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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
Acromantula · 21/08/2017 23:36

I don't think you should have to pay part of the fine if it was her bad parking.

I asked a friend if she wanted to go out to a gig. She said yes and offered to drive. I said yes. We weren't late but she was driving far too fast and got a fine for speeding.

I didn't offer to pay part of the fine. She often drives too fast. This isn't the first time she's had a speeding fine.

m0therofdragons · 21/08/2017 23:37

I've only ever had one parking fine - £145 and that was 9 years ago in Kent! Parking fines in London for £35? That's usually the cost of just parking!

It's a bit unfair but I would have chipped in.

maudeismyfavouritepony · 21/08/2017 23:37

Your friend must have been really livid to chuck you out of the car. What else happened in the club for her to do that? There must be more to it unless you have some other issues going on? Even so, I would have been totallly fucked off.

Did everybody else agree to pay?

I would have been peeved too, of course but you were getting lifts to your door I presume.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:41

Nothing happened with me. She had an argument with her bf before going so maybe she was pissed off and wanted someone to take it out on. Who knows.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 23:42

Do you know why she got the ticket op?
I think that's relevant.

alleypalley · 21/08/2017 23:43

There really are some bullshit people commenting on this thread. No an Uber for £10 wouldn't 'get you 500 yards'. It would get you about 2.5 to 3 miles, easily far enough to be in a part of town you don't know in London. And even if it was only a mile, it was 4am!! I wouldn't want to walk either. I got totally lost in Old Street once which is only a mile away from where I live, I ended up finding a mini can office and getting a taxi home.

I am wandering where she was parked though to get a ticket at 4am. All parking round here is free after 6:30pm (I think, maybe a bit later I don't actually have a car anymore). But when I did have a car it was a total pain evenings and weekends as you could never find a residents bay as all the visitors to London that had driven in were parked in them.

PurpleMinionMummy · 21/08/2017 23:44

Of course op should have walked 2 miles home alone at 4am. Hence the hordes of advice out there warning women not to put themselves in such a situation Hmm.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2017 23:45

If I am driving then I am parking and if I fuck up the parking then its on me.

I am assuming that no one had a gun to her head to force her to park there and she chose the spot? Then its on her.

And I am fucking disgusted at how some people are on at the OP, I bet that if she had come on with this story and saying she was assaulted she would have been told that she should have got a cab and that her friend should burn in hell......

LadyMaryCrawley1922 · 21/08/2017 23:45

All of you saying that the passengers should pay are bonkers. They didn't park illegally.
If someone gives me a lift I might offer towards petrol and parking, I'm not paying a fee for their stupidity in parking as well!

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 23:45

Thank you it was 2.3 miles but not something I would have wanted to walk late at night after drinking. I'm not actually sure why she got it as I literally know nothing about driving. Just think she parked somewhere she shouldn't have.

OP posts:
pringlecat · 21/08/2017 23:47

You haven't commented on whether you contributed to petrol for this journey and/or any previous ones? If she's been paying for the upkeep of the car and the petrol to get you places, this fine would have been the last bloody straw for her.

Kicking someone out at 4am in a quiet country lane in the middle of nowhere - unforgivable. 4am in central London near a tube station, buses and within hailing distance of a black cab - hmm, not so much.

I appreciate you feel extra vulnerable due to a bad experience, but she didn't dump you in the middle of nowhere. She left you somewhere that you had options.

If you want to salvage this friendship, I think you both owe each other an apology and you need to chip in. And going forward, you need to offer petrol money. If you can't afford your share of the petrol money, you can't afford to go out.

