Would you move to America if you were me?

[BenDuck]

DP is from the US and we have talked for a while about going to live there (East coast) and the conversations are now getting more serious, he is starting to look for jobs etc. I'm still feeling really conflicted though. Part of me wants to, mostly because I fucking HATE brexit and like to be away from it all but also because we would be able to afford a really lovely house there. There is loads of stuff that bothers me though- having to drive everywhere, lower food standards, Trump.
I also worry about my position legally. I'm currently a SAHM but earn a little doing evening work (that I wouldn't be able to do there) so would be v reliant on DH. Esp. as would be hard to get a working visa. I worry about what would happen were we to divorce- would I be stuck there unable to bring DC back to UK (they have dual citizenship)?
Anyone been in a similar boat???

The education system is pretty poor.

That's crap, the education system is great, better than the UK but it does depend on the town.

Here you don't pay council tax, you instead pay property tax which goes to your local town council who use it to fund the police/schools/roads/ in your town. Therefore a flourishing town, means lots of public money, and the ability to pay for lots of high caliber teachers.

The next town over from us is feeling a bit poor so rather than cut the education budget they just voted to dispand the police force.

Every FT job offers healthcare.

^Unfortunately this is not true at all.

When it comes to your DC should you and DH separate, you definitely cannot count on moving back to the uk with DC. Unless your DH allows you to do that, the courts will decide based on the DC's best interests at the time.

The education system here in NJ is excellent. Far superior to what is available for the average student in a well to do middle class area. There are very few private schools because you just don't need them.

As for dinner costing $200 it all adds up and you have to increase prices by 27.5% for sales tax and tip. Two apps, mains and one dessert with drinks will cost that. Average cost of a main course dinner is $30 which is $38.25 after tax and tip. An average app is about $10-15 and dessert is now about $10. So just in food for two people, it's about $100. A bottle of drinkable wine is about $50 give or take. Add your tax and tip and you are at about $200.

Wine is very expensive here. Bottles which are £5 in the U.K. are $15+ here at the shop.

Que Actually it is true. It's law. FT is more than 30 hours and if more than that your employer is required to offer healthcare coverage. It's Obamacare.

It's also why loads of employees found their employers hiring for up to 30 hours to avoid it. Now you see people working two 30hrs/week jobs.

if you're worried about divorce as in you think it might happen, then I wouldn't do it.

American friend was convinced to move to UK by British husband. Just after they got here, he said he wanted a divorce. Now she's stuck in the UK, when she really just wants to go home, because of the kids.

If your child has SEN you want to be here in the US. The standard of care is extremely high. Our school district have been wonderful with DS who is 4 and has ASD. We looked at moving back to the UK and decided not to because the LEA were just awful.

I'm also the parent of a (now-adult) child with special educational needs. We had an excellent experience with the support that he had in school. Some of the horror stories that I see on MN about issues with schools in the UK for SEN children just don't happen very often in the US.

Que Actually it is true. It's law. FT is more than 30 hours and if more than that your employer is required to offer healthcare coverage. It's Obamacare.

Want2b - re companies 'having' to offer healthcare to FT employees - my understanding is that it applies only to companies who employ 50 or more employees; they are under no obligation to cover FT employee's spouses; and must only meet 'minimum value' standards ie at least 60% of total medical costs. And my understanding is that the employee still has to pay for this insurance - though if it costs more than c10% of their income and they choose to buy an alternative policy, then the company pays a penalty. Apologies if any of this is incorrect - it seems like a complicated subject!!

I'd move back to America tomorrow given the chance. Better opportunities, and east coast is a nice place to live. Not many Trump supporters there. Go for it!

Yes, I think the employer mandate only applies to larger employers. And the mandate is a tax, so a larger employer can legally refuse to offer health insurance, but they would be subject to the tax. As a practical matter, most employers do offer it even if they don't have to because it is hard to find good employees if they don't offer it.

