To think this new wave of Gender Reveal a bit crap?

[PoppyH56]

It just seems so impersonal. I think it should be a special moment between just you and your partner if you do find out. The whole popping a balloon in front of your family to screams of delight really makes me cringe. AIBU and a total spoil sport here? 😱

People seem to be very horrified by the idea of finding the sex out, but maybe can't fathom that people's experiences are different to their own.

Exactly this.

This is my favourite 'gender' reveal

When I was little, and with my babies, we just had white clothes for when they were first born, then they were used for all the family with new bits added, because they didn't get much wear and were expensive. They were only for very little babies, so very special.

My husbands grandmother gave us the towels she used for DFIL. She said they were as white as the driven snow, which indeed they were which was surprising given the other things in the house. I have no idea why she did not give them to MIL when DH was born - maybe she was hoping for another ?

It's popular with the baby cake smash crowd

(Did I say that out loud?)

"Meh. I enjoyed finding out (see my pp). If you think that's odd, I don't especially mind"

Perhaps odd wasn't the right word-unnecessary?

Well it wouldn't be for me.

I'm a private (secretive??) person though & if I'd known probably would have kept it to myself.

Glad you enjoyed yours.

Agree with everything flo said too. The pink / blue thing isn't good. But it isn't an essential party of the party idea. And the party isn't an essential part of discovering the sex of the baby at a scan. I had a private scan to see the baby again and hoped to fivd out the sex. They have more tone than the NHS and frankly, I don't think it's the job of the NHS to do somersaults to find out the sex, unless there's a medical reason for that. So I was happy to pay someone to do it instead.

I'd have been happy with either sex, but due to my experience with dc1 (see my first post on here if you care to - page 2 I think), I was keen to find out and I'm very glad I did. I've been walking on air ever since so put that in your pipe and smoke it Pearl clutches .

The thing is, almost nobody will give a shit apart from close family. It's like your wedding anniversary. Nobody else is really that interested!

They are awful. Making such a big deal out of sex as if the baby is going to emerge like a mini Phil Vickery or Taylor Swift instead of the generic (genitals aside) baby we all get.
Then there's the self-absorption of assuming people will want to make the effort to assemble to witness this nonsense.
I'm always happy to hear a friend is happily expecting, very happy and relieved to hear of the safe delivery of a baby, but expecting me to whoop and jump up and down when I find out the sex is too much. I don't care.
I also really hate the way we have slipped back into the awful "pink for a girl" thing. I was born in 1970 and when I look back at photos of my little friends and I we wore, admittedly hideous, flares and polo necks, dungarees, dresses, skirts and tops in different colours but very little pink. There were a lot of earth colours and orange, red, green and navy and prints. Basically the fashionable palette of the time. Girls usually had short hair. There is no doubt that society was far more sexist back then, but the area we seem to have gone backwards is girls' clothing and styling.

diddl

My cousin did that; found out sex but kept it between her and DH. We've only told people who ask in person and immediate family. I am too introverted for any announcements- no fb or anything, not that I'm on there anyway. I don't begrudge people who do though.

Oh lord excuse typos up page . I'm on my phone.

Finding out the sex is a personal choice. Everyone said how special the moment is when they tell you after the birth. It wasn't. I hadn't seen the baby. They were trying to make him breathe. He came out in such a bad condition she actually forgot to tell me initially. Like Decaff said, I might just find pit in advance if there's ever another.

However having a party to reveal it makes it seem like the result matters one way or the other. Perhaps I'll have where are baby's intestines reveal party instead...

I had a mini 'reveal' which I really loved.

I had volunteered at my hospital to let student doctors scan me, and in return I would have a 4D ultrasound. DS1 was going to be looked after by a friend, and DH would be going with me. We had discussed finding out the sex, and agreed that we would, if asked.

On the day, DS1 was ill, so DH stayed at home with him. I had the scans, which were lovely, the doc asked if I wanted to know, and I asked if he could write it down for me so I could find out with DH. He printed lots of pics, picked one, wrote on the back and put it in an envelope.

We were due to be driving to stay with my MIL that day (she is great, this is not a MIL post!), and the next day was Mother's Day. On the way back from the hospital, I had the idea to give myself a MD surprise, as well as DH.

I stopped at the local party shop, gave them the envelope, and they read it and packed a balloon in a box. I didn't tell DH. I told him I hadn't found out the sex, as I had wanted to share it with him.