Donttouchthethings · 21/08/2017 23:49

Back in the day, I had a friend who didn't drink and would happily give us all lifts. We used to appreciate and support him every step of the way. He never had to buy a drink - we always kept him topped up with lemonade or whatever he fancied. We helped with any navigation, including parking. And if he was ready to leave, we were too. Had he got a parking ticket, I'm quite sure we'd have all been involved and sorted it out between us. He wasn't offering a taxi service, he was our mate, he was helping us out and we were all in it together.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 21/08/2017 23:51

Fucking hell, this place just gets worse and worse!! Angry

Fuck off with all the nit picking over uber costs and distance! Nothing to do with the initial question. I hate when threads turn into bunfights because twats have nothing better to do than pull someone apart. Of course the OP shouldn't have walked through unfamiliar streets at 4am, alone. What the fuck is wrong with some of you!

OP, seriously, hide the thread.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 23:52

Ok, if you don't know how she got it, I'm trying to imagine how the conversation went...

'Oh no, I've got a ticket.'
' oh well, your problem. Take me to 4 smith street now.'

I can't see how a conversation wouldn't go...
'Oh no, I've got a fine.'
' oh no, what for?'

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 21/08/2017 23:53

"You haven't commented on whether you contributed to petrol for this journey"

YES SHE HAS! OP confirmed she paid petrol money for this trip. RTFT

Shadow666 · 22/08/2017 00:00

God, the vipers are out in full force on this one, eh?

It sounds like the driver's sister has been using the driver as her own personal taxi service since she passed her test. This isn't the OP's fault. I also think it's crazy to drive to a night clubbing in London.

I don't think the OP was to blame. It sounds like she caught caught in the middle of someone else's drama.

For what it's worth, the other day I gave a friend a lift and he asked me to stop at the bus stop to let him off. I refused and stopped at a better place nearby where I wouldn't have gotten a fine. It's important to stand up for yourself when it's your car. I guess the driver is newly passed but will learn this pretty fast.

I wouldn't have walked home by myself at 4am either.

pringlecat · 22/08/2017 00:01

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Apologies, it's late and there are 10 pages and I must have missed that bit. I still think she should chip in though - I can understand the driver being frustrated if she's the one who always drives and is therefore the only one to have all the negative aspects. She can't drink when she goes out, she has to be the responsible one, and apparently now she gets parking tickets.

And it was 4am near a tube station in central London. I'm not suggesting the OP should have walked for miles, but she could have used public transport or called for a cab (which she did). She wasn't dumped in the middle of nowhere.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 22/08/2017 00:03

It's YOU that sounds smug what. You are the one I am referring to there. That's why I quoted you.

What have I got to be smug about? Confused

Thing is you must be a really shit friend too, given how strenuous your defence of the OP is in this.

Not wanting to pay someone else's fine due to their stupidity is not being a shit friend. Chucking someone out like this woman did is being a shit friend and a horrible human being.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 00:04

She started ranting!! I didn't get much of a chance to ask many questions tbh she went off on one. And even if I did ask she probably wasn't gonna admit it was through her own fault! In fact she was acting like she didn't know why she got it.

OP posts:
PurpleMinionMummy · 22/08/2017 00:05

OP said she always offers to drive. If she doesn't want to drive because she wants to drink or whatever, presumably she wouldn't keep offering.

RebelRogue · 22/08/2017 00:05

@Letstryagainshallwe this is pointless.

You are totally in the right,she's obviously a ranting,raving,irresponsible,shit friend and you're better off without her. Move on.

Better?

MsGameandWatching · 22/08/2017 00:13

Letting your friend carry the can when she's done you repeated favours and this is one time she messed up parking wise, which is SO easily done in London, is what makes a shit friend. I'd be disgusted with myself if I quibbled over that. I cannot imagine how such a convo would play out and you could still be friends because they'd know you didn't have their back. I do not know a single person in my RL that would. I cannot imagine a scenario in my circle where one person would sit there and refuse to pay like that. I think some people on here have a very weird and rather sad idea of what friendship means.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 00:14

Repeated favours! I last went out with her over a year ago!

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 22/08/2017 00:16

What exactly did you say when they asked?

pringlecat · 22/08/2017 00:17

Let's try some different questions.

Do you like her? Do you want to stay friends?