To think this new wave of Gender Reveal a bit crap?

[PoppyH56]

It just seems so impersonal. I think it should be a special moment between just you and your partner if you do find out. The whole popping a balloon in front of your family to screams of delight really makes me cringe. AIBU and a total spoil sport here? 😱

Crass

Thrown by an individual of great self importance I'd imagine.

Radio, great response

Totally agree Foslady I love surprises!

They're not for me but I don't understand why people post that no one cares. I definitely take an interest in people's babies including the sex and the name they choose.

I love finding out the gender/sex/whatever!! But I'm a nosy cow and don't get out much. Good excuse for a cake.

YANBU. It's grim.

I also cannot imagine deciding to organise my own baby shower and I also can't imagine letting a friend organise one for me. Even if it's a surprise baby shower I would be mortified that my friends had been invited to an event where you're basically cornered into buying gifts before the baby has even arrived

Babies were dressed in white until colored garments for babies were introduced in the middle of the 19th century. The following quote comes from a trade publication called Earnshaw's Infants' Department, published in 1918:7

"The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."
Move forward 100 years and you would be hard-pressed to find a single male baby dressed in pink in the industrialized world.

Above is quote from www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232363.php

Naff naff naff 😝

Awful. A friend of a friend had one recently. There were props and everyone had to take blue or pink props to guess before the big reveal. Its all for Instagram. So much posing. I'm all for celebration my new life etc but the assumption that everyone else gives as much of a shit as you do is tacky, and the superstitious part of me says you're celebrating the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I think it's a massive step too far. And this is from somebody who is not offended by a low-key baby shower for a first baby.
I just don't understand why finding out the sex of a baby, which is entirely beyond your control and doesn't matter anyway, is cause for a party.

Is it definitely a thing now for people to have to say why they don't like parties of any occasion. If you think something is naff/grabby/tacky/showing off, just don't go. I don't understand why people feel the need to make such a song and dance about others holding parties, do they think they are better people because of it? If you just keep declining invites, people will get the hint soon and you will never be invited to anything again. Success!

YANBU

It strikes me as attention grabby and slightly tacky...presumably this event is then followed up by the obligatory baby shower a few months later.

Luckily I've only had to go to a few baby showers, they're really not my thing but I enjoyed them when I was there.

But I always found them rather premature, maybe just wait til the baby is safely here before you grab all the gifts etc

When I was pregnant I turned down a baby shower that my (lovely) sister in law was trying to organise for me

Recent personal experience has now made me want to just announce everything once the baby is born.

This goes for a these gender (surely sex?!) reveal parties!

Gender (sex!) Reveal parties are just silly to me. I put it in the same category of uploading videos of themselves cutting into a pink/blue cake on facebook.

I also think of them as non-events on the whole and lump them in witj engagement parties, big baby showers, push presents, cake smashes. If people want to do them, then it's up to them.

I don't mind baby showers if it's a few friends go for brunch. I do mind when there's an expectation of lots of gifts before baby is born and then still the British tradition of buying something when baby arrives.

@Foslady, I agree with that sentiment. I always used to hunt my Christmas presents down as a child and, after I'd found them and had a brief 'Wooooo!' moment, I was then disappointed that I'd ruined my Christmas! I had a feeling that I'd feel the same if I found out our babies' sex before they were born. Maybe not entirely comparable / rational, but that's how I felt so we found out at their birth both times.

I don't care if others find out, but it's not for me, and neither are sex reveal events! Thankfully I've never known anybody do one of these (and mercifully few baby showers too!).

Only a couple of decades ago, it was considered unlucky to buy a lot or even bring major purchases home before the baby had arrived safely.
My mum offered to keep our new pushchair at her house before DD1 was born. How times have changed in just a few years.

Radio, no I don't think I'm any better than my friend. I just wanted to get other opinions on it. This is an AIBU at the end of the day, therefore this is me wanting to determine if I am BU. Most of the responses would lean towards that I am not. FYI - I have no problem in celebrating someone else's happiness and had it been something different (wedding/baby shower/birthday party) I would be there. I am just not sure on the whole gender reveal thing.

I am having a big wedding (lots of family), had a baby shower (surprise for me by my mum and sister) and a big christening (again, large family and DP's family are catholic).

Are you also having a gender/sex reveal?

Do you and your dh have big birthday parties for yourseleves every year?

Will you be having them for the child?

Will these events mean people (not just family) feel obliged to travel. Spend whole weekends on your families events and cost them alot of money.

Because i clearly said it was the time and money people expect you spend on these events.

My family is irish catholic. Not really sure what that has to do with anything.

NorthLondonNora, I think maybe I'm in the same boat as you with this. I'm pregnant now and my mum has my pram at her house until the baby is here as I am superstitious about this also (thanks mum! ) Maybe I'm just thinking more along the lines of that rather than a celebrating finding out a baby's sex at a gender reveal party we should be celebrating the fact you have a healthy pregnancy thus far and are growing a little baby! I also told my mum I didn't want a baby shower as I want to celebrate when my baby is actually here and in my arms.

I find it cringey too. For me, finding out the sex was an exciting moment that I wanted to share with DH privately at our scan. Then afterwards we just told people who asked or wanted to know.

The thing is as well, outside of close family and friends, very few people really care if you're having a boy or a girl.

We saw one in the beach on holiday in Florida. Whole photo shoot going on involving pink and blue balloons. The blue balloons flew away leaving pink so assume they were having a girl.

Dh had never heard of the whole gender reveal thing before. His reaction were very much of the rolling eyes type. 15y Dd was more for bringing it looked cute.

People forget that really appears from theirselves and maybe their most immediate family - most of their other family and friends are only mildly interested at best and really don't mind whether they have a girl or boy.

I'm definitely not convinced - almost wants us to go back to the days of not b by told unless there's a medical need for it tbh. When I had Dd our health authority had a policy of not telling you, so the gender reveal occurred at the birth.

I really don't see the point because really nobody cares apart from the parents, ok your immediate family may care but still not enough to warrant the enthusiasm of a big 'reveal party' all that effort/money/people's time when you could just send a text saying 'It's a boy/girl' to anyone who you think cares.

PoppyH6, yes I'm sorry, that was rather a more general observation rather than a a direct view of your own position. I should have made that clear.

I don't think it's superstitious to celebrate before baby's safely here, I just think it makes it adds another layer of sadness if something goes wrong, to have baby gifts from celebrations during pregnancy, if there's a problem at birth

The people I know who very sadly had stillborn children said it was made even more horrific to return home from hospital without their baby to a house full of baby stuff (one went in pregnant with twins but only returned with one baby - the house was full of twin bits and bobs that made the absence of her little boy even more painful)

I am deeply uncomfortable with these kind of parties not because I think it tempts fate, but because until the baby is safely delivered, I don't feel comfortable with celebrating. That's just me however, I don't begrudge others - I just so desperately hope that nothing happens for them to suffer the agony of my friends whose babies never came home.

When it comes to non immediate family and friends I do prefer finding out when baby is actually born tbh - I like to get the baby arrival text with date, time, sex, weight, name etc.