To tell her to piss off?

[SpareChangeDownTheSofa]

I enjoy knitting as a hobby and will occasionally knit gifts for people (if I am in the mood for that kind of project and have the money/time). For example, socks and scarfs. I recently starting knitting the occasional baby cardy, I gave one to one of my brothers for his baby etc.

Recently a pregnant cousin was talking to me and said ''I can't wait to see what you knit for mine). I told her I don't really have the time (I'm studying) etc but she told me she would pay for the wool so it'll be okay She keeps bringing it up when I see her.

AIBU thinking if I say I haven't got time you can't just expect someone to make something for you and to tell her to sod off? I've had a few friends/family now telling me they want me to knit them socks/scarves etc and they will pay for the wool as if that covers all of the work so I'm getting really annoyed.

Lola She does really want one because every time I see her she asks me to knit her one and where should she buy the wool from for me.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister Her baby is different because it would be my second cousin, not a niece or nephew. And my brother asked me for a cardy once and if I had the time (which I was also just as non-commital about) , he was very happy to have one but he didn't pester me like she is doing now.

I am a bit wary of buying one and passing it off as mine, just because I don't want her to think that bugging me all of the time has actually worked!

I completely agree, 2bees!

Quite often if you offer to do a 'skills' swap people will decide they don't need whatever it is they are asking for. So if you estimate that it will take you, say, 12 hours to make it and ask for 12 hours of their time (e.g. doing ironing for you) most of the pushy types will be horrified at you asking and claim that they barely have time to do their own ironing let alone yours.

For this case though I would tell her that it will mean so much more to her and her baby if she makes it herself, so you will send her some links to useful YouTube videos.

Maybe she thinks you're closer than you are - like she's the same level as your brother, so thinks you'd like to knit her a present?

She might also think she's doing you a favour - now you won't have to go out and buy something.

I'd try telling her how long it would actually take to do, and what that would mean for you eg. two hours a night, which would mean you wouldn't be able to watch any TV for a month. Or something.

2bees So true

BlackAmericano That sounds like an amazing idea haha!

I'm seeing her again tomorrow so if it comes up I'm just going to repeat I don't really have the time.

Say no.

I think people often have no idea what they're asking when they make these requests.

I wouldn't fridgepants I find Noro awful to knit with and as yarn goes it's not that expensive . You could always suggest quiviet

I have stopped posting finished items on Facebook. It just means rude comments such as "where's mine?"

That is so annoying. I enjoy knitting, for myself, when I want to and at my own pace. I get requests and I never understand why people think that if they buy the wool it will be a done deal. Never mind my time and effort! I just say no. It takes the pleasure out of it for me if I'm expected to knit to order.

Ops baby got a cardi becasue Op had the time to do it. She doesnt have time just now to do one for anyone else.

She has clearly said that several people are asking her for stuff, if she says yes to one then she will piss off all the others or be guilt tripped into doing them all.

Baby wool is expensive average 2 balls of wool for a small cardi = £7 - £8 add on 5 buttons £5 - £7 so you are talking £12 - £15 just for the materials. Its really not the cheap option it used to be to knit for babies these days. If everyone you know is asking you 'just knit me a cardi please' cos they think you love doing it, how out of pocket would you be pdq?

She isnt 'bigging OP up' she is deliberately ignoring Op telling her she hasnt got time because she has no idea of what it costs or how long it will take Op to do it, and she doesnt care, its a case of "I want so I should get".

Noro and Quiviet Oh can you imagine?!

I remember when I was first staring and I got that cheap stuff for like £2 a huge ball and I was like ''Whoa, this isn't cheap!'' If only I knew!

I freely admit to being a yarn snob and a selfish knitter.
It is a common fallacy that it is cheaper to make something yourself and that knitters just love spending all their time knitting for others - nope !

X posted didnt see she would buy the wool but still relevant to everyone saying you should do it for anyone who askes!

She's probably just being polite because you knit. She isn't desperate for a caddy she's bigging you up. It's back fired though.

This ^^ 100%

It's only a knitted cardigan. I really don't think she's going to be as desperate as she seems to be coming across to you.

Just tell her you're not doing it and I'm sure she'll forget all about it, or ask someone else.

Link to the selfish knitters group on Ravelry .

www.ravelry.com/groups/selfish-knitters--crocheters

fridgepants The cheeky mare!

Willow Thanks so much for breaking it down like that, I love to knit (in the middle of a scarf for my mum for Christmas) But working to a deadline is a nightmare, I like to just take my time. I might do it for ten minutes one night and two hours the next! You're right in saying if I make her one I'll have to make stuff for others too.

2bee ''Where's mine?'' Oh my god, I relate so much!

I like blackamericanos idea. She has 2 months , surely she can learn from YouTube and make one in the time between finishing work and baby arriving if she thinks someone experienced can throw one together in an hour?

I can't wait to see what you knit for mine I told her I don't really have the time (I'm studying) etc but she told me she would pay for the wool so it'll be okay

She does really want one because every time I see her she asks me to knit her one and where should she buy the wool from for me

How on earth does the two statements above translate to the statement below?

She's probably just being polite because you knit. She isn't desperate for a caddy she's bigging you up. Its back fired though

Persistance isnt polite and whats backfired?

I used to sew wedding samplers for friends. I got a bit tired of them though, but a friend's wife begged me to make one and pestered me until it was done. They are now divorced, so I imagine it has now been chucked out (no-one wants a memento of a failed marriage, do they?) So far, all the weddings I chose to do samplers for have lasted though!
My mum also used to do them - a neighbour asked her to do one and said that she would buy the materials - when my mum said "It's not very hard, just time-consuming, I can show you how to do one" the neighbour said "Oh, I can't be bothered to do it"

Noro is like knitting with string!

I can't really knit much any more (sodding useless hands!) but once knitted a 4 ply baby cardi at the same time as knitting myself a chunky sweater and worked out that the baby cardi had more stitches!

Just tell her a flat no. If you keep saying you 'don't really have the time' she'll think she can talk you round. She probably knows you knitted one for your brothers baby and is assuming hers is just as worthy (obviously not, I don't know how close you are).