To complain that my partner lasts 30 seconds in the sack?!

[CleanFreak123]

No foreplay, lube straight out the drawer. He rolls me on my side and gives me 30 seconds.
I miss foreplay, feeling sexy, being turned on oh and having an orgasm!!!

If she doesn't come back I don't think it's the tone of the comments but the fact that what she thought was funny is actually really grim.

badgered???
i had shit sex for 27 years. im hardly in a position to badger. more a position to advise.

Dear god MN, if the OP says she is being lighthearted and doesn't want people to take it too seriously, I don't think an appropriate reaction is to scold her and tell her that she's being raped...

OP, I sympathise, and I also applaud your determination to see the funny side

Hope it gets better- stand up for your rights!

It can be shit sex and be consensual.

Well yeah but if you were going into it knowing it was going to be shit why would you say yes without getting massively resentful?

With respect vic (long time, no see ), you are in no more of a position to advise than anyone else here

It doesn't sound all that consensual to me, tbh

He rolls her on her side, applies the lube and jackhammers away. She doesn't get time to object.

All her own words.

Thing is though, nothing about the title or the op indicated it as light hearted and everyone had the violent reactions from that initial post. Quite understandably people were then even more alarmed when she decided to say it's just a joke-haha.

Meh. Hope she finds her happiness.

i love AF but her comments would prevent me from returning if i was conflicted

Hmm I disagree actually. I would take it as there would be people seriously willing to help me process it properly should I choose to do so at some point. Even if it was put on the back burner with an eye roll for now.

I'm all for fighting for the right to an orgasm. I'm still in the get the bugger told camp at this point.

hi af (you know i love you!)
lets beg to differ. im just sorry for op and dont want her put off from seeking advice.

sotftly softly.

CleanFreak123 omg sorry about some of the responses, I've taken your post as I hope it was meant with a little giggle!
My last partner was a lot quicker than yours believe it or not, 30 seconds would have been a very slow day, however it didn't bother me as he did look to please me after he was done.
I currently have two kids, one is 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding and I really haven't got any sexual feelings back yet so he's been dealing with himself however if it was 30 seconds I'd happily oblige (yes even if I wasn't getting sexual gratification myself because in a relationship I like to please the other and just because I'm not woopie about it doesn't mean it's automatically not consensual!) I just can't get my head into a full session yet.
I'd be brutal, I'd say 'oh my god, 30 seconds, what was that!!! And what exactly do you think I was getting from that! I want x y and z or you can sort yourself in future.'

Speechless

I just can't do it, vic

I cannot join in with the excusing of male bad behaviour. I am the one with the stony face around the dinner table when women laughingly complain about how shit their partners are. I cannot buy into the "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" mentality

I think it is part of the problem, not the solution

if op doesnt return this discussion is redundant.

and in that case its not helping her and i cant see the point.

he moral high ground is lost. the op posted for help and solidarity. elling her she is a chump achieves nothing in my eyes.

but if it makes you all feel morally better i guess its ok. i just felt for the op.

Fuck me, you're getting some harsh responses op!

If it makes you feel better, my shags can beat the countdown clock too sometimes.

Think some of these posters need a good shag

The 😂 and remark about not getting a chance to object really threw me. I thought you were some MRA seeking upset and nonsense over rape/consent.

If you're genuine your expectations are low and your partner is clueless or extremely nasty or both. Not many people will feel comfortable laughing along with you.

Op will still be reading. If seeing the horror and lack of acceptance that this is anywhere near acceptable will shock her out of her denial, this is the place. It is one of the reasons I am here.

Op can get her fill of "stand by your man" rhetoric pretty much every where else she goes

you know some of us put up wth shit sex for years because we had young kids/yoo hard to leave/ excuses excuses excuses.
those excuses were real.

i still love my dh. we got on . we loved each other. we just didnt have good sex.

These kinds of threads always attract the wind up merchants. It's like flies around shit when they sniff a chance to practice their skillz.

I read a lot of lighthearted threads on here and I while I get the op may have meant this to be one nothing she has said is lighthearted she may have meant it, but honestly I hope she does look again and speak to her partner she doesn't need to come back but reading what she said I can't see the humour she discribes her self as a means to his pleasure maybe it's a poorly worded post but if there's any truth then I think the op needs to look at things!

Think some of these posters need a good shag.

Seems that most of us get good shags or at least know what one is. Unlike you and OP.

Think some of these posters need a good shag

I think some of these posters have had plenty of good shags in their time and that's the point!

Why would anyone settle for anything less?

^ I concur

sometimes a bit of humility goes a long long way tho af. i respect your no nonsense approach i really do.
but its not right for everyone . sometmes a gentle approach is needed to help people get that their relationship isnt right,
it must be really easy to provide commentary when yours is.

i thought mine was. 27 years down the pan. its not easy.