new underwear and jeans that day so I had a change of clothes! Had to google the ending the film when I got home.

My ibs struck at a festival I was at in Portugal after shating myself in spectacular fashion I spent the festival confined to the portaloo and had to wipe my ass on free bandanas that we had been given never knew tearing up fabric was so difficult. 🙄
IBS is shit.... literally! You've my sympathy xxx

The first was waking up in my tent at V Festival after a heavy day before, and I think a touch of sunstroke. Had to go in a carrier bag in the awning of our tent while my boyfriend (now incredibly supportive and understanding DH) covered his ears. Awful

What did he think was going to happen to his ears?

wellthisisshit* thank you! I shall no longer be apologetic in my use!