The next day, Mothering Sunday, I got the box out and explained, while 3yo DS opened the box. Out popped the "It's a boy" balloon, and I felt really happy to find out with DH (and MIL, who just happened to be in the room). DS was happy he had a balloon to play with! It's a nice memory 😀

There is no doubt that society was far more sexist back then, but the area we seem to have gone backwards is girls' clothing and styling.

I've just quoted part, but completely agree. We were talking about this the other day, the return (for some) to pink for a girl, blue for a boy clothing. Few girls with very short, or even fairly short, hair as you used to find when I was a girl.

Just awful.
I saw one cake on a FB page ( not a friend's, a community site).
The cake was green inside .
Clearly the baker had fucked up.

I never have and never will, attend a hen party, gender reveal, baby shower or wedding vow renewal. Made it to 57 escaping them.

I never wanted a big reveal, my DP and I found out in the car alone. We pulled out the blue boots from a bag provided to us by the lovely ladies at the scanning place and it was the most special moment we have ever experienced and I will never forget it, first time I have seen him cry in 7 years!! We had desperately wanted a boy haha.

I can understand people wanting to share that excitement with their family. To each their own and all that :)

People seem to be very horrified by the idea of finding the sex out, but maybe can't fathom that people's experiences are different to their own

I think I'm getting crossed wires on this thread.

We were perfectly happy to find out the sex of our unborn baby during one of the scans- we then told parents/family and close friends the usual way e.g. telephone or messages.

There was no issue at all with knowing the sex- just that we didn't feel it was necessary to throw a "gender reveal party" for all and sundry.

Just my point of view

Agree turquoise, that was what the thread was initially about, but it quickly became "I don't see why anyone wants to find out the sex all" and then "all people should wait till the birth unless there's a medical reason". That's why I and some others have responded, explaining our various points of view on finding out the sex.

I found out the sex of my baby. I had had a difficult pregnancy for various reasons and I really wanted to know. Wanted something positive to focus on. What I didn't do is get a cake made and make people come to an awkward party. Gender reveal parties (they don't even get the terminology correct, it should be sex) are super naff. Up there with cake smashes. It's all done for social media.

"it's also ridiculous to start gender seterotyping a child when it's still in utero."

No, much better to start as soon as the baby pops out. It happens eventually. Gender reveal parties just bring it forward a bit I suppose.

They're not for me, personally, but I'm surprised with the amount of people saying no one gives a shit besides family. Really? I've always been interested in every aspect of my friends' pregnancies, and i love hearing stories about the babies / children once they're here. I'm presuming people only invite family and close friends and it would be very sad if any of those people really 'don't give a shit'.

Sure, if I were invited to one I'd probably think 'cant you just tell us without a party?' but I'd go and take part because I like to celebrate events that are significant to the people that I love.

But i agree with those saying the gender aspect annoys them. If i did go to the party I'd probably spend the entire time blurting out 'sex!' like some kind of crazed woman! 😂

I know my friends well enough to know they aren't just asking about sex to make polite conversation. Whilst I wouldn't expect them to give up their time for a reveal party, they can still be interested to find out, just as I am always interested in finding out about anything that is happening in the lives of my friend and family.

^what decaff said. turquoise perhaps you missed the end of my post. But yes, it appears others are confusing the fairly innocuous idea of finding out the sex at a 20 week scan compared to a big frilly 'gender reveal' shindig. The latter of which is really silly and enforces gender stereotyping from the get-go.

Tbh though... Unless your whole wider network are feminists be prepared for some of this instant pink or blue gendering as soon as they know anyway. I got sent emojis of a princess after our recent 'gender reveal', to which I replied with female engineer and scientist emojis. Ohhhhh my family think I'm a barrel of laughs!

Waiting for the eye colour reveal parties.

I give a shit about whether an unborn baby appears to be developing normally.
I give a shit about whether the mother is well and happy (the father too but she's doing all the work at this point).
But no I don't give a shit about whether the baby is a boy or girl and I don't really understand why I should. Both are great.

'It's popular with the baby cake smash crowd

(Did I say that out loud?)'

Outside your own parents and maybe but not always siblings who actually cares what you are having? It's not like you can change the sex if you are disappointed. The baby doesn't care either.

Does a reveal party mean you there for have to buy pink or blue presents? How boring.

And re the pink and blue nonsense broaden your mind folks. I know boys who love pink and girls who wouldn't be seen dead in it. It's actually fairly recently that it was the opposite way round anyway.
Condoning the whole pink and blue business is not doing a thing for breaking down the whole 'girls should be pink princeesses' and boys should be 'blue datedevils' attitudes.

Basically it's just another clever marketing ploy to get people to part with hard earned cash for balloons, cake, banners, party crap etc.