AIBU to have such humiliation over this Poo Story...

[DailyFailProtection]

Ok, so, disclaimer: I have gratuitously posted here for traffic, and reassurance. Not for the faint hearted, squeamish people stay away! Meant for the light of heart.

With that in mind, this has happened today:

I am on holiday, somewhere very hot, very sunny, with some ancient civilisation history, and a dearth of public conveniences. I am with an autistic 9yo, a 1yo, as well as a friend.

Today I hired a car, and drove two hours to look at some ruins, have lunch, and stop off on the way back at various spots. However, after 9yo having a spectacular meltdown in the restaurant, I decided to forgo the stop offs and just head back to the hotel.

We were about 45 minutes from the hotel, when the hideous pains of IBS started, despite having taken preventative Imodium.

As we drive along, it's becoming more and more urgent, so my friend who was navigating told me to pull off at the next exit, which I did.

At this point I was nearly crying with the effort of holding it in, and feeling sick to boot. The baby was crying, the 9yo was grumbling, and I was touching, well, cloth. (I'm sorry, there's no more delicate way to describe the urgency of the situation)

Long story caught short, we pulled into what can only be described as a lay by married with a side street off the main drag, where I jumped out and shielded by the car did what I had to do, into a nappy, which in all honesty wasn't up to the job.

Cleaned up and came home. (Thank goodness for baby wipes!)

The mortification is real, whilst I see the humour in the situation. My friend was amazing and supportive, and said she thought everyone has one if not more horror stories of a similar vein. I think she's wrong, and most people are like her and hold it for as long as they need!

With that in mind, and to alleviate some of my shame and embarrassment, would you share yours?!

Jill sounds to me like your OCD might have stemmed from all that teasing about the childhood incident. People can be bastards. Poor you.

Incidentally I used to have sensituve/overactive bladder years ago and for me it was definitely hormonal. Although when I mentioned this to a doctor she looked at me like I had two heads but it really was the case for me - might it also apply to you?.

AlmostAJillSandwich I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. Life can be so ruddy hard!

Can you bear to see a urologist to address that bit of your problems at least? I thought it would be awful and intrusive, so was amazed when the consultant was sensitive, kind and thoughtful, it really was a completely different experience from the one I'd been dreading.

I didn't have to have any invasive tests, and nothing painful like the infinitely more invasive and horrid tests for Gi stuff (which I'm ashamed to say I have postponed as too afeared and worried about how I'd get through them due to disability complicating everything. Sigh).

Anyway, back to urology. I did a 3-4day diary, and I did have to do urine samples but I'm sure I'd have been allowed to take the pots away and do it at home. They really were very compassionate and understood the emotional burden their patients often carry with them. The only thing I think you'd have any struggle with was an ultrasound that needed a half empty bladder where you'd made yourself stop. Loo and privacy provided as standard, and the scan was clothes on but leggings shuffled down a bit so they could scan through to the bladder area. The reason I think it might be tricky for you is that would be hard to get the bladder the right fullness without weeing at the hospital... but they might have ways around it?

Anyway, my point was... I'm on two different medications for uro stuff, and although it hasn't miraculously cured it all, it's SO much more manageable. I actually cried when I had a follow up appointment when the wonderful doc asked how I was. I thought i was worse or the tablets hadn't worked at first, until I managed to blow nose and explain that he had changed my life. He was all bowled over and glowy after, and got his students in (with my permission) to see what happens when they 'get it right'. He was very self effacing and explained he wanted them to see that it's not about what happens within the hospital, it's about what happens outside, and if they are lucky, they'll get to help a person get their life back, and their identity, self esteem etc, all of it. I totally luff that quack!

Before, I was incontinent, big accidents and general leakage. And the 'frequency and urgency' as they call it. Bloody awful, 30-40 times a day, having to use improvised containers as couldn't make it to the loo, completely falling apart from sleep deprivation that it brings. It was awful and it went on for 2 years before I managed to get help. I thought there was nothing anyone could do, and I should just control my body better, like everyone else seems to be able to do.

But seriously... a combo of two tablets, and gradually it just sort of, stopped happening so much. The big accidents are so much less frequent and more predictable, so I feel more human just from the lack of potential clothes soaking flood threats at all times! And I can sleep! Oh God the sleep! Sometimes 6-8hrs without a wee, its incredible! Ok that's rare but on a average day I can sleep for 4-5 hrs and know I'll wake before it, then quick wee and back to sleep for another 4 hrs. Pretty amazing stuff tbh.

Anyway. Sorry if you've been down this road already, but I really feel for the awful situation you're in, and hope you can maybe chip away at some of the awfulness a bit at the time. I know what it's like to be laid so low by so many things all attacking you at once, so even your best and most ingenious work arounds help you endure but slowly sink. The wee doc really helped though it wasn't the main health issue, it helped more than I ever imagined.

I am howling at these, I am so sorry. I also suffer from IBS and toilet phobia so these really are my worst nightmares but because they happened to other people and you are able to laugh about them, I find them hilarious.

Happy memories grin

I believe you.

DS shat himself aged 18 months-ish in the cafe of a large upmarket department store. Wasn't unduly concerned and retired to find the baby change station BUT it was out of action so had to use a cubicle with basin. Pulled his trousers down, and discovered nappy had burst it's banks and DS was now wearing a pair of trousers made entirely of shit under his regular ones. Had to bathe him in a too-small basin, shit everywhere. Didn't have a spare pair of trousers so had to buy overpriced Polan-y-Pyret ones to get him home. They were forever the 'Shit Slacks after that...

