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Original poster

To be upset at friend not offering a lift?

463 replies

jenniferl1983 · 20/08/2017 00:28

Just home from a cinema trip with a friend. I don't drive but she passed her test a couple of years ago. When we went on nights out prior to this we got the bus or shared taxis or if one of us was picked by a relative offered the other a lift too. Normally we meet up in the centre of town (5 min walk home for her/20 min bus ride home for me) but tonight we went to a cinema the opposite side of town.

There is a cinema much closer to me (20 min walk at most) but she has a prepaid cinema card which is for a different chain so we have to use cinemas that she has the card for.

She drove to the cinema tonight and I got 2 buses and had a 50 min journey there. I had worked out the buses previously and there was a chance I could get the last bus home from the cinema (22.58) if the film finished promptly however the last bus from the town centre was due to leave 2 mins before that bus got to town.

I didn't want to ask for a lift directly but told her I would have to leave straightaway and that it was the final bus etc but she just said the film should finish in time for me to catch that bus. I feel a but upset that she didn't offer and was happy to leave me to get 2 buses home at 11pm at night. I always ask her to text me when she is home when she has walked but didn't get the same from her. Still no text to make sure I got home safe now.

For clarity it's very rare she gives me a lift, maybe 4 times since she has passed and I have always offered a bit of petrol money or paid for parking. If she had dropped me off it would have added 15/20 minutes to her journey.

In the end I managed to catch the bus from the cinema to the town centre but missed the bus from town to home. My DP ended up waking our daughter up to get me as I didn't want to walk 30 mins alone in the dark or pay a high taxi fare.

I am considering our friendship but maybe I'm being over dramatic?

OP posts:
Underthemoonlight · 20/08/2017 09:50

I have just recently passed my test last month aged 30.When organising trips to the cinema or going into town I would web ask my friend who drove and would generally get the bus or get dropped off by dh and taxi back however she would always offer me a lift.

We have one mural friend who completely takes advantage of her driving her places. Now I passed I would give someone a lift if we were going out but I wouldn't expect to be treated like a taxi for going out learning to drive. It sounds like your friend is fed up of her friends wanting lifts because she went out and learnt to drive and her friends didn't . You can learn, I was nervous to begin with and now I'm driving everywhere then you won't be reliant on everyone else which from the posts that's how you get by on people giving lifts, it creates abit of independance especially when you have dc. It was massively unfair to wake your daughter instead of paying the taxi fare.

Underthemoonlight · 20/08/2017 09:51

I wouldn't"

llangennith · 20/08/2017 09:52

Your friend chose to buy a pass for a cinema that suits her. It means nearly an hour's travel time for you to get there and, busses permitting, another 50 mins to get home. So you spend nearly two hours travelling just to see a film at your friend's chosen cinema.

There's a cinema nearer to you and she can drive. Next time she wants to see a film you explain it'll have to be at your nearest cinema as you really can't spend so much time getting there and back. She sounds very self-centred.

NewYorkthisXmas · 20/08/2017 09:53

You should have planned how you were going to get home at night and not expect a friend to take you home. Do you live close to her? Petrol is very expensive. Im spending close to £30 a week and i drive less than 15 miles a week, probably less.

Coconutspongexo · 20/08/2017 09:55

She did plan how to get home, she missed the second bus.

Coconutspongexo · 20/08/2017 09:56

Also spending £30 a week on petrol to only drive 15 miles? What are you driving? Do you rag it Hmm

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 20/08/2017 09:57

Would you have agreed to the plan if she still hadn't passed her test?

Some of these replies do make me wonder what people think happens if 2 min drivers meet up in the evening. I often travel across London in my own at night because otherwise I wouldn't ever be able to see friends - should I demand an escort?

SomeOtherFuckers · 20/08/2017 09:58

It's rude and unfair .... but just ask

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 20/08/2017 09:58

newyork £30 petrol for 15 miles what are you driving ?

TooFew · 20/08/2017 09:59

If the journey is a pain then you really shouldn't have agreed to go to that cinema. If your friend really wanted you there she'd offer a lift or suggest going to the one nearer to you.

NewYorkthisXmas · 20/08/2017 10:00

Im driving a peugeot 307 from 2008 with 1.6L engine.

NewYorkthisXmas · 20/08/2017 10:00

Maybe i drive more miles than i think, but i still feel like petrol rinses quickly from my car.

Gorgosparta · 20/08/2017 10:03

I drive. I often pick up ans drop ofd friends that dont.

I do mind friends that assume i will, as though its an obligation.

I also mind people that constantly drop hints. Not just about driving. But in general. I feel like that are trying to force me into a position where I have to offer, rather them jusy coming out and asking.

I find people who cant bring themseleves to ask for favour, but keep dropping hints for a favour, quite odd.

Its obvious to everyone they want a favour.

SomeOtherFuckers · 20/08/2017 10:06

Also a driver here, 20 mins is annoying. I pay £1000 a year for insurance plus cost of my car plus petrol. Get a fucking taxi.
It costs £35 from the nearest city to my house and I would consider £8 a cheap fare. Just walk home ... or ask

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2017 10:06

It was mean of her, especially it was late at night. Why didn't you ask her and offer her petrol money, or get a taxi! I found a taxi was much cheaper than a bus.

SomeOtherFuckers · 20/08/2017 10:08

So you made your young daughter walk 88mins because you couldn't ask for a lift?

turbohamster · 20/08/2017 10:08

I drive a 1.6l engine car (petrol) and drive 400 miles a week on £40, 30 quid a week on 15 miles there's something seriously wrong!

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2017 10:08

I am a non driver (failed numerous tests), can't afford to learn right now, I always meet friends where I can get to easily. Meet somewhere you can get to easily, or it won't cost a lot for taxi.

Gorgosparta · 20/08/2017 10:09

So you made your young daughter walk 88mins because you couldn't ask for a lift

Eh?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2017 10:10

Some how long have you been driving, that's a lot. My dh has been driving for 20 years, and has a 2L 14 year old Mondeo, and he pays £250 a year insurance.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2017 10:11

What car do you drive some. I would rather pay a high taxi fare, than compromise my safety.

Coconutspongexo · 20/08/2017 10:11

What some people consider cheap isn't cheap to others

SomeOtherFuckers · 20/08/2017 10:11

Also @PyongyangKipperbang minimum wage is £7 isn't it ?

Blodplod · 20/08/2017 10:11

I'm really surprised by some of the responses on here.. personally if you were my friend I would of insisted on driving you home.. it's not as if it was 3.00am and she's continually ferrying you around etc.. i find it odd that she didn't insist without you having to ask, and I'm gobsmacked by some of the responses on here (genuinely). I guess I come from a different era! By the way I know all of my friends would do the same.

NewYorkthisXmas · 20/08/2017 10:12

I drive a 1.6l engine car (petrol) and drive 400 miles a week on £40, 30 quid a week on 15 miles there's something seriously wrong

Do you drive manual? My car is automatic