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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:48

And yeah I find most guys are and some guys aren't. But I don't presume all guys are not going to take no for an answer and I keep my self safe and prepared as best I can for those who won't take no for an answer.

I'm just answering to what your saying. Trying to save you a bit of money by saying you may have been as safe to get the bus.

I might disagree with how you approached it but I'm not arguing with you. I would do it one way you would do it another that's fine. I can see where your coming from can you see where I'm coming from?

BetterEatCheese · 21/08/2017 22:50

A friend of mine got a speeding ticket with lots of us in the car - we didn't offer to split it, now wondering if I was being unreasonable.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/08/2017 22:51

A friend of mine got a speeding ticket with lots of us in the car - we didn't offer to split it, now wondering if I was being unreasonable.

You weren't being unreasonable; she was the one acting illegally therefore she should pay. Exactly the same as in this situation, too.

Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:52

Nah speeding is a bit different unless you were all pressurising then to drive like a jackass.

Parking especially in central London is so easy to get wrong.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/08/2017 22:53

As said, it's irrelevant, I doubt any of them will be inviting you out again.

Why would she want to go out with someone who would kick her out in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar location because they threw a tantrum that other people wouldn't pay for their own illegal actions?

PurpleMinionMummy · 21/08/2017 22:54

I don't think yabu. I wouldn't expect non drivers to have a clue about where I could legally (or not) park. I wouldn't expect fellow drivers to take any notice either if i was taking them. if you're driving, it's your responsibility to make sure you park appropriately.

Be thankful she didn't park so stupidly she had her car wiped out by someone. By mumsnet standards you'd have to pay for 1/4 of her car Grin

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:55

I can't see how it was that unfamiliar. It must've been about a mile tops from where she lives since it only cost a tenner to get home.

How is you tell the uber where to pick you up if you didn't know where you were?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:55

It was cold I already said I had no coat. No way was I waiting around for a bus like I said irrelevant really as I wouldn't have felt safe on a bus at that time for night.

OP posts:
IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 22:56

She wasn't thrown naked into a rape dungeon for goodness sake! It was London and she could phone a cab. Like most responsible adults do all the time. Being a piss-taking user had consequences, that's all. But yeah sure it's the driver's fault. That often happens with people whose kindness gets taken advantage of one too many times. They decide enough is enough, and yet they end up being the bad guy. Unbelievable.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:56

Here we go again I said when I first got kicked out I didn't know!! I had to look for the street name.

OP posts:
MyLittlePickleBoo · 21/08/2017 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RebelRogue · 21/08/2017 22:57

YWBU not offering to pay and arguing about it. I would've and had before when something similar happened.
SWvvvvU to kick you out of the car,alone at 4 am and a pretty shitty human being.

LonginesPrime · 21/08/2017 22:58

And I find most guys would stop trying to chat you up if you replied with I'm sorry I'm not interested in just waiting to go home. Most guys are massively respectful.

OT, I know, but is this assumption based on most guys you know, or on most guys who spend their time trying to chat up female clubbers on a London street at 4am?

I've taken an uber before after deciding it's not worth the risk of waiting 14 or so minutes for the next bus with a load of drunken lairy blokes around on an otherwise deserted street, so I can see why, if no public transport is forthcoming, the best option might be to jump in a cab or an uber.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:59

You would not feel safe on a bus with a regulated driver and other passengers but you got an uber?

Either you're not v sensible in general or were drunk.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/08/2017 23:03

Being a piss-taking user had consequences, that's all.

Not wanting to pay a fine because someone else parked illegally is not being a "piss taking user"; it's being a normal human being.

Want2beme · 21/08/2017 23:04

OP has said that she did give petrol money and doesn't get lots of lifts from friend as OP doesn't go out much.

It was disgraceful of her to chuck you out of her car OP. I couldn't be friends with someone who'd do that, even when done in the heat of the moment. Drivers are responsible for their actions, so where she parked was her decision and she has to bear the cost of the fine. Having said that, I would've volunteered to make a contribution, as it's just a kind thing to do. Have you heard from her since?

burnoutbabe · 21/08/2017 23:05

Do people not understand uber? You use an app, that app knows where you are and collects you and bill is charged to your credit card so you don't need cash.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 23:07

I knew that.

The fact that the op didnt and yet she's the one who used the uber is proof that certain elements of this story make absolutely no sense and are not the whole picture.

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 23:07

It's not some random down the street who parked illegally. Of course you wouldn't contribute then. It's the person who didn't drink, and is relied on for ferrying people home, all the time as the OP mentioned (even if only once in a while the OP). Sounds like she got fed up of being treated as a taxi, which culminated in the OP being chucked out of the car. A friend would have offered to chip in, not merely treated the OP as their personal taxi.

ShakingAndShocked · 21/08/2017 23:08

In the OP:

'I was miles from home'

Yet the Uber was a tenner? Seriously, jog on. Between deliberately choosing ignore PP's repeated Q's vis did you contribute to petrol - which you patently did not - and the utter tosh vis this magical Uber you're just wasting people's time so why bother?

I'd bet there is so much more to this story - I seriously hope the Fail or someone picks it up and your driving friend sees it then hops on here to, erm, 'clarify' the situation Grin

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 23:09

Not wanting to pay a fine because someone else parked illegally is not being a "piss taking user"; it's being a normal human being.

It is actually being a really shit friend. Happy to stick around for the good bits, quick to disassociate when things go wrong. As I and other posters have said, it's very easy to pick up fines in London if you drive. To sit there smug in the knowledge that it wasn't you driving so you're unaffected makes you a nasty tight arse.

KimchiLaLa · 21/08/2017 23:09

I would have offered to contribute

This happened to my mum as a friend encouraged her to park somewhere she shouldn't. Both friends with her contributed.

Killerqueen2244 · 21/08/2017 23:10

Did she knowingly park illegally? No one questioned her parking because it looked legit?

MummytoCSJH · 21/08/2017 23:10

I don't think you're unreasonable. As someone who doesn't drive, how were you to know that she parked illegally/in the wrong place? That's her responsibility, not her passengers.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 23:10

If a taxi home was a tenner do you all live in different corners of London? Or do you all live close?

Because unless you all live close then you were all expecting her to schlep round London to drop you all off.

And if you all live close why did you all share a cab home and let your friend get a drink and be able to join in the night for once?

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