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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 22:39

op, people are questioning the cab because you said you couldn't afford to contribute to her fine in your op. Then you chose an expensive cab over a cheaper tube or an even cheaper bus or an even cheaper walk.
Also, on your phone is a function called google maps. If you click on it, it shows you where you are.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:39

*live

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:40

I have no partner. I tried to call my dad but he didn't answer as expected due to the time. Well there was a group of men trying to chat me up as I said so I wasn't waiting at the bus stop!

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:41

So how come you had money for an uber but not to pay your share? Btw uber has the most complaints about sexual inappropriateness and assault of all night modes of transport.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:41

I've already explained it felt unsafe waiting for a bus judge that all you like. The cab was half the price I would need to pay for the fine.

OP posts:
Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:42

isnt the centre of London fairly busy almost 24/7? So it's nit as if you were pitched out on a dark unlit rural road

oddleofnoodle · 21/08/2017 22:42

I think that when it was her car she should have spent the time ensuring she parked legally. It's not your fault unless you advised she parked in a certain illegal place. The driver has that responsibility to look after their own property.

I do understand her reaction but, whoever leaves a vulnerable individual at 4am after a night out isn't a friend.

I wouldn't speak to her again. It's not the fight about the ticket it's leaving a friend in a dangerous situation that would make me want to cut ties.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/08/2017 22:42

So how come you had money for an uber but not to pay your share?

Because it's not her share. The driver is responsible for parking so the fine is on the drivers head if they park so badly they manage to get a fine.

Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:42

And I find most guys would stop trying to chat you up if you replied with I'm sorry I'm not interested in just waiting to go home. Most guys are massively respectful. But it doesn't matter that you got a cab the confusion is you saying you had no money to pay towards the fine

ShakingAndShocked · 21/08/2017 22:42

So you're in Central London in unfamiliar (so presumably some distance from home given zero knowledge of area) yet were able to get an Uber all the way home for a tenner?

Even with the enhanced Sat. night pricing and then the middle of the might pricing?

Bollocks. An Uber at that time would, for a tenner, get you about 500 metres.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:43

I didn't pay as I'm not the driver. She shouldn't have parked illegally.

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 22:43

You'd end the friendship over being kicked out the car? What friendship? You're not friends if you sit there and smugly assert that SHE is the legal driver and SHE chose where to park so SHE gets to carry the can, even though you went out as a group and she did all the driving door to door, saving you all £20 each and she does that every time you go out. To be happy to watch your "friend" in that position knowing how out of pocket she will be and how shit her night is because of it, means you're not friends.

Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:43

Yeah your right there @whattodoaboutthis2017 that was poor wording on my part. It's just the ops original wording was that she couldn't afford to pay towards it that's what I was getting it

Killerqueen2244 · 21/08/2017 22:44

Did your friend know where she was going? Has she been to the area before? Did she see the parking restriction and assume there wouldn't be wardens out that late at night?

When I'm a passenger and we're going somewhere new I'd help with directions and checking parking restrictions if we're not sure (double lines etc) or if it looked a bit dodgy when we pulled up I'd have at least questioned the decision to park there. If you had piped up and said 'this looks a bit dubious or do you need a ticket?' then YANBU however I think it's unfair to jump in the back of the car and absolve yourself of all responsibility. She's not a taxi service!

ZaphodBeeblerox · 21/08/2017 22:44

But OP if you were within the radius of a £10 uber ride at 4 am (even with no traffic at all that isn't very far) then it doesn't make sense that you are also super unfamiliar with London. Many of us who consider ourselves Londoners live a £20-25 uber ride away from Soho/Kensington/Wherever you are going out.

So your story doesn't make sense. Hmm

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:44

You had been drinking.

You friend has to drive you a lot because she is the only one who drives.

This to me says you took advantage maybe more than once and this time she was pissed off.

If you had been drinking you were likely argumentative and her patience appears to have snapped

She will have been stressed as upset re the ticker which you refused to pay and I'll guarantee you were argumentative in tone with her about that.

Whatever the friendship is toast. You better make sure you have money for an uber and aren't so drunk you can't use google maps the next night, huh?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:45

Now most guys are respectful?? Really I've been harassed many a times. But whatever this is going way off topic. Some people just love to argue.

OP posts:
oddleofnoodle · 21/08/2017 22:45

And for all the people saying, 'You had money for a cab but, not a parking fine'.

You have have savings and still be broke. Money spent in a situation that is unexpected and money spent in an emergency situation is different.

Coldkebab · 21/08/2017 22:46

Some fines dont need paying. Depends on wording. I didnt pay mine and was never chased for it because it was a private company. Martin lewis knows more go on his website

Booboobooboo84 · 21/08/2017 22:46

@letstryagainshallwe that's fair enough but your original posts hinted you couldn't afford to pay towards it. I feel something more must have happened for you to be kicked out at 4am. Couldn't you appreciate that yes your friend made a mistake but you could all make the mistake less collectively by sharing it?

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:46

And you must've been somewhere with lots of clubs to be out at 4am. And an uber home at that time of night in London would be expensive surely?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:46

Maybe the driver felt sorry for me who knows!

OP posts:
flutterby12 · 21/08/2017 22:47

I smell 💩

IneedaMagnum · 21/08/2017 22:47

As you have been evading the 'did you pay towards petrol' questions, I'm assuming you didn't. I guess you think that's also something only the driver is responsible for, despite doing you all a massive favour by paying for petrol, wear and tear, staying sober etc. It sounds like she was at the end of her tether and had been taken advantage off one too many times. I don't know if you drive, but if not, perhaps one day, when you do, and other people keep expecting lifts from you without contributing anything, you might understand how your ex-friend felt.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 22:47

*I didn't pay as I'm not the driver. She shouldn't have parked illegally+

So now we have it, it was nothing about not being able to afford it and they all knew it, you just didn't want to help her out when she was in the midst of doing you a favour.

As said, it's irrelevant, I doubt any of them will be inviting you out again.