to be shocked by teenage girls clothing lately

[fcek]

I have my DNiece age 14 on facebook. When she likes a friend's photo, it sometimes appears on my newsfeed (and DH's newsfeed)

DNiece is a sensible girl but like most kids she has everyone at school on her facebook.

So this photo she liked appeared on our facebook newsfeeds today and my DH is shocked and disgusted.

The friend of DNiece is 14. We've met her a few times. She looks older than she is, part due to her height and her development (she's very womanly already) and part due to her clothing being adult woman rather than a 14 year old.

But in this picture, its just awful what she is wearing. She's doing pretty much a kim kardashian bathroom selfie, with a kim kardashian style swimsuit. The ones that cover only half the boob and pushes up your tits. The kind you would see on a lads mag. It's just awful awful.

I thought to myself how can her parents let her dress like that, maybe they aren't on facebook, but low and behold her mother is and has liked and commented on that photo plus others.

Looking through DNiece's other friends (none of whom seem to have private facebook pages) there are quite a few others with very revealing photos.

There's guys with joints, alcohol, knives etc.

DNiece dresses appropriately when I see her, her pictures are all normal 14 year old pictures, but I am a bit concerned about who she is friends with but I won't say...not really my place.

Is this what teenage years are like now? I'm worried about my DD's next few year now.

I know I may get flamed for commenting on what someone wears though. Name changed so no one in RL recognises us

Most teenage girls don't dress particularly differently to adults in our society.

I have to laugh at all this 'hypersexualised' talk as though this is some sort of new problem

It is. It has snowballed in my lifetime. How old are you?

Women have always been objectified, but the extent to which they're specifically sexualised has changed.

@Sparrowhawk
MissBabbs, do you find 14 year old boys in swimming trunks sexually arousing?

I said 'It seems that we can't say that attractive young people dressed scantily are sexually arousing.' specifically because I wanted to include both sexes. But imv the equivalent of the cut away swim suit in the above post would be trunks on a boy with glimpses of penis or, near penis, showing. And I'm sure very many people would find that arousing on a young good looking 14 year old male.
I have to say that I don't find 14 year olds of any sex arousing FYI.

Boys don't seem to have this pressure, to look sexy, to nearly the same extent. Which demonstrates something about society which is not in girls' favour imv. So I wouldn't want my DD to dress that way.

I was shocked to see bumbags have made a comeback. Wtf! Thought we'd left those firmly in the 1990s!!

Or as they say in the US "fanny packs".

I'm early 30's, when I was a teen it was all crop tops, low slung jeans to show the top of your thong and a navel piercing. Girls who didn't have/weren't allowed crop tops and thongs would fold up their vests to make one and borrow underwear from friends.

I agree it's really sad to see but I think it's always happened in some way, men will perv whatever you're wearing. I would walk around as a teen in baggy jeans and t shirts and still get beeped at by cars and shouted inappropriate things from men.

Tbh if a teen girl is showing off a womanly figure it will be of little interest to actual peadeophiles, not really what they go for is it...

I so want a bumbag!

'Women have always been objectified, but the extent to which they're specifically sexualised has changed.'

Total bollocks. For the entirety of history women have been sexual objects, with their sexuality controlled by men. Part of the reason people are so upset now is because women and girls are controlling and using their own sexuality for a change.

Sparrow Hahaha. So laughably naive I can't even be arsed to argue with you.

I'm not sure that you understood what I meant by "specifically sexualised" - it wasn't very clear.

What I meant was that the extent to which women are required to look overtly sexy and sexual as opposed to simply pretty has changed.

Compare women's clothes and style in the 40s with now, for example. It's changed even since I was a teenager in the 80s. The impact of porn in the last 15 years has been noticeable.

I agree re porn. But while women in the 40s may have been more covered up they were no less sexualised. Everything was about their sexuality, it controlled their whole lives.

The same was said in the 1960s when miniskirts came into fashion.

A woman is sexual and inviting sex only when she wants sex. No matter what she's wearing no one ever has the right to assume she wants sex, no one has the right to touch her in any way.

The most worrying aspect of this to me is the idea that a 14 year old girl is taking selfies in her bathroom wearing this swimsuit & then posting them online in order to obtain 'likes' or comments that contribute towards her own self worth. If she was wearing the swimsuit at the beach or for actually swimming in then at least it has a purpose, feeling that she has to wear revealing clothing in order to get 'likes' or comments on social media will have far more long term consequences for her self esteem or mental health.

No I think they were less sexualised but they were more subjugated. Overt display of sexuality has been gaining force over the past 100 years, particularly the last 50.

The misogynist conceptual division between madonna/whore was much stronger 60 years ago. "Respectable" women styled themselves like ladies whatever class background they were from and women weren't required to look specifically sexy.

Singers like Judy Garland and Vera Lynn didn't dress like sex workers a la Rihanna/Miley/Xtina. That doesn't mean they weren't sexy, they just weren't required to style themselves that way. Their sexuality wasn't their primary selling point.

These days sexiness 24/7 is held to be important. Skinny jeans, tight top, showing every contour, super high heels, Kardashian mayhem for example.

No matter what she's wearing no one ever has the right to assume she wants sex, no one has the right to touch her in any way

Clearly, but men do all the same.

I agree coco it's really sad.

I remember Germaine Greer saying something along the lines of "I didn't fight for women's right to have sex only for them to end up feeling pressured to look continually sexually available".

I see both sides. It's shit if girls feel that they have to be sexy in order to be liked. That's always been the case even when fashions weren't quite so revealing.

But on the other hand the selfie culture is allowing them to control their own image.

You can't win as a girl. You get these constant messages to be sexy and attractive but woe betide you're too sexy or show too much because then you're seen as a slut.

Most teenage girls just wear ordinary clothes and do not dress up in Kardashian mayhem, high heels etc.

One thing about pedophiles is that they don't get their kinks from a 14 yo looking/posing as an 18 yo. They want 8yos,or 14 yos looking like 8 yos.
The internet is indeed full of pervs and many bad things though. Even more worrying if the effect on the girls/kids self esteem it has.
The internet is a fucking tool. So many parents don't get that. They would let their kid alone with a saw or a power drill without safety precautions,supervision and teaching them how to use it appropriately,but let kids have full access to internet.

The Kardashian reference wasn't wrt to teenagers but women generally.

Teen girls ime wear ordinary clothes for every day, and dress up to go out.

Yanbu. My dd has photos of her friends dressing similarly. I would not like it if it were my dd either. Not a lot i could do about it but would try to discourage it

I agree with the OP.

You can't win as a girl. You get these constant messages to be sexy and attractive but woe betide you're too sexy or show too much because then you're seen as a slut.

It's horrific. And that is something that has really changed. There's always been misogyny and some teen boys I knew had a chirpy casual misogyny. But I never encountered slutshaming like there is now when I was growing up.

There's more pressure than ever to look sexually attractive, but a bit too sexy or one wrong move and girls are labelled 'skank' and 'whore'. It's grim.

You lost me at "my DH is shocked and disgusted".

Needing to cite your DH's reaction smacks of patriarchy and sexism, and is just plain inappropriate. Tell him to stop peeving at teenage girls. Yuck.

So there are guys with joints, alcohol, knives etc. but you're more worried about semi-revealing clothing.

I don't have a problem with people showing off their body if they want to. Men walk around with no clothes at all on their upper body all the time in the summer, even that doesn't offend me too much.