Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 20 21

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/08/2017 23:14

is relied on for ferrying people home, all the time as the OP mentioned (even if only once in a while the OP).

"All the time" is not the same as "very rarely go out".

It is actually being a really shit friend.

And kicking someone out in the middle of the night when they have no idea where they are isn't?

And where did you get the idea she was smug from? You can't just make shit up to try to fit your image of the situation.

This happened to my mum as a friend encouraged her to park somewhere she shouldn't. Both friends with her contributed.

Your mum shouldn't allow people to push her into parking illegally, but since she did, in that instance they should have contributed.

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:15

If it's only her responsibility as the driver to park in the right place, then it's only her responsibility to get herself home, as she's the only driver. See how that works. Though I bet that wouldn't have gone down so well.

I have ferried people around plenty of times. Inevitably the non-drivers tend to take me completely for granted. Eventually I put a stop to that and I rarely give lifts anymore. Sometimes I will offer but it will be on my turns. And I have said a firm no a few times to 'as you have a car you'll be driving us (and picking everyone up in various locations, dropping them off), ok?'. I will take the bus with everyone else thanks. No way am I turning into a mug again.

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:15

*terms

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:17

Right just checked!! It was 2.3 miles with is mileS as in more than one!! Club was in east central. Not west end or whatever!! And yes cost was £10!!

OP posts:

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:18

So it was close to home and completely walkable.

LilQueenie · 21/08/2017 23:19

if she parked where she should not have its her own fault. did you all contribute petrol money beforehand.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 23:19

So half hour / 40 min walk?

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:20

And before you say that you were wearing heels, that's not your (ex-) friend's responsibility, don't try to blame that on her as well.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:20

So it's reasonable for a lone female to walk 2.3 miles at 4am in the cold oh and with her on one out aswell so she can look at a map which is advised against anyway for muggings, yeh very reasonable.

OP posts:

Butteredparsnip1ps · 21/08/2017 23:20

So you were miles from home, but in Central London and got a cab home for a tenner?

Was this in 1985?

ZaphodBeeblerox · 21/08/2017 23:22

I say again then. How do you live 2.3 miles away from a club in East London and still not consider yourself local/know where you are?! That's quite incredible.

Also you don't seem to know how Uber works and seem willing to throw away a perfectly decent friendship based on the principle of not shelling out an extra £10 beyond what you ended up paying for the taxi. It's not about affordability, but simply that you don't want to pay because you think your friend is unreasonable. She may well have been slightly unreasonable, but what will that get you? A self righteous feeling of outrage at being wronged? Good luck with that!

MadamePomfrey · 21/08/2017 23:22

Would it have been nice to offer her something whatever you could afford as a token yes! Her driving saved you money it would have been nice to offer something!
However personally it's my car if I park it illegally I wouldn't expect everyone else to pay. I passed my test, I know where I can and can't park and I check signs for restrictions etc. Especially in busy areas of London. It's part of being a driver as pp said unless you were all farting around so ticket expired etc the driver took the risk.
Even if I thought everyone should of paid I wouldn't of kicked anyone out of the car at that time. The friendship may not survive regardless but my conscious won't allow me to do it.

I would like details of an uber that takes you miles for a tenner though I could do with that in my life

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 23:22

It's YOU that sounds smug what. You are the one I am referring to there. That's why I quoted you.

Thing is you must be a really shit friend too, given how strenuous your defence of the OP is in this. You clearly don't realise it though.

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:23

What are you, a delicate flower? I used to walk home all the time, in the middle of the night, when I worked in a pub. You reap what you sow, maybe next time you'll think twice about taking a friend's kindness for granted.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 21/08/2017 23:25

And FfS stop saying "lone female" like this is some dangerous war zone. Muggers don't look at sex last time I checked. So if it's an area known for muggings then both men and women are unsafe. And many of us can and have walked 40 mins home in central London at 4 am. Depends on where you are.
And if you feel unsafe there is loads of public transport or even taxis/Uber's to take you home. But stop acting like your honour has been violated by the mere thought of a lone woman being asked to walk home for 40 mins in the dark at 4 am in high heels without a coat.

jenm87 · 21/08/2017 23:26

i havent seen a post saying she gave you a lift to the club? (maybe i have missed it if it has been said) if she didnt then no i wouldnt split it, if she did give you a lift there then probably would split it, but i dont agree with her throwing you out the car as anything could have happened to you, she could have spoken to you next day about it when she felt a bit more calm as i assume everyone gets annoyed when they get a ticket

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:26

That's the problem with freeloaders though - no matter how much you spell it out to them, they'll find a way to turn it around to them having been wronged.

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 23:27

What we know is:-

Friend drove everyone door to door and was going to return them to.
Got a parking ticket.
All agreed to pay a share except OP.
OP was only two miles from home.
Friend obviously knew how nearby OP lived.

I'd have told you to piss off out my car too for that short a distance.

I live in London and would think nothing of walking that.

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 23:28

too not to.

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:30

Also, I guess no one else got out of the car to keep you company, so it would seem they agreed with the driver. I do wonder what the whole story is. Maybe you have form? Maybe you swore? In any case, you're acting like a spoilt, entitled brat.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:31

As I said I've been mugged before so maybe that's why I felt vulnerable. And men were already trying to chat me up. I find some attitudes on here disgusting tbh yes I say loan female as it's advised to stick together when on a night out and not go off alone. And rapes etc happen a lot! It's not rare.

OP posts:

ChevalierTialys · 21/08/2017 23:32

Muggers don't look at sex last time I checked - quite the sweeping assumption there. Know ALL the muggers, do you? Of course some muggers choose their victims by sex ffs! How dim do you have to be to claim otherwise!

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:32

There was the driver, her sister. And her male friend. So all known to her not my personal friends just known through her.

OP posts:

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 23:32

Where's your responsibility in this? Why didn't you just agree to pay to get yourself home safely if you were so worried? You ended up having to pay anyway.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 23:34

How far from the club had you gone when she put you out

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 20 21