Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've got an hour before I get to my mums. Please peel me off the ceiling before I get there.

414 replies

TippyTinkleTrousers · 22/08/2017 19:50

We have two boys 10 and 6.

The six year old has multiple severe allergies and an immunodeficiency and been out of hospital a lot of his life.

He's anaphylactic to dairy, egg, banana, nuts, shell fish with a moderate allergy to wheat, soya, pollen, animal dander and more.

He sees a specialist in London Eva Lina and they test him annually. The allergies are getting worse but we are aware and in control of them.

He's never stayed away from us ever.
When we go somewhere I provide all food for him to make life easier for everyone. Mainly him!

Last night he stayed at my mums because I'm on a placement. I provided all food, said he just eats that.

She called me and asked if he could have lemonade. I say yes as long as the ingredients are just water sugar etc and no allergens.

She called me later and said "Can he have Rowntrees Ice Cream?"

I said "you don't mean ice cream do you? You most mean ice lollies, just the fruit juice."

She said "yes ice lollies."

2 hours later she calls me to tell me it was 63% skimmed milk powder in it and he's fine.

Doctors have specifically told us to totally avoid milk because we tried a baked milk challenge gave him baked milk and he had crippling stomach ache and dihorreha the next day for hours it was horrible.

We are now flooring it down the motorway telling her to give him antihistamines, it will take an hour to get there.

I was angry very very angry (though didn't shout at her I had to be calm and tell her what to do in case he started reacting) but now I'm sick with worry.

I mean this is fucking life or death. I'm astounding, shocked and relieved that afte 2 hours he has no symptoms but all is not over.

I will have to take tomorrow off because with experience he will be in screaming agony like last time.

For fuck sake.

This is his first every night away from me. I really trusted my mum. I really thought she knew that ice CREAM was a sign and she knew to read labels.

OP posts:
Peanutbutterrules · 22/08/2017 23:12

We've some ana reactions in the family and I would be beside myself with anger and fear if this happened. I'm afraid they wouldn't be in her care again as that level of sloppiness could kill.

Hope he's okay OP.

buckeejit · 22/08/2017 23:13

Sending positive thoughts here too-I'm sure your mum is worried sick too. One step at a time, get the wee man sorted first & review & assess what's happened after. Hope all's ok

Excited101 · 22/08/2017 23:13

Thinking of you all op

Venusflytwat · 22/08/2017 23:14

Well, I knew anaphylaxis was usually immediate. I also knew there could be a secondary biphasic anaphylaxis reaction several hours later. But I didn't know you could have delayed primary anaphylaxis. Could someone with experience point me in the direction of some further reading please, I have allergic friends and family and I'd like to know more about it, I am shocked it hasn't come up before.

OP, I hope your little boy is ok.

mikeyssister · 22/08/2017 23:14

Hope he's ok and even though your mum didn't do it on purpose it was bloody stupid.

HeyRoly · 22/08/2017 23:15

Oh, you must be hopping fucking mad.

I know those lollies and they quite clearly are an ice cream-y centre with a coloured juice coating (like an old fashioned Mivvi, if anyone remembers those). It was SO remiss of your mum to not read the box.

Why didn't she read the box? It's so weird that she chose to ring you instead of checking ingredients - like you'd instinctively know which lolly she was talking about. All of the people blaming you for not Googling the ingredients FFS Hmm

Really hope DS doesn't react too badly.

youwillbepk · 22/08/2017 23:17

Thinking of you and hope your little boy is ok

GrasswillbeGreener · 22/08/2017 23:18

Haven't read the full thread. Hope things work out; but also I really hope that you will in time be able to make arrangements that work when you need them to. It is very tough having to be 100% responsible for everything around your child being safe.

My son is dairy intolerant - so, nothing like the seriousness of your situation, however it was picked up due to behaviour issues at nursery and his first few years at school, to an extent that in consultation with his teachers we became very strict about it . (loads of allergies in my own family anyway). When my mother-in-law had an opportunity to take him and his sister away for a week, we thought she understood how we were managing his diet and why.

She only got him a chocolate milkshake every night - "But it is ok because it was powdered milk". I'm pretty sure that was after we'd started avoiding gelatine containing products unless we could be sure it wasn't beef gelatine ... At least because she had him on her own she had to cope with some of the consequences!!

