To request no kids on the wedding invites?

[Curlyhepburn]

The wedding is a while off yet but just planning now and it occurred to me that I dont know how to go about it, we have 3 kids of our own between us, youngest will be 13 at the time and we are both clear on not wanting very young kids/babies.

I know this isnt always popular with families and I wondered if its reasonable to include a note of this in the info card to go out with the invites?
Am I being daft?

"stop with the "parents can enjoy themselves" as if it is doing the parents a favour."

I agree. It is a little patronising, and often isn't doing the parents a favour at all.

That was how I wanted it

Totally irrelevant - OP and her husband to be have decided they want no kids so what other people have done, or what people think they should do means nothing.

If a woman has just had a baby, she should be at home with baby

Erm..WTAF?? Are the 1950s calling?

We took our 4 week old to a wedding, didn't realise I should have been locked at home. He was very good too, didn't make a sound. Unlike the parents who refused to take their screaming toddler out during the speeches.

My newborn really didn't take attention away from the bride's dress, what an odd thing to say.

I'm getting married in a week (arrrgggh). We only have a few friends with kids and originally planned to invite them, however before I sent out the invites we contacted the parents and asked if they would like the children on the invites. (I didn't want my mates 13 year old to see an invite with his name in if his on if his mum didn't want him there) Every single one said something along the lines of 'hell no, I want to enjoy myself'.

Do it. I hate weddings so any excuse to say I can't go is great by me.

I received an invite that had a foot note specifically excluding children. I had childcare so it was fine but if I hadn't I wouldn't have attended and would not have been upset about it. Obviously, I was happy doing it just the once but if I was to remarry, I'd exclude kids

"My newborn really didn't take attention away from the bride's dress, what an odd thing to say."

If a bride is worried about a newborn taking attention away from her it says a lot about her doesn't it.

Just read your update regarding family coming from a dissnce.
Sorry OP in those circumstances I think insisting on child free is going to cause no end of grief .
Can I suggest you think about what your fears are regarding children an then arrange things as we did.

We had no children and down the bottom pit " we kindly request no children". and no children came 😃

Why do some people hate weddings so much ?

I have never been to an awful wedding, and I only left one early because I was so cold.

Is it because many weddings these days are such overblown, expensive, formal affairs? Has social media ruined the idea that people can have a good time because they are always aware they may be in someone's photo?

Definitely put something like "unfortunately due to space issues we are unable to have children at the wedding." As it is a number issue, this is fine.

As most of the children are in DHs family, definitely spell it out, or you risk people calling his parents and asking them if children are invited, rather than calling you - they might say "yes". (Also brief your parents and PIL this is the case!)

You might get those travelling having to decline.

I put a note inside the invite which had the usual places to stay, taxi numbers, parking info etc. It said something like

"Unfortuntaly we are only able to accommodate family children, please let us know if this is a problem"

Nothing wrong with it- however if the majority of people with children are also expected to travel up be prepared for a few not to be able to come!

Hosts should understand that people have the right to (politely) decline invitations for all sorts of reasons - it might be because of childcare, or expense, or previous plans, lack of time - or just because they don't really like weddings . I have been bored senseless at more than one wedding - no one has the 'right' to assume everyone wants to accept a wedding invitation - yes, even if you are good friends you should be able to accept that your wedding is really not that important for many other people.

If you have a limited number of times you can get babysitters for a full day event, I think I'd like to do something more than attend a wedding

How insulting.

Of course you can have a child free wedding! It's very common, but please remember you can't have it both ways and sulk or complain when people decline

A whole thread of people saying they don't care "but ignore ALL the sanctimonious twats who will post and are not as brilliant as me "

Have who you like OP but obviously some people won't be able to make an all day thing or don't have money/access to child care but only an idiot would struggle to understand that.... ahem

yiur fake friends will make it all about them and their children

Please do write it on the invitation as not everyone knows the etiquette or goes to many weddings, I wouldn't have. I'm very at the poster who said you "show your guests up" by not putting it in the invite and telling them off when they receive it and rsvp. Does she have friends, why would you actively try and upset them for an obvious Misunderstanding (proven by their rsvping not just showing up with a kid)

Is it insulting to find weddings boring?

My h2bs family will mostly be staying with other family members. And from other events in the past we know that they tend to make a week/weekend of it.
Its my 2nd marriage and would have been happy to just sod off on a fancy holiday with our kids, get married and have a wee party when we come back but h2b wants the family there and I understand that.

Im finding it hard because of the numbers, and I know full well that some ppl wont come which is fair enough. In all seriousness if we were to invite all of his cousins and there children as well as all other family and friends we would literally need to get married in a football stadium! 😅

I wouldn't word it as a child free opportunity.

I agree. Please don't. It's so patronising. Many people don't actually need a wedding invitation to force themselves to have a child free evening out, and not everyone appreciates that kind of sentiment.
Be honest - YOU don't want children there for YOUR sake. It is not that you want to provide the parents with some childfree time, totally selfishly! And that is fine. As I said before, your choice, their choice.

Is it insulting to find weddings boring?

It would be if you announced it to the B & B but I can't be the only one who has been bored at weddings.

You are perfectly entitled to do that, but some might not come as they cannot get childcare.

Yanbu.we had a child free and baby free wedding. Best decision ever.

If you cannot be bothered to read the fucking thread, at least read the opening post

Sorry what does h2b mean? If you mean your fiancé then i thought wedding decisions are supposed o be joint plans.
If you would prefer to jet set off and he wants a traditional family affair, then your plans are miles apart.
Ahh just realised h2b is husband to be. If he wants the family there including the wider family then you are going to have to compromise somehow especially since excluding children will mean that family members living some distance away would have to decline the invitation.
If , on the other hand , you don't want the larger wider family wedding then that is a different discussion to be had.