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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman · 22/08/2017 13:41

I have been the driver in this situation and not asked others to pay it. Similarly had car broken into when parked/giving others a lift. Again, my car so you take it on the chin.

Bluntness100 · 22/08/2017 13:42

They were all her friends so no I don't expect them to stick up for me. The male friend kept quite and her and her sister was arguing with me about it

I'm assuming that argument wasn't one sided and you were arguing back. That's how arguments tend to work. And no one stood up for you because they weren't your friends they were hers? Right, So because of that they all felt it fine to dump you on the side of the road? Not because of your behavuour?

Something is missing from this story isn't it and it's the way you were behaving that caused a stone cold woman, who is otherwise kind as she invited you and was taking you there and back to behave like this and for the others to let it happen.

Anyway, you saved yourself a tenner , you can feel happy about that, Enjoy spending it op.

5foot5 · 22/08/2017 13:44

Your friend was irresponsible and unreasonable for throwing you out of the car at 4am.
You were being perfectly sensible to get a taxi if you felt unsafe in that situation.

However, what you originally asked was "WIBU for not contributing?" and IMO then yes YABU for not doing that. If you couldn't have afforded £20 at that point you could have offered the £10 you did have as a gesture of goodwill and told her you would get the remaining £10 to her asap. If she had parked somewhere where she had to pay then surely you would have offered to share that?

You also said:
So it wasn't even on my radar to check she had parked correct as I assumed the drivers knows where to park! Do others seriously help people there with to park?! lol

The physical aspect of getting in to the space then that is down to the driver - although if it is a tight space it is not unheard of for a driver to ask the passenger to pop out and see how much room they have. Also judging whether a parking place is safe and not inconveniencing other road users is something I would expect a driver to know. But if we are talking about local regulations e.g. "No parking between 8am and 8pm", "No parking for more than 20 minutes", "Residents only" or whatever it was then that is something a non-driver should be able to work out as easily as a driver so no excuse really to say that you couldn't be expected to know. You could read a sign surely?

A similar situation happened to me years ago when four of us went out with the only friend who had a car then. We all thought she had parked OK but it turned out that in the dark and in an unfamiliar place she had parked in a street with resident's only parking. And yes we DID all contribute to the fine. Of course we did.

IneedaMagnum · 22/08/2017 13:53

'She was going either way'. There you have it. The typical selfish mentality of people who don't think being given a lift by someone, therefore saving them money and hassle, is anything to be grateful for. Was she going out of her way to pick you up/drop you off? I bet she was but I bet you don't see it that way either: 'it was only 5 minutes out of the way, how could that possibly inconvenience my chauffeur friend... Am I right? I can imagine how the conversation went that led you to get chucked out.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 13:54

I said they were arguing WITH ME. So I never said I wasn't part of the argument!! Or can't you read?! However there was TWO of them and against me. Like I said the man stayed quiet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 13:56

She passes my house on the way. Like I said first time I've been out with her in over a year so she's hardly my chauffeur but no I must be lying!

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 22/08/2017 13:57

Shocked at rhe minority of people who would take the approach of "screw her, I wouldn't pay, her fault" whilst happily sitting in the back of her car expecting to be driven home. That's not how mates treat each other

Why is it that on MN people can't understand others having a different opinion without projecting.

For the record Bluntness I am always the driver. I don't drink and am happy to do so. I also always park correctly because it's MY responsibility. If I get a ticket it's my issue. No-one else's.

