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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
Loveluck7 · 22/08/2017 11:12

Op, you are wondering if you are right but have you thought if you were being kind? They are not the same thing. Even if you think you are in the right it is still possible to do the kind thing.
You were not being kind when you refused to share the cost of the ticket and she was not being kind when she threw you out of the car.

Shadow666 · 22/08/2017 11:13

Wait! Has anyone asked if the OP paid petrol money yet?

Wink

I reckon you'll get a 50/50 split on whether you should have paid for the fine or not. Still think it was shitty of her to kick you out like that.

problembottom · 22/08/2017 11:14

YABU. I've had a few friends like you in my time, ditched em all. If not literally from my car at 4am.

NannyRed · 22/08/2017 11:14

YANBU She made the choice of where to park, . She was being a complete cow when she kicked you out at 4am.

Would she hold the passengers responsible if she also got a speeding ticket?

As driver everything that happens in that car is her responsibility. I'd certainly never consider someone who moans about her own poor choices then kicks you out of the car at 4am to be a friend, hell with friends like her you need no enemies.

mummmy2017 · 22/08/2017 11:14

Bluntness so if we chuck you out of a car at 4am in the morning, 3 miles from home that's acceptable?
This is wrong on so many levels, and that is the bit that is the WORST.
This woman is not your friend, your safe home, move on and forget her, never go out with her ever again.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 11:16

I only added the petrol thing as people ASKED I didn't put it in my op as I was asking about the FINE. And I've already said the other passangers were her sister and her male friend so I only know them through her. So no why would they get out.

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 22/08/2017 11:17

2.3 miles from home. Not 3. Round down. Even my ten year old knows this 😉

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 11:24

You're stroppy here. And I assume you haven't been drinking.

Odds are you were SAF at 4am after drinking.

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 11:27

AnnetteCurtains and kicking someone out of the car at 4 in the morning isn't spiteful and dangerous. How would she feel if the OP had got attacked/raped/murdered.

MsGameandWatching · 22/08/2017 11:29

Like I said, that's a lot of responsibility to put on someone who has done you a favour but then you won't even cough up when things go wrong.

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 11:30

I honestly don't understand how some people's minds work. I don't understand a woman who would kick a friend out of a car at 4 am. When my DD was going out clubbing we always always said to her and friends you stick together and look after each other. The idea that they would do something deliberately never occurred to me, just reminding them to stay together. The idea that they would have deliberately done it beggars belief.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 11:32

No one else got out of the car with the op. And she does nit describe anyone remonstrating with the driver to let her stay in the car.

That suggests that she was the one out of order.

hippyhippyshake · 22/08/2017 11:34

Why did she park where she did? I'm just wondering if people were making a fuss about paying for an NCP ticket so the driver thought it was cheaper to find roadside parking? The trouble in London is no double yellows but plenty of microscopic parking notices half a mile away that generate lots of angst for the casual driver. And can I add, it's not just parking it's dropping off and picking up that gets tickets as well. (Victim speaking here). I don't know what other cities are like but London is awful and I can't see why the driver would prefer to drive the few miles to a club when public transport is so good.

Also why didn't anybody else protest at you being forced to get out? Were you endangering the driver in any way?

AnnetteCurtains · 22/08/2017 11:38

Missing the point granny

Liskee · 22/08/2017 11:40

Send her £20 in an envelope. Never speak to her again.

Caenea · 22/08/2017 11:42

I wouldn't have contributed and none of my friends would ever ask Confused

Unless I'd held a knife to their throat and forced them to park illegally, it's not your fault she can't park properly and legally.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 11:43

They were all her friends so no I don't expect them to stick up for me. The male friend kept quite and her and her sister was arguing with me about it.

OP posts:
Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 11:46

If she had been that out of order someone would have said so.

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 11:48

AnnetteCurtains well if you can't see it was a spiteful and dangerous thing to do I can't help you. I hope you never kick someone out of a car at 4 am but if you do I hope you can live with the consequences if something bad happens.

gingergenius · 22/08/2017 11:49

She is absolutely not a taxi driver. As such as a mate it would be the decent thing to help her out in return.

If a taxi driver got a ticket, would she also be expected to contribute? No! The OP gave petrol money. She didn't choose where to park as she wasn't the driver so why should it be the OP's responsibility to pay. Worst case scenario is that the friend could have had a calm conversation the morning and discuss it. Throwing someone out of your car at 4am is shit.

butterfly56 · 22/08/2017 11:49

YABU pay the £20. If you hadn't have been so nasty in the first place she wouldn't have kicked you out the car.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 11:50

I have put someone out of a car. A drunk bloke who was Slabbering at me because I wouldn't take him somewhere.

I was the sober driver doing lifts home as usual.

It was 1/2 am and he was maybe 7 or 8 miles from home.

Zero fucks do I give. And I would do the same again tomorrow.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 11:51

Ok I never gave suggestions where to park as I don't know the area!! Now apparently I must have! And no I wasn't "endangering her" what do you think I was doing to endanger her exactly? Just to add we would never get public transport to a club. Her included.

OP posts:
Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 11:52

Why are you even agonising over this? The friendship is gone. Fucked. Kaput. Finito.

Even if she is all da bitches and you are snow fucking white.

She doesn't want anything to do with you and you don't want anything to do with her.

Thebluedog · 22/08/2017 11:53

YABU for not contributing £20, and she was BU for kicking you out of the car in the early hours.

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