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Original poster

To request no kids on the wedding invites?

426 replies

Curlyhepburn · 24/08/2017 07:45

The wedding is a while off yet but just planning now and it occurred to me that I dont know how to go about it, we have 3 kids of our own between us, youngest will be 13 at the time and we are both clear on not wanting very young kids/babies.

I know this isnt always popular with families and I wondered if its reasonable to include a note of this in the info card to go out with the invites?
Am I being daft?

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 26/08/2017 08:22

Your wedding, your choice. Just make it clear from the outset and be prepared for some people to decline.

pinkstripeycat · 26/08/2017 08:36

My best friend only brought 2 (1 x 5 day old and 1 x 4yr old) of her 4 children (the other 2 we aged 2 and 6) to my wedding as she thought they would be noisy and run about. I was sad she felt that way as I hadn't said no children and there were wild ones skidding all over the floor at my reception. I didn't have a problem with it. That said - if you don't want children there it's your choice. Don't let anyone bully you in to inviting anyone you don't want. My MIL tried to invite all her friends - I allowed 2. One (in her late 50s) shagged one of our best men (aged 25) in a side office and everyone saw them come out all disheveled (yuk but funny and a bit disrespectful all at the same time) and the other (who MIL called aunty kath - although DH had no idea who she was) ate and left - she never spoke to either DS or I and we haven't seen her since (17 years ago). DS still has no idea who she was

LadyWithLapdog · 26/08/2017 09:15

OMG at the thought of MIL's friend shagging one of the best men as at the last wedding I went to MIL was so 'proper' and best men quite childish.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/08/2017 09:18

But most people eventually regret stipulating no kids at their wedding

You know everyone that has had no kids weddings?

You Christmas card list must be massive.

For the record those I know that have had them have no regrets at all.

WestEndVBroadway · 26/08/2017 10:49

I havn't read the whole thread so forgive me if I repeat what may have already ben said. It is your wedding your choice and I understand you have your own kids so may not be case here. However many people change their thinking after they have children. My DS and DBil were adamant that no children were at their own wedding and when friends couldn't come due to childcare issues they were put out. Fast forward a few years when they had their own DCs they got Shitty when invites stated no children -think " Well we certainly won't be attending if DSs aren't allowed to come, how unreasonable of the bride and groom!"

StarHeartDiamond · 26/08/2017 11:08

We had no kids except family kids, I was perfectly happy then and I'm perfectly happy now. No regrets Smile

We wouldn't have fitted in the venue of everyone brought their kids. It was a big wedding to start with.

Nancy91 · 26/08/2017 11:42

I can't see myself regretting my childfree wedding. Why regret not having kids crying when speeches are being made? Sliding on the dance floor and running around when I'm having my first dance? Putting their hands all over my cake that cost a fortune?

I'm sorry but it just isn't to my taste. Each to their own. It's silly to say that most people regret having child free weddings, that's simply not true.

pollymere · 26/08/2017 11:43

Organize a creche? I've had people not invite us because of dd. We've had a lovely time at weddings where we've been told 'no children'. We went to one where children could go to the evening part. Is this something you could do as a compromise?

McTufty · 26/08/2017 11:54

pollymere

People haven't invited you because you have a child?! That's awful!!! To invite you and say no kids and you declining - fine. To not invite you in the first place because of your child is really unpleasant.

Having said that it's a symptom of the ridiculous view which some seem to hold that you can't invite a mother of a baby unless you're willing to have baby come along so people think it's invite you plus child or don't invite you at all.

always invite the parents and levae it to them if they are able to come sans child.

Maireadplastic · 26/08/2017 11:56

Seems there a disproportionate amount of screamy children at weddings....

LoniceraJaponica · 26/08/2017 12:02

They only scream at MN weddings. Most weddings I have been to have had children present, but I don't recall any of them screaming. Either the parent removed them or they were quiet in the first place.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 26/08/2017 12:05

They only scream at MN weddings. Most weddings I have been to have had children present, but I don't recall any of them screaming.

Nope, not just "at MN weddings". The last wedding I went to was for my cousin; she made the mistake of inviting babies and children. More than one baby screamed through the service, and though they were eventually taken out, it did ruin the atmosphere.

(And that's not to mention the noisy toddlers.)

McTufty · 26/08/2017 12:23

Even if they only cry at a minority of weddings (and frankly I don't know where all these children who are quiet all day are hiding - most children/babies are susceptible to crying over the course of a day), there is a risk, and when it is your one wedding day, why the fuck shouldn't you decide you don't want to take the risk?

Maireadplastic · 26/08/2017 12:42

'More than one baby screamed through the service', Whattodo? The whole service? My wedding ceremony was over an hour, most are at least 40mins....that's a sick baby not a troublesome one.

newbian · 26/08/2017 12:47

More than one baby screamed through the service, and though they were eventually taken out, it did ruin the atmosphere.

If they were taken out, how did they scream through the service? DD was one tantrum prone baby and even she couldn't scream for an hour straight. Sorry this must be a massive exaggeration.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 26/08/2017 13:11

I didn't say through the whole service; no need to attempt to exaggerate what I said.

They screamed during the service until they were eventually taken out. The second the baby opened their mouths the atmosphere was gone.

newbian · 26/08/2017 13:21

Screaming "through" means for the duration. As in "sleeps through the night." We're responding to what you wrote.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 26/08/2017 13:23

If you say so.

daffodil10 · 26/08/2017 13:28

I don't know any of our friends who would turn down a wedding invite due to child care issues. Even if it meant granny coming 200 miles to sit - in my case . I also don't know anyone who would want to take their children unless they are bridesmaid etc. It's not like wedding invitations are last minute, you usually get plenty of notice.

Maireadplastic · 26/08/2017 13:45

'screamed through the service', WhatToDo. That's pretty clear.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/08/2017 13:53

My wedding ceremony was over an hour, most are at least 40mins

Not necessarily. Civil ceremony can be significantly shorter. My DSis wedding this summer was about 20-25 minutes.

Maireadplastic · 26/08/2017 13:57

Okay, Piglet, that's still a long time for a child to cry through.

lozzylizzy · 26/08/2017 19:26

I took my two eldest at 4 and 13 days old to a full day wedding. My DH was the best man so I was apart all day. It all went smoothly to some degree and we booked a family room in the hotel (two adjoining rooms) so we went up to the room at around 10.30pm.

I must agree with PP though that I didn't really enjoy it as such. I was on none of the photographs as they were taken in a scenic location (which was hard to navigate the pram and a little kid to in heels and a dress etc). I ended up checking into the hotel.

I did enjoy the room though (hot chocolate and tv after a jacuzzi bath) and the buffet breakfast the next day! Also drunken snoring DH was in the next room in his own bed!!!

BoysofMelody · 26/08/2017 19:31

But most people eventually regret stipulating no kids at their wedding

Speak for yourself, five years on and not an iota of regret.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 26/08/2017 22:51

'screamed through the service', WhatToDo. That's pretty clear.

Yes, screamed through the service. Not throughout the service or through the whole service.

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