NoseyJosey · 22/08/2017 14:02

I would offer towards petrol and parking fees, but not fines. As the driver it is her responsibility to not park like a moron park responsibly. If she got caught for speeding would you all offer to share the points? No, because that would be stupid and impossible.
I'm quite frankly amazed at the number of people who think this isn't the case. Amazed.

shakingmyhead1 · 22/08/2017 14:06

i seem to recall a post a while back, where a MM'er had picked up a friend and driven them somewhere and friend had suggested a parking spot...
( dun dun dun)
and when they returned to the car low and behold there was a ticket!!!

the MM'er asked on here if her friend should pay the ticket or help pay the ticket...
( queue the raucous laughter)
the majority informed the MM'er ...

that she was the driver & she chose to park there ( even though the friend said to park in the spot) so its her ticket

might have been a few who grudgingly said it might have been nice for the friend to have offered to chip in and help pay though, but overall that its a drivers responsibility!

so i guess it all depends on what day you ask your question as to the answer you will get on here ( or how "popular" you are)

whiteroseredrose · 22/08/2017 14:08

MN is truly bonkers. Never acceptable to kick anyone out at 4am (save potential rapists). I wouldn't do that to an acquaintance let alone friend.

However I would have offered to split the bill. Even if it meant no more nights out that year. Shared journey and shared costs.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 14:10

That's very interesting shakingmyhead. Can imagine it aswell. Funny how peoples opinions change when it's suits.

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 14:11

Look if anyone on here wants to help pay thwir friends fines.Grand that's down to them.
Sameway it's down to the op to say no to that request. If she chop.

It's not ok to chuck someone out of the car at 4 am.There is no way round that.

If all the posters on here saying she deserved to be chucked out.Would you be saying the same.No.You would.

Plus op the driver owes you a partial refund, tellher to keep it and put it off her fine.😁😁

dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 14:16

That should read DC being chucked out of a car.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 14:20

My dc are old enough to go to clubs (some of them)

The rules are

Make sure you have money for a cab home in case you get separated / run into bother

If you're stuck ring me I'll always answer and I'll come and get you but you have to listen to me on the way home.

Surely that's just sensible?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 14:22

I did have money for the cab hence why I got one. I do not have money to pay other peoples fines.

OP posts:
Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 14:23

And you didn't.

So what's the problem?

yolofish · 22/08/2017 14:27

sorry OP you sound like a complete PITA. I would bet my mum's last tooth that you were being arsy. that doesnt mean I support the friend's decision to chuck you on the street at 4am - I wouldnt have done that; I would have driven you home and resolved never to see you again let alone do you a favour.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 22/08/2017 14:27

The fact I was kicked out of the car at 4am!

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 22/08/2017 14:29

Plus op the driver owes you a partial refund, tellher to keep it and put it off her fine

Fair point.

LadyMaryCrawley1922 · 22/08/2017 14:34

She made a big sacrifice driving you all to your night out, and not drinking etc, is the least you could all do

What is with this utter horseshit? She didn't make any sacrifice at all, she decided she would rather drive.She was doing that whether OP went or not.
You don;t get other people to pay for your parking fines (as well as your petrol) because you'd rather drive!

You folks are on another planet! No wonder there are so many of those waah I have no friends posts, this is why: you treat people like shit and expect them to pay for your fines and kick them out at 4am!

dustarr73 · 22/08/2017 14:44

I'd love to know how she made a big sacrifice
As
A she was going anyway

B
Passes by the ops door.

Tiddler7 · 22/08/2017 14:48

For those still on a distance and price: uber from Harringay to Tower Bridge (quite a distance) on Saturday night cost me £12. Couple of months ago. So £10 would not get OP "just round the corner".

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 16:31

granny I haven't said anything about the situation . I have commented that what you suggested is spiteful and it is Not nearly as spiteful as kicking someone out of a car at 4 am and a useful lesson. I know someone where a very similar thing happened, not the same but left a young woman alone late at night and walking home. She got raped and the person who refused to give her the lift had a nervous breakdown. Better a few minutes of panic and learn your lesson than having to live with the consequences.

pictish · 22/08/2017 16:40

"She made a big sacrifice driving you all to your night out, and not drinking etc, is the least you could all do."

She didn't donate a kidney you know.

Ceto · 22/08/2017 16:44

If a taxi driver got a ticket, would she also be expected to contribute? No! The OP gave petrol money.

But then a taxi driver charges a hell of a lot more than petrol money, so it's hardly comparable.

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