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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 22/08/2017 22:11

So at which exact point in time can I kick your DD out of my car and it is ok.Would that be the morning of her 16th birthday or her 18th and you won't come round with steam pouring out of your ears for child abuse?

Are you serious? Clearly the answer is when she is over 21 and can go clubbing in London with her mates till four in the morning, getting drunk and lairy. Why would you compare it to children? How bizzare.

abigailgabble · 22/08/2017 22:17

YADBSU

she shouldn't have left you but if you weren't being SO U in the first place...

jacks11 · 22/08/2017 22:21

I think YWBU for not contributing- if you could afford to go out and get a taxi, you could afford to contribute. It is true the driver is responsible for where she parks, but if a genuine mistake or you all left later than planned then I think it would be the right thing to do to offer to contribute.

She was BU to throw you out of the car at 4am, seems quite harsh. Did you argue or did you just say "no, I'm not going to contribute" and then she chucked you out? That seems a very odd turn of events. What did your other friends say/have said since? Did any of them offer to get out with you?

mummmy2017 · 22/08/2017 22:25

But your trying to say there is a point when it is suddenly not morally wrong to chuck a female out of a car at 4 in the morning.
The person did it out of spite not fear for their lives. Which makes them Morally wrong.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 22:30

Hold on.

A drunk person slabbering and she was not supposed to say sit down and zip it or walk?

What planet do you live on that it's ok for the op to behave like that? And she did - I'd bet my life, otherwise the sister and other friend would have defended her.

mummmy2017 · 22/08/2017 23:24

it was over not paying the parking fine, did you read before you bothered to write. and you were not there so you have no way of knowing and this is just YOUR view,

Morsecode · 23/08/2017 00:16

Bet my last penny that you were such a joy on that night out that your attitude to the ticket was the last drop for them. But no, you still can't believe they had the temerity to throw you out, do you?

Morsecode · 23/08/2017 00:18

Finding your own way back from central lonfon, east or otherwise, is a total non-event OP. Get over it and work on your attitude.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 00:21

Lol was there a need to post twice?? Bothered you that much?? Lol

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 23/08/2017 00:25

Well it made you "lol" twice so you clearly enjoyed BOTH posts.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 00:28

Yeh I am finding this amusing tbh. Grin

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 23/08/2017 00:31

That doesn't surprise me.

Ceto · 23/08/2017 00:34

Soloman, she was only two miles from home, and near to bus routes and underground stations.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 23/08/2017 11:30

You do sound awful op. I don't think you should be expected to pay the fine, unless you agreed to take the risk which it seems you didn't and no discussion was had so no need to pay. Being me I probably would have offered but not equal amounts as I wasn't the driver.

She was wrong to kick you out but at least you had a means to get home. Just forget it now as I'm sure neither of you will be talking again. It doesn't matter if you should have paid or not, the fact is neither of you now like eachother for whatever reason and that's the end of it.

grannytomine · 23/08/2017 18:26

Ceto, the girl I referred to was only a couple of miles from home, there was a bus route but not so frequent in the middle of the night. Didn't stop a violent rape.

Have you read about the 22 year old who was violently raped (apparently her mother didn't even recognise her when she saw her) at 3 am in Nottingham City Centre? Horrible case, the girl was thrown off a bus as she was 20p short of the fare. I hope she is OK, truly horrific experience. This is a link to the case www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9320185/Driver-who-threw-student-off-bus-before-she-was-raped-ignored-company-policy.html I would like to think someone would offer my DD 20 p if she was in that situation and I would if I saw a girl in that position, shouldn't have been necessary though as the driver should not have left her stranded at 3 am.

ChevalierTialys · 23/08/2017 18:44

@grannytomine that's the case I was referring to upthread. Most of the posters have ignored it, perhaps with your link they'll actually consider the seriousness of dumping a "friend" out of the car at 4am.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 19:07

Yeh the buses to my house can be every half hour at night who would wanna wait round for that! Anyway I find it assuming as has been pointed out by many posters that this same question was asked but from the driver and then everyone was saying it was the drivers responsibility so yes assuming how people change their opinion to suit!

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 23/08/2017 19:14

Can you imagine the thrashing the driver would be getting if you had said he was your boyfriend...

grannytomine · 23/08/2017 19:29

ChevalierTialys, glad its not just me. Whatever the rights and wrongs about the fine and who pays I can't believe people think it is OK to throw her out at 4 am. The fact she could get a taxi doesn't help as she could have been robbed/raped/murdered before the taxi got there.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 19:34

Good point mummmy2017

OP posts:
Chocachoo · 23/08/2017 19:50

Very tight from you. Yes as the driver it's in her interests to park legally but she'd never have been fined if not agreeing to drive so you could all have a lift.
As for the kicking you out at 4am, presumably if you'd been a bit more generous with your friend it wouldn't have happened - you were so determined NOT to contribute you'd rather be dumped on the street at 4am and start looking for a taxi to spend your tenner on instead!

annielouise · 23/08/2017 19:55

I initially thought you should have chipped in but I'm now on your side.

To those people saying 4am in east central London is fine and a non-event, not necessarily. I would not like to be walking about in heels with no coat and walking 2.5 miles. You can get some very deserted streets that you wouldn't want to walk down anywhere. I've been mugged in London broad daylight, busy road at 6pm and another time/place where you'd have thought it wouldn't happen. Witnesses didn't want to get involved in the first instance as they lived in the area and didn't want the repercussions. Anything can happen and I wouldn't have taken the chance. No matter how angry I'd felt at you I wouldn't have left you there.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 19:59

The time I got mugged was walking down a dark street after literally just getting off the bus and having a 5-10 minute walk from the bus stop to my house. The mugger followed me trying to touch me and when I told him not to he grabbed my bag and pushed me onto the floor. The bag was around me and the handle snapped and he ran. It had my keys and phone in and I was left with no money no keys no phone on the street. So yes I got a cab so it would take me straight to my door!

OP posts:
BorisTrumpsHair · 23/08/2017 20:00

Shit situation.

I drive. I take responsibility for where I park. I'd think most drivers do. I've certainly never been in a situation where I've taken a poll from passengers as to where I should park my car.

I don't expect others to be responsible for my rubbish decisions either.

Argue about the £20 each / fine. But to kick you out and leave you stranded was bang out of order as they say in east london.

Cherrytart6 · 23/08/2017 20:17

Regardless how many people were in in the car, you should have paid petrol money and parking costs. She shouldn't have expected you to cover the price of the parking ticket BUT it would have been kind of you to contribute something - £10 or similar.