Situation with a child with austim. Could I have done it differently

[Partypolitics99]

Went to a swimming pool this morning with DH and DS had lots of water slides. One of them is a big tube slide and you can't see the bottom from the top but most of kids seemed really good at giving time for the kids who had just gone down to clear the bottom before they went.
DS we in the queue with DH at the top with him. Before DS was a lad of about 8 or so who came half way down the slide and then stuck his legs out so he did not come down any further. When he did not come out as I expected i peered up the slide and saw that he had stopped himself halfway down and was messing about. I immediately shouted at DH to hold DS at the top of the slide.
I shouted to the lad that he needed to come out as kids where waiting
His mum who had been standing back and I did not clock she was with him said to me "don't shout at him he has austim and likes doing that in the slide".
I replied
"I am sorry but I was not trying to tell him off I am more worried if an older lad or girls come down the slide they will crash into him and your son will he hurt, also little ones may be upset if they get trapped behind him"
She shouted "he had SN for gods sae do you know what they means"
(By this time DH had come down with DS and clocked what was happening and another dad was holding the rest of the kids at the top of the slide) DH spoke to a lifeguard who came over and explained to the Mum that her son and others could get hurt if he blocks the slide.

The Mum shouts him down and he slides down straight away" I get a horrid look but think that is that"
Ten minutes later I am walking past the slide with DS and who is emerging from the slide with a bloody nose- her son
The Mum was going mad with the lifeguard and the parent of the boy who had come down the slide and crashed into him.
Mum then storms into dressing room past me with her son and shouts at me "are you happy now? Piss off"
Did I honestly do anything wrong.

Exactly, where was the mother, she should be been at the other end of the slide. The boy is a child, sn or not, if any child had been blocking the slide, it is unsafe and dangerous, espcially as op has said you can't see from the top to the bottom, so don't know if a child has exited or not! This will lead to a back up kids in the slide, which is dangerous!!!! Most parents including those with SN are quite reasonable, but like any parents, you get those who are not, who are twats, sounding like this mum.

Safety comes first in a situation like this. It is the company who will be sued if anything happens, it has nothing to do with lack of sn understanding, or discrimination. Blocking the slide is unsafe and can lead to accidents, which is what probably happened to this boy. Yet the mum still blamed the op, because she is probably one of those parents, eye roll.

Do they really lynmilne65? Or perhaps you like writing ignorant bollocks.

You did nothing wrong.

My DS is about to be diagnosed with ASD, I still expect to have to discipline him in public and have an awareness of other children.

The only thing I can say is that my youngest child's behaviour frequently reduces me to tears by an evening. I never knew parenting could be this hard. It's a lonely world for me sometimes amongst other parents, maybe she was just overwhelmed but she shouldn't have been so rude to you.

Obviously I can't speak for all parents of children with ASD but I cam assure you I do tell DS off

Completely agree with cansu.

How nice of lynmilne65 to pop along and immediately prove your point.

Yes it was nice of her wasnt it? Maybe I should invite lyn over to show me how it is done.

"It is the company who will be sued I anything happens"
So therefore not a parent's responsibility to police the slide.

I don't dispute that each parent should be responsible for their child at all times

waiting its a parents responsibility for their child!!!! If that had been my dd with ASD and learning difficulties, I would have been in the water with her, and meeting her at the other end of the slide, and trying to coax her down whilst apologising to everyone.

I am sure the parent would sue the company if anything happened to their child, whilst they are failing to supervise them.

Right lynn very nasty and ignorant post from you! words fail me.

I can see it from both sides. I've got 3 DC, 2 of which have ASD.

Just got back from a holiday in France, youngest DS with ASD had been enjoying the water slides (straight down into a few inches of water type ones) no problem. His elder sister had been taking him up the stairs and I had been waiting at the bottom to make sure he got out immediately and didn't hold the queue up.

For about an hour he had been choosing the straight down slides when he changes tack and decides on the half open windy slide that comes out into at least a metre deep of water. I watch with horror as he sits at the top of the slide and goes forward for a couple of metres. Then he STANDS UP and starts walks down the rest whilst flapping his hands. I rush round and start trying to calmly talk him into sitting down like a negotiator while trying to get DD to hold back the queue of French kids waiting to hurl themselves down the slide, possibly knocking DS off his feet and off into the air then 20ft down onto concrete. Even though I was trying to talk calmly at that point my heart was in my mouth and anyone trying to interject would have caught my panic. Even I was shocked at what my DS decided to do but I knew shouting at him at that point would have made him do something even more stupid.

I think to an outsider I would have looked like I wasn't being firm enough with him at that point, in my head I was going ballistic and I was so scared and would have snapped at anyone that didn't seem to,be directly helping. There were no lifeguards in the pool or people monitoring the slide.

DS got a proper telling off when he got to the bottom and was taken straight out the pool to be changed.

Wibbly in that situation you were spot on, you were there at the bottom, you were trying your best, this mum was not, she was happy for her child to block the slide because this is what he likes doing.

My goodness, she was not trying to coax her child down, Fanjo, she did not appear to be doing anything to help the situation. It did not seem that the boy was in a meltdown. See what you want to see!

blaming the mother has experience of trying to haul a kid having a meltdown off a slide

I hated the bit where the elephant turned up.

YANBU if any child has form for misusing play equipment - as with the slide, it's responsible parenting to attempt to ensure that the child either doesn't use it, or uses the equipment safely. I say this, as the other mother said "he does this" - so she knew he'd do it? SN children and their parents face additional challenges and have it tough but in this instance, the other boys behaviour could've caused an even more serious accident, as it was he got hurt! You did nothing wrong OP.

Where in the op does it say the child was having a meltdown?

Why do you assume we haven't got the experience you speak of Fanjo?

I stress again:
It's unsafe
he has done it repeatedly
there was an opportunity to prevent the accident when he followed instructions and came down
She chose an easy life over safety. You just don't!

I can answer this one, fanjo. Yes, we've had to extract our DS from a frozen up state inside a water slide and, on another occasion, playing merrily in the plunge pool at the bottom of the slide. And I'd do it again (though we now do our best to prevent that happening) to avoid a collision or bloody nose or accident in the water (all of which would have fucked up the day more than getting off the slides). That mother, imo, didn't do enough to avoid a preventable accident.