Que That was before Obamacare came in. With Obamacare every employer with any full time employees must offer insurance.

Another thing is that much of what is talked about on here doesn't really exist in the part of the US where I am. The east coast between Boston and DC is great. Between DC and Atlanta is still passable. Further south and nope wouldn't live there. Further north of Boston and the snow would put me off.

I know this because we run a business and always offered insurance before. Other local employers didn't and had to start offering it or reduce hours. They chose to cap hours at 29.5 a week.

www.cigna.com/assets/docs/about-cigna/informed-on-reform/employer-mandate-fact-sheet.pdf

In other news, it is starting to get eerily gray and dark here, so heading outside to not look directly at the sun.

We've just done that. Not as noteable as a full eclipse, but still fairly impressive. I got a picture of the mini crescent shadows that I'd read about. Now it's just cloudy, although birds haven't started tweeting again yet.

We looked through my dad's welding mask. Just at totality here -- very cool!

Also yes, re: the ALL full-time employees have to be offered insurance. My parents run a small business with one full-time employee and they are required to offer him insurance.

Want2bSupermum

"The education system here in NJ is excellent. Far superior to what is available for the average student in a well to do middle class area. There are very few private schools because you just don't need them."

I am sorry but what are you actually talking about? That was a very sweeping generalisation. I grew up in New Jersey where I attended private school. My school was one of many private schools and that doesn't even include the fee paying Catholic schools. As another poster noted, this is another popular route.

The quality of the school depends entirely on the local district you're in and the property taxes (primarily) they can gather. My friends who live in Westchester County and parts of CT all send their kids to local schools - their real estate taxes on a modest house are $30K per year.

OP - the US is an extremely varied place. My parents currently live in the Midwest and I think it's fabulous for families. Not everyone is an ignorant oik in the south and the midwest, as has been implied on here. There is a large continent of racists in the Northeast as well. It's a bit like people saying stupid things about the North, in the UK. Some of the most conservative - and the most liberal - people I know live in California.

If you can be more specific about the options open to you it may be easier to comment.

I wouldn't trade Brexit for Trump

Nor me.

I wouldn't because of health care.

Want2b I'm almost certain that my points below are Obamacare, not pre-Obamacare. Apologies if im wrong.

The clock is ticking on Trump. Brexit casts a far longer shadow.

Seneca They gave companies some time to comply hence the less than 50 employees and you don't need to offer insurance. That is over now which is one of the reasons Obamacare is about to implode. I think we will have significant changes before the end of the year.

The business pays off the shelf and its so much cheaper than buying insurance. We have one employee who had $250k worth of surgery and we were still ahead compared to having insurance.

As for an earlier post saying $3k for MRI, that doesn't sound right. Def need to contest the billing codes.

$3k for the MRI doesn't sound right. If the MRI was $30k, then the insurance company would have negotiated that (to a few thousand), and the policy holder pays their percentage (10% in that post, I believe) of the negotiated figure, not of the original charge.

vienna I grew up in Cheshire and in my local area there were many more private schools than here in NJ.

We looked at private schools and you have your catholic schools (which generally are not that great) and your typical wealthy private schools such as Pingry, Delbarton and Far Brook. Most parents looking to send their child to a catholic school do so because of their religion and not for academic reasons. We looked at private options and had our eldest signed up to attend Spence before we saw sense and enrolled her at the local elementary school. She is doing absolutely fine, finished up kindergarten reading and writing. Just finished up BFG which I think is good going for a 6 year old.

As you said people spend $30k on property taxes instead. It's the same in NJ which is why private school is just not seen as something that is needed. We pay $23k and consider it extreme good value compared to spending $100k a year at Spence for both of our DDs and $80k a year for DS to attend IDEAL.

It's the same as paying a huge amount to buy a house in a good catchment area, really.

We do use private schools over here, for a number of reasons -- the same ones we had in the UK, really.

So what happens when people's kids have grown up and left the school system? Do they then generally move out to an area with lower taxes?