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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this new wave of Gender Reveal a bit crap?

321 replies

PoppyH56 · 21/08/2017 06:25

It just seems so impersonal. I think it should be a special moment between just you and your partner if you do find out. The whole popping a balloon in front of your family to screams of delight really makes me cringe. AIBU and a total spoil sport here? 😱

OP posts:
IrritatedUser1960 · 21/08/2017 11:08

Wow I've never even heard of it!

abigailgabble · 21/08/2017 11:09

criiiiiiiinge

another thing we have social media to thank for Hmm

Floisme · 21/08/2017 11:11

You know we could, if we really, really wanted to, nip the pink and blue stuff in the bud. It is not beyond our control. If we stopped buying it, they would stop making it.

AltheaThoon · 21/08/2017 11:12

I think finding out the sex or not finding out the sex is a very personal thing and nobody should have to justify their decision either way.

How that information is shared with others, well...that's another matter altogether!

Decaffstilltastesweird · 21/08/2017 11:15

True flo. I have bought a few things recently for friends' newborns and there are some really nice non pink / blue outfits around. I also see more dinosaur prints on girl things lately. So it's not all bad news!

Decaffstilltastesweird · 21/08/2017 11:16

I think finding out the sex or not finding out the sex is a very personal thing and nobody should have to justify their decision either way

Thanks for this^^ Althea. I agree.

MardAsSnails · 21/08/2017 11:17

I don't get it. At all. Nobody gives a fuck apart from the baby's parents.

An old school friend did a FB Live reveal where her and her husband opened a box with a blue helium in it. Loads of people squealing 'I'm soooooo excited!!xxxxxx' beforehand and 'I'm thrilled for you hun after the blue balloon popped out'. If you're that thrilled about the dangly bits (or lack of) of someone else's offspring, you're leading a very dull life.

MaisyPops · 21/08/2017 11:20

I think finding out the sex or not finding out the sex is a very personal thing and nobody should have to justify their decision either way.

How that information is shared with others, well...that's another matter altogether!
Yes!
I don't care either way if a couple finds out or not.
Big fusses, parties or long high horse chats about their choice are just mildly odd.

teainbed · 21/08/2017 11:31

It's sounds pretty harmless if a bit tacky.

Is gender/sex the new vagina/vulva of Mumsnet? Grin

eyebrowsonfleek · 21/08/2017 11:37

To the person who said her family and friends care about the sex - they care whether you're having a boy or girl the same amount. Say you were going to have a boy but a girl is born because of a mistake with the scan.They'd still be equally happy as if scan said boy and it was a correct prediction. That's what people mean when they say that other people don't care as much. They are happy for you that a baby will be born but it doesn't matter at all to them if the baby is boy or girl. They are both happy news.

If Americans are too squeamish for the word sex maybe they need to be called Genital Reveals 😂

As for finding out the sex before baby is born, I see no difference between finding out at the scan or birth. The parents are getting their surprise at different times (20 weeks s 40 weeks)

Lweji · 21/08/2017 11:38

they need to be called Genital Reveals

And the corresponding cake?

AltheaThoon · 21/08/2017 11:55

Yes, that makes sense eyebrows. It just sounds a bit harsh when people say they don't give a shit!

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 21/08/2017 11:56

Goodness, a Genital Reveal Party sounds like something you would have to ensure you had a fresh pair of undies for, not to mention a strategic trim.

AltheaThoon · 21/08/2017 12:01

And don't get me wrong, I have no desire to attend one of these parties! Most of my friends and family are past the pregnancy age now anyway. 😁

Janika · 21/08/2017 12:06

Oh lord I thought gender reveal meant coming out as a different gender (identity) sorry to offend!

Lweji · 21/08/2017 12:10

Yes, a gender reveal party, as things stand, should be at about 18 years of age, when people officially decided on what gender they wanted to be.
Much more interesting, as there's a multitude of options for adults. For babies not so much.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2017 12:13

Flo and people who might want to dress their kids in blue or pink? Surely the bbst option isn't to irradiate pink and blue children clothing its to just push for more options and i defy anyone to say there arent alternatives although there is a lack of pink for boys

We didn't find out the sex/gender/genitals. I bought yellow and green and red and dinosaurs and robots.

Me and DS1 have boys. I buy blue and green and yellow and brown and red. DDS1 has a girl. I buy blue and green and pink and mustard and yellow and red.

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 21/08/2017 12:16

My letter from the hospital said that under no circumstances should the sonographer be asked to write down the sex of the baby as they were getting so many requests to do this so the parents could take the envelope to the bakery/party planners so it would be a surprise for them as well! My colleague did this (one different hospital!), gave the envelope to her neighbour who made a cake and then she cut it to reveal the blue inside at her party. The only person who knew was the neighbour.

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 21/08/2017 12:16

My letter from the hospital said that under no circumstances should the sonographer be asked to write down the sex of the baby as they were getting so many requests to do this so the parents could take the envelope to the bakery/party planners so it would be a surprise for them as well! My colleague did this (one different hospital!), gave the envelope to her neighbour who made a cake and then she cut it to reveal the blue inside at her party. The only person who knew was the neighbour.

Floisme · 21/08/2017 12:23

Flo and people who might want to dress their kids in blue or pink?
I don't Shock That is the main point of my posts.

There was a time when gender stereotyping by clothing appeared to have died a death but now it's back. In fact it's bigger than ever. The fact that it's possible, as an individual, to avoid it in your own purchase, doesn't mean it's not happening, or render it harmless.

HappyLollipop · 21/08/2017 12:26

YANBU, I hate them it's not much of a 'surprise' you only have one of two options anyway (well usually, intersex babies are extremely rare!) and it doesn't even matter what gender you get! Baby showers are enough of a faff, we don't need anymore reasons to celebrate a baby other than it's a baby!

Ameliablue · 21/08/2017 12:27

Eyebrowsonfleek that's exactly my point, it is happy news either way. It isn't about whether it's a bit of a girl, it's about being interested to know more about the baby.

DandelionAndBedrock · 21/08/2017 12:30

One thing that has confused me is that M&S now sell "secret centre cakes" for your party. That's fine, if you are having one, but WHO BUYS THE CAKE?

I thought the whole point was you gave a baker an envelope and then this (relative) stranger makes you your secret cake. Presumably to have an M&S cake whoever organised the party already knows? So it isn't really revealing anything at all.

noeffingidea · 21/08/2017 12:31

I don't think the pink/blue thing is going to die out for a long time even though it's not popular on mumsnet. Come to think of it, I had mainly blue and pink brought for my babies and that was in the 80's and 90's.
It hadn't extended to things like lego then though .

Huffletuff · 21/08/2017 12:33

Hate it! Especially the pink /blue crap.

When I was pregnant with DS, someone asked me if "baby is pink or blue".

I said well I bloody hope he isn't blue as most babies tend to be pink.

She was not impressed.

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