Situation with a child with austim. Could I have done it differently

[Partypolitics99]

Went to a swimming pool this morning with DH and DS had lots of water slides. One of them is a big tube slide and you can't see the bottom from the top but most of kids seemed really good at giving time for the kids who had just gone down to clear the bottom before they went.
DS we in the queue with DH at the top with him. Before DS was a lad of about 8 or so who came half way down the slide and then stuck his legs out so he did not come down any further. When he did not come out as I expected i peered up the slide and saw that he had stopped himself halfway down and was messing about. I immediately shouted at DH to hold DS at the top of the slide.
I shouted to the lad that he needed to come out as kids where waiting
His mum who had been standing back and I did not clock she was with him said to me "don't shout at him he has austim and likes doing that in the slide".
I replied
"I am sorry but I was not trying to tell him off I am more worried if an older lad or girls come down the slide they will crash into him and your son will he hurt, also little ones may be upset if they get trapped behind him"
She shouted "he had SN for gods sae do you know what they means"
(By this time DH had come down with DS and clocked what was happening and another dad was holding the rest of the kids at the top of the slide) DH spoke to a lifeguard who came over and explained to the Mum that her son and others could get hurt if he blocks the slide.

The Mum shouts him down and he slides down straight away" I get a horrid look but think that is that"
Ten minutes later I am walking past the slide with DS and who is emerging from the slide with a bloody nose- her son
The Mum was going mad with the lifeguard and the parent of the boy who had come down the slide and crashed into him.
Mum then storms into dressing room past me with her son and shouts at me "are you happy now? Piss off"
Did I honestly do anything wrong.

He wasn't having a meltdown, and as the mother got him down without one occurring and him going on to continue playing we can safely say that on this occasion it wasn't his autism that made following safety rules impossible. As opposed to some of the examples given by posters of situations where safety was compromised despite the parents best efforts.

If it had been dd's friend waiting at the top, she'd have lost control herself and either injured the boy going down on top of him, or if made to wait she'd have had a meltdown herself and have her day ruined. Granted if another dc was already having one on the slide it would be unfortunate, but unavoidable that her day would be ruined, but I fail to see why her enjoyment should potentially be sacrificed just because of another mothers lax approach.

You didn't do anything wrong OP. I also feel sorry for the kid who contributed to the other getting a nosebleed. Not his fault that there was no visibility.

ASD is often genetic. Could it be possible that the mum has it and couldn't foresee this happening?

Lots of us have repeatedly said that we've been in similar situations & that the safety & comfort of all around, not just our own autistic child come first.

And the OP in her title asked how she could have handled things differently. Lots of us with autistic children have said in our opinion she did the right thing (stopped her own child from sliding, spoke to child on slide pointing out danger, speaking to lifeguard to report potentially dangerous situation.)

This is why we go to parks when they are more likely to be quiet and which are easy for me to access ds if needed because he struggles with them so I need to be able to get to him if necessary to keep everyone there safe.

Parks and water parks are dangerous places so as hard as it is everyone does have to follow basic "rules" to help reduce the risk of injury

That said we all have bad days and parenting a child with SN is exhausting- often because you can't sit back and relax like others can!

Salty - I saw nothing wrong with your post. If my autistic child had behaved like that I would have apologised, explained about the autism & removed them from the situation. My child is capable of understanding right from wrong but not always capable of controlling impulse behaviour. If a child wasn't capable of understanding then I'd have removed them but otherwise I'd have reinforced that it wasn't nice behaviour.

I didn't report it Salty so presumably others also found your general comment about parents of disabled children, offensive.

OP, I'm curious where this occurred. It's not usual to have a slide where there is no life guard and where you can't see down the slide.
Was it a public pool
Lots of us have said that ours are not manned.
It's not unusual, a lot simply have the light system.
You didn't do anything wrong, this mother should not have been abusive to you.
Feel sorry for both children.

I have 2 children with autism and would have thanked you for telling mine to come down in that situation. Children with autism need more support not less and this mother is doing her child no favours. The whole issue was a safety concern.

Hint - try replacing the "sn"with a different group and see how it reads.

Well mnhq clearly thought otherwise. You could always ask them to explain it to you if you are still not getting it.

Race, sexual orientation and disability has nothing to do with it. A child was being unsafe on the slide, so action had to be taken to ensure the safety of the child, and that of other children.

I agree Aeroflotgirl. That's my point.

By the way Saltyseabird, the use of the word "coloured"is also offensive.

Criticising the parent in the OP is fine. Using this thread as an excuse to have a wider dig at parents of children with SN in general isn't.

Hmmmmmm Fanjo. I've had dealings with you before on another thread. You told me because I had brought up my son respecting good manners and to try painstakingly to behave appropriately in certain situations that my son obviously wasn't disabled enough. Because we strived to get him to achieve the best he possibly could in life with a diagnosis of Aspergers and cerebral palsey, you wrote me off as someone who hadn't struggled enough. If you really want to educate the posters on this thread do so. Factually. Popping on with same shit different day comments doesn't inform anyone of anything. Oh you may be pleased to know we couldn't achieve the goal of getting him a driving license which you sneered at. But he did get into uni and passed his exams with a distinction. It was a bloody hard slog getting him to that stage. And I'm immensely proud of what he achieved against all the odds.

?? at fanjo. Katy - congratulations. You must be very proud.

I'm also interested as to where this happened. From what the op said the slide had no light system either as she had to call up for her dh to hold her son at the top. No lifeguard, light system or visibility of the bottom of the slide sounds really unsafe. The kids the op saw may well have been 'really good at leaving enough time' before going down the slide but all kids won't be sensible or that good at estimating regardless of sn.