'What's DS wearing today?'
'Oh it's a posh do, stick him in his shit slacks'

@wannabestressfree

I am on 7 pills a day which allow me to leave the house. But near my period, when I am ill, when I eat the wrong thing, when I am stressed about not being within sight of a toilet...I can have bad attacks :(

I had a lady argue with me on holiday whilst I was desperately trying to get into the toilet..so I have bought a radar key (and reel terribly guilty even though my bowel disease is on the approved list of users according to the BAM charity.)

Life use to be so much easier and I miss the freedom to go running outside miles away from home...no toilet in sight :(

Almost AJillSandwich you really can't carry on like that - not just for your quality of life, but because it is dangerous.

I have UC. I had a couple of distressing experiences with flexi sigs so had the last one done under general anesthetic. I understand about the 'out of control' aspect but it is really important that you get diagnosed. My diagnosis was done with a much less invasive test as colitis always starts at the rectum so no need to look very far in.

THIS BIT IS IMPORTANT does your doctor know you are using Imodium? It's really not safe - colitis (and probably crohns) causes mucus and pus from all the lesions, if it doesn't get out quickly there is something called toxic mega colon that results in the large intestine bursting. It is very very dangerous.

I'm sorry to derail a fun thread but I'm really worried about you after reading your posts.

Haha, don't be too hard on yourself, happens to the best of us!

I was on a big family picnic in the forest not long ago and had to go shit in the middle of a clearing. Enough to put anyone off their mushy butty

I had recently bought some lovely new sparkling white trainers...

Can you see where this is going?

I got caught short at a train station without facilities and with no nearby public loos or McDonalds or anywhere I could relieve myself.

I ended up going behind some bushes (hopefully) out of sight of people. Luckily it was a very small station and there were only one or two other people and they didn't see me (I hope).

Once I had done my business I cleaned up and stood up and somehow staggered into the pile of frothy white effluent I had left behind. In my lovely new sparkling white trainers.

I cleaned them with leaves and water from a stream as best they could and once home into the washing-machine they went, but they've never been the same since.

orange effluent, sorry.

I'm dying at these. I've fortunately not been in this sort of situation where I've actually shat myself, but I had a boyfriend once who used to fart all the time and once shat himself when trying too hard to push out gas never let him forget it. He didn't fart so much after that!

I was heavily pregnant and at home with a 3 year old. We had builders in our flat redoing our kitchen and bathroom. I desperately needed a poo....it got more and more urgent until I was forced to hide in the bedroom with DD's potty which I had luckily not got rid of once she was out of nappies, and do it in there. Then I had to wrap it in a tescos bag to minimise odour escape, and leave it on the windowsill until said builders had gone and I could empty it down the loo. Having been hanging on to it for hours, I just remember it being literally the most satisfying poo I had ever done.

9 times out of 10 I either pee or poo when I throw up. Threw up in hospital and peed everywhere. I was mortified

DH was away and I was watching tv in bed when I had that urgent feeling.

I made it to our toilet, oh the relief, then realised I was also going to be sick. I leaned forward so I could be sick on the floor rather than my knee, I slipped on the diarrhoea and knocked myself unconscious on the toilet bowl. I came round covered in the squits and vomit

Can’t blame food for this.

The morning after the last US elections I woke early, keen to know the results. I’d assumed Clinton would win, but as the results rolled in felt queasier and queasier, and when Pennsylvania announced I had to rush to the loo - but just as I lowered myself I sharted all over the loo seat, lid, and newly installed tiles on the walls and floor. It went everywhere. I spent the next hour or so cleaning up.
I think of this every time I hear the word Trump.

I haven’t told anyone else this before. Not even DH.

Zombie thread

I have Crohn’s disease and work in an office with really bad plumbing. The loos block and overflow easily and flood...well least when I’m around. I do massive poos and have to use LOADS of loo roll and Andrex wipes...

Recently, this caused the floor in the loos to collapse, I guess it had been flooded one too many times. All my fault. #awkward

I've shat myself all round europe. DP comments that every holiday we have is brilliant, but the one's where I've been able to control my bowels hold special memories. It's never been a highlight of our travels, but hey ho, shit happens.

A zombie poo thread. Fabulous!

KindergartenKop thank you, thank you, thank you, for not leaving my post as the last one.

Gettingback you do know that you can put a quantity of unfolded, lightly scrunched up toilet paper in the bowl first to muffle the sound of the poo plop though?

Top tip for next time!

This isnt poo but peri menopausal flooding, yum.

It only happened recently, went to a historic city 50 miles from home and whilst there went into a ski shop to have new boots fitted and moulded. As part of the fitting you sat on these benches that had yellow sponge seats.

So I sat, felt wet but it's ok I thought, Tampax Super Plus and a pad, and had my boots fitted. When I stood up to test them there was a pool of blood soaked into the sponge.

I died a 1000 deaths. The fitter left the room to get socks and I tried to mop it up with baby wipes from my bag, all it did was smear all over the seat and soak in.

I still cringe a year later. Sorry & in the lovely city of ***.

So many people champing at the bit to share shit stories
So much so that they actually resurrect old threads for a re-run. And posters line up to over share...

Shit happens!

Laugh it off and move on.