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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:

AnnetteCurtains · 22/08/2017 11:56

granny I haven't said anything about the situation . I have commented that what you suggested is spiteful and it is

differentnameforthis · 22/08/2017 12:08

Depends, did anyone suggest she should park her car illegally? No? Then it's her responsibility.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 12:09

Since it's central London why don't you all get a bus or tube there and a taxi home and factor that in to the cost?

dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 12:10

Jesus op you are getting your arse handed to you.As a non driver how the hell would you know where to park or not.Shes the driver,its down to her to park properly.

And its not acceptable to throw a woman out of a car at 4 in the morning.Awful behaviour from the driver.And whether she could have walked home from where she was.She didnt feel safe enough to do it.

I have to say from a site thats supposed to be for women,a lot of you are victim blaming.And basically telling her to put up with feeling uncomfortable with men hassling her.Shame on you.

catsarenice · 22/08/2017 12:20

Yadnbu- driver's responsibility to park correctly. If she'd taken the risk to park there and before getting out had said 'not really meant to park here - shall I park here anyway and we'll split the cost i get a ticket?' that would be a different story but she chose to park there. ExBF once got a ticket when he went to get me a McDonald's breakfast - tried to say I should pay as he went for me but I wasn't responsible for where he chose to park!!!

MsGameandWatching · 22/08/2017 12:40

Look I know people are shit scared of London but 4 am near a tube station, two miles from home in central London is NOT a big deal. I've lived here for 15 years.

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 12:41

Non drivers.

You honestly can't read road signs or understand where to park? Seriously I helped my dad at age 12. It is not the same as driving. I am sure most non drivers can figure this out.

Kicking you out at 4am is not acceptable. Quite nasty. You did the rightvthing getting a taxi. A girl was attacked in my town at 2am in the morning.
However, you not offering even some contribution and having no responsibility for looking at parking signs is tight and selfish.

cluelessnewmum · 22/08/2017 12:51

You should definitely have offered to split the cost,this happened to me recently and friends offered immediately to split. She made a big sacrifice driving you all to your night out, and not drinking etc, is the least you could all do.

She shouldn't have kicked you out but I would have been really irritated if you'd refused and I'd never give you another lift. It would probably permanently affect the friendship as well.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 22/08/2017 12:55

I would have offered, however as the driver it is her sole responsibility of parking within the regulation, irregardless of the reason why she parked there!

She's a C**T, for kicking you out, and due to her actions, the friendship would have ended for me at this point.

dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 12:55

You honestly can't read road signs or understand where to park? Seriously I helped my dad at age 12. It is not the same as driving. I am sure most non drivers can figure this out.

Well if thats the case the driver should most definately aware.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 12:58

Sorry I just seen that comment. She didn't ask for help parking lol if she did I would have wondered how she passed her test! So it wasn't even on my radar to check she had parked correct as I assumed the drivers knows where to park! Do others seriously help people there with to park?! lol

OP posts:

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 13:04

Dear lord above.

mumsnet needs the bot from Reddit.

BlondeB83 · 22/08/2017 13:07

Uber is dead cheap in Central London, South Bank to Kings Cross cost me £6.80 so for those saying £10 is too cheap, it's definitely doable.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 13:09

As I said I've been mugged before so I'm cautious about being out late at night alone! Maybe nothing bad has happened to you but if it did you might feel different. I don't know what tube station I was near I didn't see one but I assume being central london there must have been one around. There was bus stops but I was not going to stand on the street being chatted up. That's my choice. Doesn't need debating.

OP posts:

BakedBeans47 · 22/08/2017 13:13

While the fine was her responsibility I can see why she was pissed off at you for not contributing. You were happy enough to be chauffeured around by her and not have to spend money on transport which you would otherwise have to do if no one drove.

She probably was BU as well chucking you out but if she felt you were taking the piss on one level I wouldn't blame her.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 13:15

Chauffeured around?! People DO realise she was going regardless of whether I went or not lol she didn't literally just come along to be the driver. She was going either way.

OP posts:

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 13:17

Do others seriously help people there with to park?! l

Yes we are all looking in an unknown area, checking road signs etc. I just did this with my friend yesterday.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 13:20

So your friend can never drive alone then if she needs people to help her with where to park? Lol

OP posts:

bogofeternalstench · 22/08/2017 13:21

Jesus-fucking-Christ! Who the hell are you people? I swear, sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe.

No, OP, you were not being unreasonable. You weren't taking advantage by accepting an offered lift, especially since you gave petrol money and don't accept lifts from her often. As a driver, any fines incurred from bad driving or parking are on your ex-friend. Maybe if you had plenty of spare cash and relied on the ex-friend for lifts frequently it might be nice to offer to help with the parking fine, but you were certainly under no obligation and in her shoes I wouldn't have expected contributions. My fuck up, my responsibility.

On the other hand, abandoning any lone female, friend or not, in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar place is simply not on. Even if they have pissed you off. That right there is a friendship deal breaker.

AprilLady4 · 22/08/2017 13:24

littlemissangrypants · 22/08/2017 13:25

85 000 women are raped a year.
Women wearing short skirts and being drunk has been used in courts as a defence of rape. Op was dressed in clubbing gear, having had alcohol and she was alone on a street at 4am. If anything had happened she would likely have been blamed for enticing men with her clothing.
That's the reality of this situation. She was vulnerable and alone. I know not all men are rapists but 85 000 women a year find out that some men are.
Op next time you go out make sure you have booked a licenced cab
to take you home before you even leave the house. Take a self defence class to make you feel less scared. Don't leave yourself in a situation like last night again.
Whatever happened - I do not think £20 is ever worth risking another person being put at risk of rape. Ever.

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 13:32

Today 13:20 Letstryagainshallwe

So your friend can never drive alone then if she needs people to help her with where to park? Lol

Of course not! My point is we all help as that is a kind and responsible thing to do.

Anybody else help or just me?

dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 13:32

I don't understand why the op is getting blamed for her friends Choices.The friend parked, the friend dumped her in the middle of the night.

Op has clearly stated
She paid petrol
Friend was going out anyway
Friend parked
Friend got ticket
Friend had a hissy fit and threw op out of the car at 4 in the morning

No matter that's something you just don't do.Leave a friend at the side of the road.Thats shitty behaviour right there.

Tinkerbec · 22/08/2017 13:33

Also it isn't part of the test to read about parking fines in areas. Unless things have changed since I passed.

GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman · 22/08/2017 13:40

I have been the driver in this situation and not asked others to pay it. Similarly had car broken into when parked/giving others a lift. Again, my car so you take it on the chin.

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