To tell her to piss off?

[SpareChangeDownTheSofa]

I enjoy knitting as a hobby and will occasionally knit gifts for people (if I am in the mood for that kind of project and have the money/time). For example, socks and scarfs. I recently starting knitting the occasional baby cardy, I gave one to one of my brothers for his baby etc.

Recently a pregnant cousin was talking to me and said ''I can't wait to see what you knit for mine). I told her I don't really have the time (I'm studying) etc but she told me she would pay for the wool so it'll be okay She keeps bringing it up when I see her.

AIBU thinking if I say I haven't got time you can't just expect someone to make something for you and to tell her to sod off? I've had a few friends/family now telling me they want me to knit them socks/scarves etc and they will pay for the wool as if that covers all of the work so I'm getting really annoyed.

People are weird about knitting, they call it a granny activity (which is doubly weird because what's wrong with being a granny?) and they expect you to be delighted to make things for them. I think it's tied into not valuing traditional feminine activities. A lot of people assume knitters knit expressly to serve others, that that is the point. While some do, certainly not all do. I see it as similar to some of the comments from men you see on here about "but you like cleaning the house."

I don't knit on assignment. I'd totally say no to your cousin, as you ended up doing. I knit for myself and for people who I think will appreciate knitted goods ("knitworthy" people in Ravelry-speak), and always on my own schedule. It's a hobby, for me. Nobody is asking all the Mumsnet husbands with their mysterious hobbies to do the hobby in the service of somebody else. Imagine, well you love to bike anyway so you can pick up this item for me and deliver it to so and so...

I hate that people even use the term "selfish knitting," as though the default is that you knit for others and you have to self-consciously declare that you selfishly knit for yourself.

SpareChange I once knitted a whole scarf using only purl stitches and was soo confused to why it looked like a knit stitch. Didn't realise that knit/purl makes the flat stitch!

That ripple blanket! I'm in love!

Pumper When I first started I dropped so many stitches it looked like bloody lace or crochet!

That ripple blanket is gorgeous.

Officer please please post some pics of your unfinished stuff! I love seeing what people are making!

In the interests of harmonious family relations, I would have made a little something for my cousin's baby. It would have been a kind thing to do - people like to think that their baby is important to family.

I'd be inventing a repetitive strain injury that prevented me from knitting for a while. If you make something for yourself pretend you made it years ago.

How long do you think the ripple blanket will take to complete, Pumper? I´m going to make a blanket for a 40th birthday present, must be completed by late April, and I´m wondering how time consuming it is.

Avoiding She asked me specifically for the cardy over and over. When I offered something small (baby booties) she kicked off at me. That's why she's not getting anything at all now.

Sonja mine is the hydrangea pattern, it's Dixie who did the ripple - but the hydrangea is easier! It's 1dc, 2tr ch1 2tr - and repeat. It takes me about fifteen minutes to do a row, and there's 176 rows in total, plus maybe another couple of hours to do the border? So if you really went for it you could easily have it done in a few weeks. I'd so recommend it though, the instructions on attic24 are so easy to follow, and it's such a soothing thing to sit and work through. I'm ridiculously proud of mine, and it's really been so little effort!

I get why you are not doing anything now she was rude to you but I think the repeated asking stems from wanting to feel important to you and wanting to feel that her baby matters to you. In families you sometimes just have to put yourself out a bit for the sake of keeping a goid relationship. I get that it's a pita but honestly I think you should have just made a little cardie and then you'd have been done with it. Now you are both feeling resentful.

Thanks, Pumper. I´ll check the website out. I´m a good knitter but only know crocheting basics, so it might also be a fun way to learn a new skill!

How long does it take you to knit a cardie, Avoiding?

Avoiding the repeated asking sounds to me like the cousin assumed she was entitled to the cardigan, nothing at all to do with showing a family member they appreciate their talent. Her further actions tend to support my theory more than yours.

Avoiding She knows I am in the middle of uni and working two jobs. I don't have any time to put myself out!

Would you have time to knit something like this for her?!

Gemdrop I would book time off work to make time for that! Do you have a pattern?

There's a book call Domiknitrix that has a pattern for a love hearts cushion, with charts for sweary text.

:o

I don't think that it's ever ok to let a family member take advantage 'for the sake of family relations'. In fact, pushing back is for their own good as the sooner people learn that acting entitled and rude is not ok behaviour, the better. No?

I love the sweary cushions. There's also sweary doilies!! This cushion is on Etsy but I'm sure you could a find similar pattern somewhere

@AvoidingCallenetics, the OP offered to knit some booties, the cousin insisted on a cardie. I did try knitting as a teenager and I know that knitting a cardie is quite an undertaking compared to booties. It was very entitled of the cousin to try and insist when the OP had said she was too busy.

Avoiding
OP is studying and working too jobs she doesn't need to put herself out for anyone who demands something from her.
It's not like a fancy baby cardiwith motifs like the cousin wanted is just a couple of hours work!