Flybye · 22/08/2017 23:19

Hope ds recovers quickly op.

working925 · 22/08/2017 23:20

Hope everything is ok? Food allergies are so difficult to live with xx

GlitteryFluff · 22/08/2017 23:21

Hope he's ok op Flowers

TheDodgyEnd · 22/08/2017 23:21

Hope all ok OP xx FlowersFlowers sorry people have been unkind x

TippyTinkleTrousers · 22/08/2017 23:22

We're in A&E, his lips started to swell, so did around his eyes but it has started to subside already.

The doctor is calling the Evalina to see whether they think he should be kept in or go home.

Which I'm happy with because the Evalina have all his history, his reactions, his blood and skin prick test results so they will make the best call.
If that's to go home then I'm happy to take their advice but I won't be sleeping just in case.

Thanks to those who understand.

Shame about someone with the same as experience as me has been the most damning. I'm glad to say I'm way more empathetic and supportive of parents in the same position. But I guess we can't all have a heart.

I really appreciate others support and understanding. I really needed to vent earlier, anger which quickly turned into frantic worry.

OP posts:
Nettynet12 · 22/08/2017 23:25

TippyTinkleTrousers you done the right thing for your child Flowers
You can't be relaxed in these situations.

MrsOverTheRoad · 22/08/2017 23:28

How can it be a mistake to read the ingredients AFTER you give the food??

MummySparkle · 22/08/2017 23:28

Sending flowers OP Flowers

It sounds like you're in the right place and the hospital staff are good. How is DS coping? Is he worried, or is he (sadly) quite used to it? I hope he's okay, and really positive that the swelling is subsiding.

I had a student once have an allergic reaction on a coach on a school trip and it was terrifying. I can't imagine constantly living with the fear that that can happen to your own DC.

If you're in a&E near your mums how long will the drive home be? What would be the least disruptive thing for DS right now? If you feel he should be kept in would they listen to that?

ethelfleda · 22/08/2017 23:28

Glad he is being treated OP.
Such a shame that you got some of the responses you did.
Hope everything works out ok and no lasting emotional damage caused!!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/08/2017 23:29

I think I'd be camping out at the hospital overnight anyway.

aintnothinbutagstring · 22/08/2017 23:30

Good that his swelling has subsided but wouldn't be surprised if he was kept in for observation. Have a cup of sweet tea Brew. I don't have much advice on the mother situation, my parents are probably more vigilant than I am!

LagunaBubbles · 22/08/2017 23:30

Hope he's ok now

Chimchar · 22/08/2017 23:33

I hope your little boy is doing ok now. I really feel for you.
I bet your mum is feeling dreadful. I'm sure it's not a mistake that she will EVER make again

X

canteatcustard · 22/08/2017 23:39

We had similar phone calls when we left our kids including our allergic son (7 at the time) . Had my MIL and BIL looking after them. MIL was more on the ball, but BIL kept ringing us and asking ' can he eat yorkshire pudding? Which he couldnt at the time as egg allergic. This after leaving a clear A4 sheet in capital of allergen list. etc etc.
It seems that grown man with a masters degree cant read a food label!
Thank goodness my MIL respected our rules even if she didnt always understand them!

Some years later I was ill in hospital and it was then up to husband and family to look after them and our son. This emergency made my husband realise the difficulties of explaining allergy management to extended family. Thankfully son was older and would enquire about food given at 10yrs and older siblings would remind rellies. They would cheerfully report to hubby that nan/uncle/ auntie tried to give brother one of his food allergens. e.g son said 'its okay I didnt eat the trifle, the biscuits, even when they said it was okay mum, I knew they had eggs, nuts in.

Ruralretreating · 22/08/2017 23:41

Glad to hear the hospital is taking good care of him. And that you are ignoring the unsupportive comments. I hope your DS makes a swift recovery from any reaction.

Helliday · 22/08/2017 23:45

My DS has similar allergies OP and all I can say is I hope your son recovers quickly.

You've had some awful responses, just ignore.

mypoornips · 22/08/2017 23:51

DS has CMPA and we've had similar issues with Rowntree lollies when he has been at my mums. Luckily she realised it looked Ice-cream like and took it off him but it's confusing.

I hope your DS is ok, poor thing and you manage to get some a bit of sleep.