To think this new wave of Gender Reveal a bit crap?

[PoppyH56]

It just seems so impersonal. I think it should be a special moment between just you and your partner if you do find out. The whole popping a balloon in front of your family to screams of delight really makes me cringe. AIBU and a total spoil sport here? 😱

The way I know that my baby days are truly over is the bafflement that young people and their ways causes me. I don't judge anything, I'm just puzzled. My usual response is just "Eh, but WHY?"

I didn't find out the sex of any of mine but I wish I had- my husband was very against it and I was in too much pain to argue (SPD was agony for all 5 pregnancies). I wouldn't have had a party about it though, I would have struggled to make a cake for just us.

I have had to return to a house full of baby stuff after a stillbirth. It was hellish. For that reason alone I only bought stuff as I needed it for my later babies. I never expected anyone else to provide anything. I made the basic baby clothes myself, and always included something nice for the baby to be buried in (stillborn child had nothing special to wear and it broke my heart). Other than that, it was the bare minimum.

pregnantchicken.com/defense-gender-reveal/

This is a different perspective; basically someone did it to get their older child excited about the birth (there was a now deleted thread where they were doing the same thing).

Admittedly it wasn't a big party where everyone was expected to bring presents and such - which seem a bit unnecessary (esp if you've also had a baby shower).

Zippy that must have been awful

Why is it exciting to learn that someone else's baby is either a girl or a boy? It's going to be either one or the other, isn't it? There's an implication that there's somehow a third option that would be less exciting.

I tend to think of those who, as a good friend, feel obliged to turn up but are quietly having fertility issues. They’ve already had to nail a smile on their face for baby showers and now another type of hazard pops up to be negotiated.

What'll be the next tacky import from the US? I think most of these dopey fuckers believe they're on a reality TV show.

I totally agree with you OP, I think in this self centred world we live in people like to make a fuss and be centre of attention for even the most minor things.

I don't get gender reveal parties.
I equally don't get it when some people get smug and go on endlessly about how finding out the sex ruins the surprise.

Whether you find out and keep it to yourself, find out and tell friends, decide to throw a silly party or wait until birth, it's either a boy or a girl. It's not like the reveal is "surprise! It's a dinaosaur!'

I really don't get why people are assuming nobody cares. My family, friends and I went out for a meal and we revealed the sex. They were all genuinely very interested, as am I when my friends reveal details about their own pregnancies, including the sex! Just because your family and friends don't care, it isn't the case for everyone!

Why is it exciting to learn that someone else's baby is either a girl or a boy? It's going to be either one or the other, isn't it? There's an implication that there's somehow a third option that would be less exciting.

Well, the baby could be intersex. The gender reveal party adds a new layer of horror to this; now there's an added motivation to have healthy body parts cut off and assign feminine gender, if that's what was "revealed".

Oh, or the scan image could have been interpreted the wrong way by a doctor - in which case you'd have to tell everyone the actual sex of your baby all over again. (Or trans the poor kid ... I fear that will actually become possible in the future, even for babies)

Gender reveal parties are somewhere in the tradition of parties thrown after birth, where in some cultures the party for a boy is blatantly twice as long/large/expensive as that for a girl.

Not only do I not get them, I consider them actively harmful.

It's not like the reveal is "surprise! It's a dinaosaur!'

I wouldn't be surprised if "dinosaur" were one of those new sparklegenders people "identify as".

Of course, the sex is either girl or boy, but it is called a gender reveal party ...

I know at least two women who were told their babies were one sex at the anomaly scan and they turned out to be the other one at birth.

They're idiotic.

Sorry - the parties are idiotic - not the two women or their babies!

Sienna I am mildly interested in what sex someone's scan pictures showed the baby to be. But I would definitely not go to a party where this is "revealed" accompanied by a ton of gender stereotypes. (And with tons of photos made that will be rather embarrassing if the assumptions turned out to be wrong)

One can just tell people. No need for this kind of nonsense.

I shall never forget the live video on Facebook of my friend finding out - and her obvious disappointment that it was the same sex as her previous.

Bubble

Ugh do people actually do that and post it

I love all the posts from people saying that they had one and everyone was genuinely thrilled about it. What did you expect, people to tell you that they think your party is stupid?! I have never been to a gender reveal (thank god) but I have been to some parties that I had to grit my teeth through, but I'm sure the host thought I was having a great time!

Pregnant woman to friends:

"I've just done the 20 week scan. All is well. By the way, it's a boy/girl/couldn't tell"

Answer:
"Great for both (health and boy/girl)"

Job done.

I love all the posts from people saying that they had one and everyone was genuinely thrilled about it. What did you expect, people to tell you that they think your party is stupid?!

This.

bubble yes, I know someone who had a party and all the Facebook comments had a bit of an undertone of 'ah well, never mind' about the fact that it was (like her first child) a boy, which was quite upsetting

Ugh load of nonsense. No one cares except you anyway! One of my friends found out what they were having and refused to tell anyone up until the birth. She got annoyed every time anyone asked if she knew if they were having a boy or a girl saying it was special that just they knew and it was to be a surprise for everyone else. I wanted to tell her that no one gives a monkeys anyway - they're only asking to make conversation I expect!

Oh I promise you that if I came to one of these events you would have no idea I didn't care. But I wouldn't. This doesn't mean I'm not interested in your pregnancy and your wellbeing, it's just that aside from my own, I find babies more interesting than foetuses.

I would also probably have to find an excuse to leave before the balloons came out because I really do find the pink and blue broohaha quite insidious.

I agree that the pink and blue 'broohaha' (great word!) is insidious but it happens whether after the 20 week scan or after birth. Walk into any house with a new arrival and you'll be able to tell the sex of the baby before meeting them because of the balloons, cards and clothes that have been given. It's bloody awful.

Was a gender reveal cake (few years ago now) and they recorded their faces as they cut into it. I really hope tbh that they delete it off fb before their child is old enough to see it! And yes to the comments commiserating from others!

I found out for dd2. We hadn't intended to, but at the 20 week scan they found she was missing her hand.
I felt like I was grieving for the baby I thought I had, and I needed to get to know the baby I now had. Finding out she was a girl was one way of me feeling I knew her again.

But we didn't even tell people we knew. Except dh told mil that we knew. For some reason she thought something he said implied she was a boy. Being an organised person this meant we got a "congratulations on your ds" card and some blue knitted (by her-very nice) clothes.

altheathoon everything you said. The bollocks 'princess pink' stereotyping starts before they're even born.